老友记英文

老友记英文

璀璨造句-影立驰

2023年3月16日发(作者：智能穿戴)

《老友记》中英文对照剧本第八季

英语学习利器

801TheOneAfter"IDo"

801TheOneAfter"IDo"

[Scene:TheWeddingHall,MonicaandChandlerhavejustsaid"Ido,"

fMonica,

Chandler,RossandJoey.]

Photographer:Great.(Takesapicture.)Great!Justgivemeasecto

changefilm.

Monica:Okay.

Ross:(ToMonica)Okay,IknowI’mnotsupposedtoknow,butIdo.

AndI’msoexcitedforyou!

Joey:What?What’sgoingon?

Ross:Monica’spregnant!

Joey:OhmyGod!Isthatwhyyouguyshadtogetmarried?!

Monica:Guys!I’mnotpregnant.

Joey:Ah.(ToChandler)Slowswimmers?(Chandlerlooksathim.)

Ross:What?!Whatdoyoumean?You-you-you’renotpregnant?

Monica:Youdidn’ttellanybodyIwasdidyou?!

Ross:No!(Pause)I’llberightback.(Exits.)

801在说了"我愿意"之后

很好

很好!给我一点时间换胶卷

Okay,我知道我本不应该知道这事.

但是我还是知道了,我真替你感到高兴

什么……发生了什么事?

Monica怀孕了!

噢，我的天啊!

你们是不是因为这个才结婚的？

伙计们,我没有怀孕

Huh，游得太慢？（指Chandle的精子^_^）

什么?!你说什么?

你~你~你没有怀孕?

你还没有告诉其他人我怀孕了吧?

还没有

我一会儿就回来

Photographer:Nowwhydon’twegetashotofjustMonicaandthe

bloodysoldier.

Monica:(ToJoey)Oh,,youhavetochangebeforethe

party.

Joey:Ican’t!I-Idon’thaveanyotherclotheshere.

Monica:Findsome!Please!Anythingthatdoesn’tsayI-Idied

tragicallyinFrance.(Joeyleavestofindclothes.)

Photographer:Wellthenwhydon’tweseethebrideandthegroomand

thebridemaids.

Phoebe:Okay.(PhoebeandRacheljoinMonicaandChandleronthe

altar.)HeyMon,whydidyoutelltheguysyouweren’tpregnant?

Monica:BecauseI’mnot.

Phoebe:Wefoundyourtestinthetrash,ifyou’renotpregnant—(She

seesRachelshakingherhead)—It’sbecauseIam.

(Flash,thephotographertakesapictureofMonicaandChandler’s

stunnedfaces.)

Chandler:What?!Whatareyoutalkingabout?

Monica:Whatareyoutalkingabout?

Phoebe:Yes,I…Iamwithchild.(Flash)AndIdidn’twanttosay

anythingbecauseit’syourday;Ididn’twanttostealyourthunder.

Monica:Waitaminute!SoyoutoldpeopleIwaspregnant?!(Flash)

DoesthislooklikeaconversationthatIwanttoremember?!

Chandler:Who’sthefather?

Monica:Yeah!

Phoebe:Ican’tsay.

Monica:Why?!

Chandler:Whynot?

Phoebe:Ican’tsaybecausehe’sfamous.

Rachel:OhmyGod,whoisit?!(Phoeberollshereyes.)

Monica:Phoebe,comeon,youhavetotellus.

Phoebe:Okay,’rolinisthefather

ofmybaby.

Chandler:AsinBarbaraStreisand’shusbandJamesBrolin?

Phoebe:What?!Wellheneversaidthattome!

OpeningCredits

[Scene:TheWeddingHall,continuedfromearlier.]

Photographer:Whydon’twehaveMonicastepawayandwe’llget

Chandlerandthebridemaids.

Phoebe:Howaboutjustthebridemaids?

Chandler:Y’knowIamthegroomright?Iwastolditwaskindabig

deal.

Phoebe:Itis.

Rachel:Foryou.(Chandlerleaves.)

Phoebe:OhmyGod!

Rachel:Oh,an’tdealwiththis

justquiteyet.

Phoebe:SoinsteadyoutoldmeMonicawaspregnant.

Rachel:Yousaidthatshewas,Ijustdidn’tdisagreewithyou.

Phoebe:Sneaky.

Rachel:Ohyeah.

Photographer:Smileladies.

现在,为什么不让Monica和这位伤兵单

独照一张？

噢,说到这。Joey,你必须在晚宴前换一

套衣服

我做不到。在这里我没有其他衣服可换

拜托好歹找一套!

至少不会让人觉得我惨死在法国了

好了那么,轮到新人和伴娘一起照几张了

Okay.

嘿!Mon?

为什么你不告诉大家你怀孕了？

因为我根本没有怀孕

我们在垃圾斗发现了测试棒,如果不是

你怀孕~~

其实是我怀孕了

什么?你到底在说什么?

是的,我~~~~

我有孩子了

我之所以没想告诉大家

是因为今天是你的大好日子，我不想抢走

你的风头

慢点，所以你告诉大家我怀孕了？

你觉得我喜欢这个话题吗?（为什么照个

不停。）

孩子的父亲是谁?

没错!

我不能说

为什么？

为什么不能说?

我不能说

是因为他很有名

噢我的天啊!他是谁?

Phoebe,拜托!你必须告诉我们.

好吧，好吧

是JamesBrolin.

JamesBrolin是孩子的父亲

BarbraStreissand的丈夫JamesBrolin?

什么?!

他从没告诉我这些

翻译校对:F6论坛,水木TV_Friends版

汉风论坛()NTPshawn

调校

Uh,Monica,你能不能靠边一点

轮到Chandler和伴娘合影了

不如就伴娘合影怎么样?

我算是新郎,是吧?所以我想你们应该先

和我商量一下

好吧，好了

噢，天啊

感谢你能为我掩饰。我一时实在无法应付

这种事

Rachel:Oh!(Theysmileandthepictureistaken.)Ohbytheway?

Phoebe:Uh-hmm.

Rachel:JamesBrolin?

Phoebe:Oh,onlythinkoftwonames,himandEdBegley

nIrememberedhe’sgay.

Rachel:ay.

Phoebe:(intrigued)Really?!

[Scene:TheReceptionHall,thepartyisinfullswing.]

Bandleader:Thankyouverymuch!Ladiesandgentlemen,itgivesme

greatpleasuretointroducetoyoufortheveryfirsttime,

erBing!

(Theyenter.)

Chandler:BeforewegooutthereI’vegotapresentforya.

Monica:Honey,I’mgoingtoputmyhandinyourpocket!

Chandler:No?

Monica:No.

Chandler:I’vebeentakingdancinglessons.

Monica:What?!

Chandler:Yeah,dthistobeamomentyou

willneverforget.

Monica:Ohthatissosweet!

Chandler:So?Wouldyoucaretojoinmeinourfirstdanceashusband

andwife?

Monica:Yes.

(TheywalkontothedancefloorandChandlerslipsandalmostfalls.)

Monica:What’sthematter?

Chandler:Idon’tknow,it’sthesenewshoes,they’reallslippery.

Monica:Well,areyougoingtobeabletodothis?

Chandler:Notwell.

(TheystartdancingandChandlerstartsslippingaround.)

Monica:Well,thegoodnewsis,Idon’tthinkanyone’slookingat

us.

[CuttoPhoebeandRachelattheirtable.]

Phoebe:So,areyoureadytotalkaboutit?

Rachel:No.

(Pause)

Phoebe:Now?

Rachel:No!

Phoebe:Okay,we’lltalkaboutsomethingelsethen.

Rachel:Thankyou.

Phoebe:Who’sthefather?!

Rachel:Ugh!Lookhoneyy’knowwhat?Ihaven’ttoldhimyet,sountil

IdoIdon’tthinkIshouldtellanybodyelse.

Phoebe:’’g?

Rachel:Phoebe!!

Phoebe:Okay,I’msorry.I’llstop.

Rachel:Okay.

Phoebe:IsitRoss?It’sRossisn’tit—OhmyGod,it’sJoey!

Rachel:Honey,stopit!IamnotgoingtotellyouuntilItellhim.

Phoebe:Ah-hah!Atleastweknowit’sahim.

[CuttoJoeyenteringwearingapreppytennisoutfit.]

所以你就告诉我Monica怀孕了？

是你说她怀孕的，我只是没有表示反对而

已

Huh!果然狡猾

是有点

笑一个,女士们!

噢,顺便问一下。-H-Hmm.

JamesBrolin?

噢,知道了

我一时只想起了两个人的名字，他和Ed

BegleyJr

然后我记得EdBegleyJr.是同性恋，所

以……

EdBegleyJr.不是同性恋！

真的？

非常感谢

女士们先生们，

我很荣幸地为大家介绍一对新人——

ChandlerBing夫妇!

在我们在那之前，我为你准备了一份礼

物。

亲爱的，我不是有意把我的手放在你的衣

袋里

不是这个意思，我是说我为了这个晚会特

地去上了舞蹈课

你说什么?

是的,从六个星期前就开始了

我要让这时刻永生难忘

噢,你真是太好了

那么，愿意和我一起来一支新婚燕舞吗?

当然愿意

怎么啦?

我不知道。是这双新鞋，它们太滑了

你还准备跳舞吗?

为什么不

有一点值得欣慰,至少我们不引人注目

那么，准备说出来了吗?

没有

那现在呢?

不

好吧,那我们谈谈其他的事吧

孩子的父亲是谁?

你瞧，亲爱的，你知道吗？我甚至都没告

诉他，

所以在他知道之前，我想我不应该告诉其

他人

没错。这很自然，很公平

是Teg吗？

噢，Phoebe！

Okay，我的错，我不问了

很好

Monica:(seeinghim)OhsweetLord.

Joey:I’msorry!Okay?Iwentdowntothegiftshopandit’seither

thisorabathrobe!Look,what’smoreimportant,thewayI’mdressed

ormebeingwithyouonyourspecialday?

Monica:Honey,I’mnotevengoingtopretendIwaslistening.(Sees

someoneelse.)Hey!Hey!(Goesovertothatperson.)

[Cuttothehallwayoutsidetheroom,Rossisgoingtoseewhichtable

he’satandseesabeautifulwomandoingthesamething.]

Ross:Hi.I’muh,I’’t,Idon’tbelievewe’vemet.

I’mMonica’solderbrother.

Woman:Ohhi,I’m,I’mMonafromherrestaurant.

Ross:Oh!Hellouh,Monafromherrestaurant.(Heuseshiscardto

mouththosewords.)(Pause)Mona,wowwhata,whatabeautifulname.

Mona:Youthinkso?I’vealwayskindahatedit.

Ross:Awcomeon,MonaLisa?

Mona:Uh-huh.

Ross:Monaumm…ousbotanist?Huh?Ohnoshe’s

uh—wellshe’,supposedlyshewasoncequitethehottie

oftheplantworld.

Mona:Really?!Wellsee?Ineverknewabouther.

Ross:LindaClickclocken.(Pause)Sowhatuh,what-whattableareyou

at?(Sheshowshim.)Oh,uhmetoo.

Mona:re’llbesomeonetherewholikesmyname.

Ross:(sexily)Yestherewill.(MonaleavesandRosstriestofind

thesametable.)Ohguesswhat,MollyGilbertyou’vejustbeenbumped

t’sallrightwithyouI’mgonnatakeyour

placeattablesix—MartinClickclocken.

[CutbackinsidetoJoeygivingabeautifulwomanatennislessonby

standingbehindher.]

Joey:That’sbetter,

,stimeIwantyoutoreally

putyourassintoit.(Theydoapracticeswingandshereallyputs

herassintoit.)

[

birthmother,notthemotherwhorecentlyvisitedoneofthoseclinics

inSweden.]

:Chandlerdarling!Look,mydatehasfinallyarrived.I’d

likeyoutomeetDennisPhillips.

DennisPhillips:Congratulations.

Chandler:Thankyou.

:Dennisisadearoldfriendandafantasticlover.

Chandler:BravoDennisthanksforpleasingmymotherso.

DennisPhillips:Oh,I’msosorryImissedtheceremony,Iwasstuck

atauditions.

:Ohyes,DennisisdirectinganewBroadwayshow.

Joey:Idon’tbelievewe’vemet,JoeyTribbiani.

DennisPhillips:DennisPhillips

Joey:Wow,I’-you’vedonesome

reallyamazingstuff.

DennisPhillips:Oh,you’llexcuseme,I’mgonna

inamoment.(Walksaway.)

是Ross吗？一定是Ross,不是吗？

噢上帝啊！Joey才是孩子的父亲！

别在吓猜了！再我告诉他之前我是不会告

诉你的

啊－哈!至少我们知道他是个男的

哦，我的活宝

我很抱歉，行吗？

我跑到礼品店，可是那里只有这个和一套

浴衣

你说，我的着装重要还是我参加了你的婚

礼更重要？

宝贝，我没空听我也不准备假装在听你瞎

掰

嘿，嘿！

你好？

我叫Ross。我想我们以前没见过吧

我是Monica的哥哥

噢，你好。我叫Mona，是她餐厅的同事

噢，你好，餐厅的同事Mona

Mona。哇噢，多美的名字啊！

你这么觉得？

我一直都不喜欢这个名字

别这样说！蒙娜丽莎怎么样？

Mona

嗯

Kleklokin.

著名的植物学家

噢,没听说过

她是一个……她虽然已经去世了，但

是……

想像一下她曾经是植物学界的红人

真的吗？

Uh-huh.

看来我确实没听说过她

LindaKleklokin.

你坐在……

你坐在哪一张桌子？

哦……我们坐在一起！

很好

看来会有一个喜欢我名字的人和我坐在

一起了

没错

哦很抱歉，MollieGilbert？

你刚刚被换到1号桌

如果你不介意，我将会坐到6号桌去

MartinKleklokin.

很好

现在把你的手臂稍稍弯起一点

然后向前看

这次，我要你加上臀部动作

Chandler，亲爱的，过来！我的男朋友

Joey:WowDennisPhillips!That’sgreat!Howdidyouguysmeet?

:Well,it’safunnystory.

Chandler:Funny:ha-haorfunny:(Mimesblowinghisbrainout.)

[disfinishinganothersong.]

Bandleader:Thankyou,yonewillplease

takeyourseats,dinnerwillbeserved.

(Rossstartslookingfortablesixandfindsoutthatit’sthekid’s

Monasittingatanothertable.)

Ross:Hey!Uh,Ithought,Ithoughtyouwereattablesix.

Mona:No,nine.(Showshimthecardagain.)

Ross:Ohsee,beforeyouuh,whenyoushowedittomeyou-youheld

itthatway(heturnsherhandupsidedown)whichuh,whichwas

’m…(Hegoesatsitsdownathisnewtableand

thekidsstareathim.)Hello.

[Cuttothehallway,Chandlerisputtingtapeonthebottomofhis

shoes.]

Joey:useeifyourmomcangivemyresumetoDennis

Phillips?‘CauseifIcangetinaBroadwayshowthenIwould’ve

doneitall,film,television,ythinkleftwould

beradio,andthat’sjustforuglypeople.

Chandler:Whatsizeshoesdoyouwear?

Joey:Uh,eleven,elevenandahalf.

Chandler:Great,becausemyshoesaregivingmealittleproblemon

thedancefloor,canIborrowthebootsfromyourcostume?

Joey:Uh,Idon’.

Chandler:(lookingatJoey’sfeet)Thosearen’televenandahalf.

Joey:Okayfine!I’maseven!Allright,Ihavesurprisinglysmall

restofmeisgood,I’llshowya!

[CuttoMonicaandRachelattheirtable.]

Monica:CanyoubelievePhoebegotpregnant?!

Rachel:Ohy’knowwhathoney?Let’snottalkaboutthatrightnow?

Monica:Thisissohuge.

Rachel:Sure,butcomeon,asbigasyourwedding?

Monica:nmeandyou…

Rachel:Yeah.

Monica:…inthisdayandagehowdumbdoyouhavetobetoget

pregnant?

Rachel:Hey!Y’know,sometimesyoucandoeverythingright,everyone

canweareverythingthey’resupposedtowear,andoneofthoselittle

guysjustgetsthrough!

Monica:How?

Rachel:Idon’tknow!Maybetheyhavetools.

Monica:WellI-Italkedtoanduh,she’sdefinitelygoingtohave

thisbaby.Y’know,shesaidshewasgonnaraiseitonherown.

Rachel:Well,maybethat’s,maybethat’sreallybrave.

Monica:opesherealizeshowhardit’sgonnabe.

Rachel:Maybeshehasn’treallythoughtitthroughthatwell.

Monica:Well,there’,howisshe,how

isshegoingtohandlethisfinancially?Howisshegoingtojuggle

work?Doessherealizeshe’snotgoingtohaveadateagainforthe

nexteighteenyears?

终于来了

很高兴向你介绍DennisPhillips.

恭喜你

谢谢

Dennis是我一个老朋友，

兼一流的情人

干得好，Dennis！谢谢你把我母亲逗得

这么开心

我很抱歉我错过了婚礼仪式

我被试镜的事给拖住了

哦，是的，Dennis正在导演一部百老汇的

戏剧

我想我们没见过面，我是JoeyTribiani

DennisPhillips、

噢，我一直都很崇拜你的作品。你导演

了很多出色的剧目

哦，过奖

那么，失陪，我去喝杯饮料

哇噢，DennisPhillips.

太棒了，你们是怎么认识的？

知道吗？那实在是太有趣了！

Funnyha-ha,orfunny

pook-pook-uh-ugh?

谢谢，非常感谢

请各位就坐，晚宴即将开始

你好.

我以为你坐6号桌

不，9号桌

噢！看到了吗？你刚才是这么拿的，

结果造成了误会

那么，Emm~~~~

你们好吗？

Chandler

你妈能把我的简历拿给Dennis

Phillips？

如果我能演百老汇剧我就无所不能

电影，电视，戏剧

恐怕只有电台，

那是为长相不怎么样的人准备的

你穿几号的鞋？

嗯，11号，11号半

好极了。我的鞋不适合跳舞，

我能穿你刚才的靴子吗？

抱歉，我忘了把它们搁哪了

你穿的才没到11号半呢？

好吧!我穿7号的

我的脚确实很小，但是其他部分绝对正

常，不信你看

没想到Phoebe竟然怀孕了？

哦，知道吗，亲爱的？现在别谈这个好

吗？

Rachel:(startingtocry)Idon’tknow.

Monica:Areyouokay?

Rachel:Uh-hmm.I’mjustthinkingaboutPhoebe;poorknockedup

Phoebe.

Waiter:Champagne?

Rachel:Ohyes!Thankyouverymuch!(Shegrabsaglass,takesasip,

ntriestospitthechampagne

n’twork.)Oh

that’s-that’sactuallyhowtheFrenchdrinkit.

(Monicagasps.)

CommercialBreak

[Scene:continuedfromearlier,onlynowPhoebejoinsthem.]

Phoebe:Well,Ijustgotoffthephonewithmylover,JamesBrolin…

Monica:Ohreally?!

Phoebe:Yes,andapparentlyheismarriedtosomesinger,buthesaid

id,"James,JamesBrolin,areyou

sure?"JamesBrolinsaid…

Monica:(interrupting)Rachel’sreallytheonewho’spregnant.

Phoebe:(shocked)What?!(deadpan)Whybother?

Monica:Howdoyoufeel?

Rachel:Idon’’allhappening

omakeallthesedecisionsthatIdon’twanttomake.

(Takesanothersipofchampagneandspitsitbackout)Somebodyjust

takethisawayfromme!!

Phoebe:ou’renotpregnant.

Rachel:What?!

Phoebe:WhenIgotpregnantwiththetriplets,Itookthattestlike

threetimesjusttomakesure.

Monica:Yes!Maybeit’sureyoupeedon

thestickright?

Rachel:Howmanywaysaretheretodothat?

Phoebe:I’m-I’mjustsaying,don’tfreakoutuntilyou’rea

hundredpercentsure.

Rachel:Allright,I’ll-I’lltakeitagainwhenIgethome.

Monica:,doitasapresenttome.

Rachel:ou.

Monica:Okay.

Phoebe:I’llrunoutandgetyouone.

Rachel:Oh,youguysaresogreat.

Monica:Oh,waitaminute!Who’sisthefather?!

Phoebe:Ohno,shewon’ttellus.

Monica:Oh,comeonit’smywedding!Thatcanbemypresent.

Rachel:Wh—Hey,Ijustgaveyoupeeingonastick.

Phoebe:See?Thisiswhyyouregister.

[hesforsomethingandafart

noiseemanateswhichcausesthekidstolaugh.]

Ross:Itwasthechairagain!Okay?I’mnotdoingit!Itwhat—look,

Idon’t—y’knowwhat—eh-eh…(HewalksawayandgoesovertoMona.)

Hi.

Mona:Hi!

Ross:Umm,wouldyouliketodance?

这可是件大事！

没错！但是能和你的婚礼相比吗？

当然不能，没东西能和这个相比

哇噢,像我们这样

怎样？

这种年纪怎么会这么不小心怀孕了？

嘿，知道吗？有时候你可以做任何你觉得

正确的事，

每个人想穿什么就穿什么，而不必在乎别

人怎么看

有些人就是能做到这样

怎么办到的？

我不清楚。也许他们有什么工具吧

我已经和她谈过了，她显然已经准备把孩

子生下来

知道吗，她说她要独立把孩子抚养大

是啊，这也许……

也许需要很大的勇气

也许吧。我只是希望她能够认识到这有多

困难

也许她还没有认真得考虑清楚

她需要想的东西太多了！

我是说，她是否……

她是否有这个经济实力抚养孩子？

与工作的关系如何协调？

她知不知道她将有18年不能再约会了？

我不知道

你还好吧？

Uh-huh

我只是在为Phoebe担心

她真可怜啊

香槟？

噢，我来一杯！谢谢

法国人实际上都是这么喝的

我刚刚和我的情人JamesBrolin通过电话

了

噢，真的吗？

是的，显然他已经是有妇之夫了，

但是他告诉我他会和那个歌星妻子离婚

然后我就说：“James，JamesBrolin，

你真的要这么做吗？”

JamesBrolin说……

其实上是Rachel怀孕了？

你说什么？！

真难为我了！

你觉得怎么样？

我不知道，我快没有知觉了

这一切来得太突然了

我不得不面对一些我不愿面对的问题

嗯~~把这个拿开，别让我再喝了

冷静点，说不定你根本就没有怀孕

Mona:Sure.

Ross:Yeah?

Mona:Yeah.

Ross:Ohgreat!(TheygetuptodanceandRossisinterruptedbya

littlegirl.)

LittleGirl:?

Ross:Iwasn’tfarting!(ToMona)Uh,alittlegamefromourtable.

(Tothelittlegirl)Yes?

LittleGirl:,willyoudancewithme?

Ross:Ohumm,welluh,ow,I’maboutto

dancewiththislady.

LittleGirl:Okay.(Shedropsherheadindisappointmentandwalks

away.)

Mona:Ohhhh!

Ross:Uh,unless!Unless,uhthisladywouldn’tmindlettingyougo

first.

Mona:I’dbehappyto.(ToRoss)Youareverysweet.

Ross:ummhey,whydon’twetryitmyspecial

way?Youcandanceonmyfeet.

LittleGirl:Sure!

Ross:Yeah?Hopon.(TheystartdancingandMonasitsdown.)Isthe

prettyladylooking?

LittleGirl:Uh-huh.

Ross:Keepdancing.

[CuttoChandlerinthehallwaypracticingdancingandisdoingit

verywell.]

Chandler:Andtheworldwillneverknow.

Joey:Hey!DidyoutalktoDennisaboutmeyet?

Chandler:Yes,imallabout

DaysOfOurLives.

Joey:No-no!No!No!Youdon’ttellaBroadwayguythat!Nowhejust

thinksI’masoapactor.

Chandler:Butyou’asoapactorwith

freakishlytinyfeet.

Joey:Hey!

[JoeywalksbackinsidejustasRoss’sdanceisfinishing.]

LittleGirl:Thankyou.

Ross:No-no,thankyouMiranda.

LittleGirl:Melinda!

Ross:Allright.(WalksovertoMona.)

Mona:Howcutewasthat?

Ross:Oh-oh,wereyou,wereyouwatching?

(Anotherlittlegirlwalksovertohim.)

SecondGirl:CanIgonext?

Ross:What?Ofcourseyoucan!Hopon!

Mona:Okay,butIgettohoponafterher.(Rossbitestheairin

response.)

Ross:Iamsogonnascore.

SecondGirl:What?

Ross:Ilikeyourbow.

[Behindthem,Joeygoesuptothebandleaderandinterruptsthesong.]

什么？

上次怀上三胞胎的时候，

我做了三次测试才确定我的确怀孕了

是啊，说不准那是个错误的阳性反应。你

确信你尿对了地方？

还有其他的方法吗？

我只是想说，在你没有100%确定之前千万

别慌

好吧，我回家以后再做一次测试

你现在就做

就当着是给我一份礼物，

好吧，太感谢你了

好极了，我出去帮你买

你们对我真是太好

噢慢着！孩子的父亲是谁？

噢，别问了，她不会说的

别这样！这可是我的婚礼！

这也可以当作给我的礼物

等等，嘿！你不是说刚才那个是给你的礼

物吗？

瞧，这就是为什么你需要登记收到的礼物

这还是椅子弄出来的声音，相信我？

我没有放屁！

嘿？

嘿

能请你跳支舞吗？

当然

太好了

Gellar博士？

我没有放屁！！

我们那桌玩的一个小游戏

什么事？

Gellar博士，能请你跳支舞吗？

哦，嗯。待会吧。我正准备和这位小姐跳

舞

那算了

噢，

除非，

除非这位小姐不介意让你优先

我不介意

你真是好人

哦，我算是吧

为什么我们不来点新鲜的？你踩在我的

脚面上跳如何？

当然可以！

站上来！

那位漂亮的小姐在看我们吗？

Uh-huh.

接着跳

没人会知道我跳得多好

嘿，你和Dennis谈起过我吗？

Joey:(clinkshisglass)I’caand

Chandler,,

mywhenIfirstfoundouttheyweregettingmarriedIwas,Iwasa

ke,(overlyangry)"WhyGod?Why?Howcanyou

takethemawayfromme?!"ButthenIthoughtbackoverallourmemories

together,somehappymemories.(Doesafakelaugh.)And-andtherewas

somesadmemories.(Startstobreakdownandcry.)I’-and

somescaredmemories—Whoa!(Hejumpsback,startled.)Eh?Andthen,

andthenIrealizedI’llalwaysbetheirfriend,theirfriendwho

canspeakinmanydialectsandhastraininginstagecombatandis

willingtodopartialnudity.(Startstowalkaway,butrealizes

something.)Oh!Tothehappycouple!

[TimeLapse,theinterruptedsongisfinishing.]

Bandleader:Thankyou.

Ross:(tothesecondgirl)ThatwasveryniceAshley.

Ashley:Canwedoitagain?

Ross:No-no.(WalksovertoMonaagain.)

Mona:So,isitmyturnnow?

(Alargelittlefatgirlwalksover.)

FatGirl:I’mnext!

Ross:Oh!(Recoilsinhorror.)

Mona:Uh,that’dancewithherfirst.

Ross:Oh,you-yousure?(Shenodsyes.)Okay.(Tothegirl)

what’suh,what’syourname.

FatGirl:Gert!

Ross:That’s,that’spretty.(TheystarttodanceandGerttries

tosteponRoss’sfeet,buthepullsthemoutofharm’sway.)Whoa!

Whoa!Whoa!WhatareyoudoingthereGert?

Gert:Dancingonyourfeet!Liketheothergirlsdidit.

Ross:Okay.(Swallowshard.)HoponGert.(ShedoesandRosswinces

inpain.)

Gert:Whyaren’tyoumovingyourfeet?

Ross:I’mtrying.(Hestrainstomovehisfeet.)

Gert:Faster!You’renotgoingfastenough!

Ross:MaybeIshouldstandonyourfeet!(Gert’sshockedandRoss

realizeswhathesaidandtriestobrushitoff.)

[CuttoJoeygoingovertotalktoDennisPhillips.]

Joey:Sodidyouuh,happentocatchmytoastupthere?

DennisPhillips:OhmyGod,thatwasformybenefit?

Joey:Well,I’,

Iknowyou’recastingforthisnewshow…

DennisPhillips:LookummJoey,I-Idon’tthinkyou’requiteright

forthisproject.

Joey:Oh,seethat’swhereyou’eritisIcando

idn’tseeitupthere,just-justtryme.

DennisPhillips:It’beChinese?

Joey:WellI’mnotproudofthis,but…(Heturnsaroundandstarts

tomesswithhiseyelids.)

DennisPhillips:OhmyGod!No-no-no!Please!Please!

Don’t-don’t-don’t!

[CuttoMonicawalkinguptoChandler.]

说了，我告诉他你很有天赋，

我还告诉他你演过“DaysofOurLives”

不，不，别说！你不能把这个告诉百老汇

的人

现在他一定在想，我只是个肥皂剧演员了

但是你可不仅仅是个肥皂剧演员，

你有一双古怪小脚！

非常感谢

不，不。应该谢谢你，Miranda

是Melinda！

是我念错了

刚才真是太可爱了！

噢，你一直在看吗？

我能接着请你跳支舞吗？

当然可以，站上来！

好吧，但是她完以后就该我“站”上来跳

一支了

我今天有艳福了

什么？

你的蝴蝶结真漂亮

我想为天造地设的一对，

也是我最好的朋友——

Monica和Chandler献上我的祝酒词

当我第一次知道他们要结婚的时候，

我……

我有点恼火，就像这样……

“为什么，上帝，为什么？为啥夺走他

么？”

接着我又想起了我们在一起的时光，

一些快乐的日子……

当然还有伤感的时候……

抱歉

接着是一些恐怖的回忆……喔！

到最后，最终我认识到

我永远都是他们的朋友

那种能讲很多种方言，

接受过舞台实战考验，还愿意在舞台上半

裸的朋友

噢！祝新人幸福美满！

非常感谢

跳得真棒，Ashley

再来一曲行吗？

不行,不行

那么……

轮到我了吗？

下一个轮到我了

噢！

Eh，没关系

让她先跳吧

噢，你不介意？

好吧，好吧，你叫什么名字？

Monica:Hey,areyoureadytogetbackonthedancefloor?

Chandler:Diditturnintosand?

Monica:Ohhcomeon,Ilovethissong!Comeon,you’llbefine.(She

startstowalktowardsthefloor.)

Chandler:(slidingupbehindher),Iwon’nowwhy

Itookallthoselessons?See,forthefirsttimeIdidn’twantyou

tobeembarrassedtobeseenonthedancefloorwithsomeclumsyidiot.

Monica:Ohsweetie,youcanneverembarrassme.(Chandlergrunts.)

Okay,eon,itdoesn’tmatter.

Allright?Imarriedyou!SoIwanttodanceonmyweddingnightwith

.(Theygoontothefloor.)Justtrynottomove

yourfeetatall.(Chandlerstartstogetintothegrooveandbust

amove.)Thereyougo.

(dancesover.)

:Chandler,I’mgonnahaveyouarrested.

Chandler:Why?

:Youstolemymoves.(HestartstodancelikeChandlerwas

andChandlerstops.)

[Scene:TheWomen’sRestroom,RachelandPhoebearewaitingforthe

outcomeofRachel’ssecondtest.]

Rachel:Howmuchlonger?

Phoebe:30seconds.

Rachel:30seconds,okay.

Monica:(entering)DidImissit?(Phoebenodsno.)Rachel,I-Iwant

youtoknowthat,ifit’spositive,we’regonna…

Rachel:.(Theyhug.)

Phoebe:It’stime.

(Anotherwomanstartstoenter.)

TheGirls:No!!(Thewomanbacksout.)

Monica:GoaheadRach.

(Shegoesovertolook.)

Rachel:Ohwait!Y’knowwhat?Ican’t,Ican’’t.

Somebodyelsetellme,somebodytellme.

Phoebe:Okay.

Rachel:Okay.

Phoebe:Umm,it’snegative.

Rachel:What?

Phoebe:It’snegative.

Rachel:!(Pause)Thatis—that’s

great—thatisreallygreat-greatnews.(Pause)Y’know‘causethe

wholenotbeingreadyandkindathefinancialaspects,.

Wow,thisissojustthewayitwassupposedtobe.(Startstocry.)

God.

Monica:Well…Well,great.

Phoebe:Here.(GivesRachelatissue.)

Rachel:Thanks.(Crying)Godthisissostupid!(Pause)HowcouldI

beupsetoversomethingIneverhad?It’snegative?

Phoebe:No,it’spositive.

Rachel:What?!

Phoebe:It’s-it’snotnegative,it’spositive.

Rachel:Areyousure?

Girth.

好美的名字

喔，喔~~~~~~

你在干什么，Girth？

和其他的女孩一样，踩着你的脚跳

那好吧

踩上来，Girth！

为什么不动？

我正在努力

快点！你的步法太慢了！

或许应该是我站在你的脚上！

怎么样，你觉得

我的祝酒词怎么样？

噢，上帝。你是说给我听的？

我想至少最后一句是祝贺新人的

我听说你正在为新剧目选演员

听我说,Joey,这个剧目不适合你演

你瞧，所以说你不明白，

不管它是什么剧，没有我不能演的

如果你不相信，尽管来试

我所需要的全是华人演员

你是华人吗？

我并不以此为荣，但是……

哦，上帝啊！不，不，拜托，不要！

嘿！

你现在能跳舞了吗？

舞池变成了沙地吗？

来吧！我喜欢这首歌

来试试!你不会有事的

不,不行,我没法跳舞

知道为什么我会去学跳舞吗？

就是为了这一天，我不想让你

尴尬地和一个白痴一样的傻瓜跳舞

噢，亲爱的，你没有让我难堪

好吧，或许会让我有一点难堪

但是，这不要紧，不是吗？

我已经嫁给你了

我只是想和我的夫君在婚礼上共舞一曲。

来吧！

别这么说。我以后再也不到SlipperyFun

鞋店买鞋了

这就对了！

Chandler，我要逮捕你

为什么？

你抄袭了我的姿势！

还要多久？

30秒

我来迟了吗？

Rachel，

我希望你能知道

如果反映是阳性我们一定……

Phoebe:Wellyeah,Iliedbefore.

Rachel:Oh!

Monica:OhGod…

Phoebe:Nowyouknowhowyoureallyfeelaboutit.

Rachel:Oh-oh,that’sariskylittlegame!

Monica:Areyoureallygonnadothis?

Rachel:Yeah.I’mgonnahaveababy.I’mgonnahaveababy.I’m

gonnahaveababy!(Theyallhug.)

Phoebe:Withwho?

Rachel:Ah,it’sstillnotthetime.

DedicatedtothePeopleofNewYorkCity

ClosingCredits

[Scene:TheReception,JoeyishelpingRosswalkafterGertgot

throughwithhimandMonaislookingonconcerned.]

Ross:Ijustdidn’tseethefastsongcoming.

Joey:’ttrytotalk,we’llgetyouuptoyourroom,

we’llsoakyourfeet,you’llbeokay.

Ross:Oh,thankyou.

Mona:Thatissosweet!

Joey:Yeah.

Mona:No,resofewgenuinelyniceguysoutthere.

Joey:Tellmeaboutit,IfeellikeI’mholdingdownthefortall

bymyself.

Mona:It’sJoeyright?

Joey:Yeah.

Ross:Waitaminute!No!I’mtheniceone!I’mtheonewhodanced

withthekidsallnight!How…Howsmallareyourfeet?!(Theyalllook

down.)

End

我明白，我明白

你明白我的意思？

是的

时间到了

别进来！

去吧，Rach

噢，等等，知道吗？我不敢看

我不敢看，还是你们看了告诉我吧

好的

阴性！

你说什么？

阴性

噢！

噢

这就是结果

这真是，这真是太好了

你们知道吗，我对什么经济问题之类的整

件事根本毫无准备

哇噢，这不正如我所愿吗？

是啊

Uh-huh

谢天谢地，我真是太笨了

居然为这些不存在的事担心？

真的是阴性？

不,其实是阳性

你说什么?

不是阴性,是阳性反映

你不是开玩笑吧？

是的，我刚才撒了个谎

天啊！

你现在知道自己的真实感受了

这游戏简直是在玩火

你真的打算要这个孩子？

是的

我想要个孩子

我要把她生下来

我要把她生下来!

谁是她的老爸？

噢，还不是时候

我只是没听到下一首是快歌

别说话了，我们送你回房间

让你的脚泡一泡,就没事了

多谢你了

你人真好，－当然

不，我是说真的。现在真正的好男人几乎

都要绝种了

听你这么一说，

我倒真觉得自己一个人扛着一座宝塔

你是叫Joey吗？

没错

等等！不！我才是那种好男人！

是我整晚都在和小女孩们跳舞！

你的脚这么小?!

802TheOneWithTheRedSweater

802TheOneWithTheRedSweater

Scene:TheHotelLobby,RachelandPhoebeareatthefrontdesk

checkingout.]

Rachel:Listeny’knowwhatsir?Forthelasttime,Idon’tcarewhat

thecomputersays,wedidnottakeabagofMashuganutsfromthe

-Me-A-Little!

Joey:(entering)Hey!

Phoebe:Oh!Joeyuh,wereyouinourroomlastnight?

Joey:No.(PhoebegrabsthereceiptandshowsittoJoeywhogetsmad.)

Iwastoldthenameofthemoviewouldnotappearonthebill!

(ChandlerandMonicaenter.)

Chandler:(tothefrontdeskclerk)Hi!We’recheckingoutofthe

bridalsuite.

Monica:(depressed)That’sright.I’mnolongerabride.I’llnever

,I’mjustsomeone’swife!

Chandler:AndI’mthehappiestguyintheworld!(Monicagoesand

sitsdowninahuff.)Ohhoney,comeondon’lhave

somuchtolookforwardto!

Monica:Ohyeah,right.(Rollshereyes.)

Chandler:Wegotthehoneymoon.

Monica:That’snot‘tilThursday.

Chandler:Theweddingpictures?

Monica:Theywon’tbereadyforweeks.

Chandler:Notthedisposablecamerasfromthetables.

Monica:That’strue!(Happily)IknewImarriedyouforareason!

Chandler:I’lltellyouwhat,Iwillgogetthemdevelopedandyou

cangohome.

Monica:Okay.

(Joeygiggles.)

Chandler:What?Whatdidyoutakeapictureof?

Joey:Nothing!Itwassomething.

Chandler:OkayRosshasthecameras,hashecheckedoutyet?

Rachel:Areyoujoking?Checkoutisnot‘tilnoonandhehasagood

(checksherwatch)elevenminutesleft.

Chandler:Oh.

Monica:Rosshasnevercheckedoutofaroomaminutebeforehehad

to.

Rachel:Yeah,onetime,whenweweredating,uhwegotalatecheckout,

’know,he

screamedoutRadissonattheend.

Chandler:Okay,wellI’mgonnagetRoss,getthecameras,andget

themdeveloped.(Joeylaughsagain.)’re32!(Exits)

FrontDeskClerk:(ToMonica)Here’sacopyofyourbill.

802红毛线衫

听着，先生

最后一遍告诉你，

我不在乎电脑记录。

我们没从迷你酒吧拿吃的

我们也没看色情电影

嗨

噢乔依，昨晚上你在我们房间吗

没有。

不是说电影名字

不会出现在收费单上吗？

你好.

我们刚住完婚礼套房.

是的.

我不再是个新娘了.

永无机会再当新娘.

现在，我只是某人的妻子了.

而我则是世界上最幸福的男人。

噢，亲爱的，别这样.

别难过.

我们还有许多事值得期待

噢，是呀.

我们会度蜜月。

噢，那要到礼拜四呢.

婚礼照片.

要好几周才弄得好.

一次性相机，可不用等那么久

对！我就知道没白嫁给你

我等会拿去冲印，你先回家。

好的

什么？你拍的是什么？

空白的。

本该有内容，不是吗？啊？

呃，罗斯拿着照相机

他结帐走人了吗？

你开玩笑吧?

不，我没有.

中午才是结帐时间，他还有11分钟

所以?

所以，

罗斯不到万不得已、从不提前结帐

嗯。有次我们约会就结帐晚了。

Monica:Ohthanks.(Readingthebill)Champagne,strawberries…Ohmy

God!Ican’tbelieveChandlerorderedpornonourweddingnight!

Joey:Yeah,that’anut?

OpeningCredits

[Scene:Ross’sHotelRoom,heislettingChandlerin.]

Ross:Hi.

Chandler:Hey.(HeseesthatRossispackingallofthehotel

toiletries)Soaps?Shampoos?Areyoureallytakingallthisstuff?

Ross:Whynot?It’sbuiltintothepriceoftheroom.

Chandler:Yeahbutyoudon’tneed—(Picksupsomething)—Whatis

this?

Ross:Thread!

Chandler:Score!Wherearethedisposablecameras?

Ross:Whatdisposablecameras?

Chandler:Thecameras?RememberlastnightItoldyoutotakethem?

Ross:Noyoudidn’t.

Chandler:Yes!Remember?Rightbeforewecutthecake,Iwentupto

youandIsaid…

Ross:Oh-ohyeah,you-youcameuptomeandaskedifIcoulddoyou

afavor,andmyUncleMurraycameuptoyouandhandedyouacheck.

Andthenyousaid,"Whydotheycallitacheck?WhynotaYugoslavian?"

(Chandlerlaughs.)Yeah,thenyoudidthat.

Chandler:Soyoudon’thavethecameras?!

Ross:an.

Chandler:So?What?What?They’regone!Monica’sgonnafreak!

Ross:Well,I’msurethey’restillsomewherehereinthehotel.

I’ll-I’llhelpyoulookforthem.

Chandler:Great.

Ross:In-inthreeminutes.

(Chandlergoesintothebathroom,closesthedoor,andthenopensit

oksupandhandshimthetoiletpaperRoss

alreadypacked.)

[Scene:MonicaandChandler's,PhoebeisenteringtoseeMonica

sittinginfrontofamoundofweddinggifts.]

Phoebe:Hey!

Monica:Hey!

Phoebe:AreyougonnaopenthepresentswithoutChandler?

Monica:No!(Pause)But,they’recallin’outtome!Imeanthis

littleguy(Holdsupasmallone)

on,Chandlerwouldn’tmindifIopenedjustonepresent!Whatdoyou

thinkitis?

Phoebe:Alittlemirrorthatwhenyoulookintoityouseeyourself

asanoldwoman.

(Monicaopensitanyways.)

Monica:Atinysaltshaker!!!

Phoebe:Ohhh!MyGod!Fortinysalt!

Monica:Ohwow!atwasfun.

Phoebe:Ohyeah.

Monica:,I’mjustgonnawaitforChandlertoopentherest

ofthem.

Phoebe:Okay.

他太兴奋了。

那是我们做爱最美妙的一次。

最后他尖叫"Radisson"（酒店名）

唔，好吧。

我去找罗斯把他照相机里的胶卷拿去冲

印。

32，乔依

你是32房的

这是你的帐单.

噢，谢谢

香槟，草莓.

噢，上帝!

真难以置信，钱德点了色情电视，

在我们的婚礼当晚！

真悲哀

还点了Meshuganut?

嗨

嗨

肥皂，香波?

你全都带走？

为什么不呢?

房间价格包含这些东西

是，但你并不需要它们呀...

这是什么?

线.

答对了

一次性相机哪去了?

一次性相机?

相机，记得吗，

昨晚我让你把它带好.

不，你没说.

不，我说了，想起来了吗?

就在我们切蛋糕前，我走到你那，

对你说的……

噢，是啊.

你走近我，问我能否帮个忙

接着我叔叔默里走到你跟前，

把帐单递给了你

接着你说：“他们干嘛称这是帐单，

而不叫‘南斯拉夫’?"

嗯，然后你就偷笑

那么，你是没拿相机咯?

没有，抱歉，伙计

那怎么办呢？照片没了?

莫妮卡要发狂了

嗯，我肯定相机还在饭店里

我来帮你找。

太好了

嗯，再等三分钟.

嗨.

嗨.

Monica:ghy’know,thisispartofasaltandpepperset.

Imean…Iguessy’

doyouthink?

Phoebe:WellIguessit’sokaytoopenonemoreifit’spartofa

set.Y’know,it’sprobablythisone.(Grabsanothersmallone.)

Monica:Orthisone!(Shegrabsandstartstoopenthebiggest

present.)

Rachel:(entering)Hi.

Monica:Hey,howareyoufeelin’?Anymorningsickness?

Rachel:Shh-shh-shh!Theguysdon’tknowyetdothey?

Monica:No!JoeyandRossdon’tknowanythingandChandlerstill

thinksthatPhoebe’spregnant.

Phoebe:Yeahthat’srightChandlerdoesstillthinkI’mpregnant.

Hehasn’taskedmehowI’,

Ifeelbadforthewomanwhoendsupwithhim.(Monicalooksather.)

Afteryouofcourse.

Rachel:Don’tworryIpromisethatyouwillonlyhavetobepregnant

forafewmorehours,‘causeI’mgoingtotellthefathertoday.

Phoebe:Ooh,isitsomeoneinthisbuilding?Isitthattallguyfrom

thefirstfloor?

Rachel:Ew!No!

Phoebe:What?!Ithinkhe’scute.

Rachel:Wellthenyouhavehisbaby.

Phoebe:BelievemeI’mtrying.

Monica:Wow.Y’,you’regonnatellthis

guytodayandhehasnoideawhat’sgonnahappen.

Phoebe:’rejustgonnaknockonhisdoorandchangehislife

’relikeEdMcMahonexceptwithoutthebigcheck,orthe

rawsexualmagnetism.

Rachel:-huh,Iguessitisprettybignews.

Phoebe:Prettybig?It’shuge!God,thisguydoesn’thaveaclue!

He’sjustwalkingdownthestreetthinking,‘IhadsexwithRachel

!’thenbam!He’safatherandeverything’sdifferent.

Rachel:Wellit’,I’m

notgonnaaskhimforanything.

Phoebe:’s

walkingaroundthinking,‘DoIwanttobeadad?’andthenbam!

Monica:Whatwasthatbam?

Phoebe:Idon’…he-he-he-he’shitbyabus.

Joey:(entering)Hey!

Rachel:HeyJoey,whatwouldyoudoifsomeonethatyousleptwith

toldyouthatshewaspregnant?

Joey:(warily)Whocalledhere?Didshesoundblond?Huh?Did-did-did

shehaveanaccent?Igottamakeacall!(Startstoleave)Ishoulda

neverwalkedintothatSunglassHut!

Rachel:OhJoey!Joey!No,it’snotyou!Youdidn’tgetanybody

pregnant!

Joey:ldyouscaremelikethat?Whatthehellisgoing

on?(Pause.)Issomebodypregnant?

Phoebe:’sme.

Joey:OhmyGodPheebs!You’regonnahaveababy?

钱德都不在，你就想拆开礼物吗?

不

这只是，呃，你知道的，这……

嗯，他们在叫我拆呢.

我说，这小家伙爬到我腿上呢.

噢，我只打开这个礼物，

钱德是不会生气的。

你说，这会是什么呢?

一块小镜子，这样的话，

你照镜子时会发现自己是个老女人

是个小盐瓶!

噢！

上帝啊，装那些小小的盐粒.

噢，好啊.

嗯，这很有意思.

嗯，是的。

那很有意思。

嗯，我就等钱德回来，

一起打开其余的礼物了

好的。

吆!

虽然，这是一部分

装盐、胡椒粉

我猜，那个礼物可能还有另一半。

你怎么认为?

嗯，我想如果是一套的话，

我们可以再拆开一个看看。

我看，很有可能是这一个。

或者这个

嗨

嗨，你感觉怎么样？

你早晨吐了吗?

嘘!他们还不知道呢，是吧？

是的。

乔依和罗斯什么都不知道。

钱德还以为怀孕的是菲比

噢.

是啊。钱德的确以为是我怀孕了.

但他不问我的感受，也不帮我提包

噢，我真为将和他终老的女人难过

当然，是在你之后

别担心，这黑锅你再背几小时就够了

因为，今天我要去跟孩子的爸爸摊牌

噢，那人在这栋房子里吗?

是一楼那个高个儿男人吗

噢——不是！

哦？我认为他很可爱。

呵，那么你去怀他的孩子。

相信我，我正在努力。

你看，这真古怪

我是说，

Phoebe:d,I’mgonnahaveababy!(Joeyand

Phoebehug.)

Joey:Whoa,’sthefather?

Phoebe:Youdon’’snothing

todowithmeorthebaby.(Shesitsdownlikeshe’spregnant.)

Joey:Wellwhoisthisguy?!Huh?Whoishe?‘CauseIwilltrackhim

downandkickhisass!

Phoebe:DavidLynn.

Joey:DavidLynn!DavidLynn!DavidLynn!!(Exits)

Monica:Who’sDavidLynn?

Phoebe:eannoying.

[Scene:TheBanquetRoom,ChandlerisunderoneofthetablesasRoss

enters.]

Ross:Chandler?

Chandler:Hey!Didyoufindthecameras?

Ross:?

Chandler:Yes!Andthat’swhyI’ating.

Ross:WellIcheckedintheuh,lostandfound,Italkedtothemanager,

no-one’sturnedthem.

Chandler:Wellthisisgreat.Y’know,thosecamerasweretheonly

thingthatwasgonnacheerMonicauptoday,she’sreallydepressed.

Ross:Nowyouguysjustgotmarried,whyisshesodepressed?

Chandler:Allmyenergyisgoingintonotaskingthatquestion.I

can’tbelieveIscrewedthisup!

Ross:I’msorryman.(Formallydressedpeoplestarttoenter.)

Here’’saband.

There’sgonnabeplentyofdresseduppeople.

Chandler:Areyousuggestingwedanceourtroublesaway?

Ross:No-no-no,I’msayingwe-webuymoreofthis(disposable

cameras)atthegiftshop,throwourtuxesbackon,andtakeafew

avetodoismakesurenottogetanybodyelse’s

faces.

Chandler:Areyouserious?

Ross:I’?Do-do

youreallywanttostartyourlifetogetherbylettingherdown?

Chandler:Marriageadvice?Really?!

Ross:I’mtellingyou,thislooksexactlylikeyourwedding!Aren’t

thesethesameflowers?

Chandler:Idon’tknow,Monicapickedouttheflowers.

Ross:Whataboutthechairs?

Chandler:Shepickedthoseouttoo.

Ross:Howabouttheplacesettings?

Chandler:Thatwasher.

Ross:Whatdidyoudo?

Chandler:Iwasinchargeofthecameras!Giftshop?

Ross:Hmm.(Theyheadofftothegiftshop.)

[Scene:CentralPerk,RachelissittingonthecouchasPhoebe

enters.]

Phoebe:Hey!Ooh,didyoudoityet?

Rachel:Notyet.

Phoebe:Oh,wellwhatareyoudoinghere?Areyouabouttodoit?

你今天就要去告诉那个男人了，

而他却一点都不清楚会发生什么

他不知道

是呀

你即将走过去敲他家的门，然后

从此改变他的生活。

你就像爱德·麦克（名主持人），

不过你没钱

（对我）也缺乏原始的性吸引力

唔，我想这可是条大新闻

大？是很重大.

上帝，这家伙一无所知

他只是走在街上想着

“我跟瑞秋发生关系了"

然后，砰

他变了父亲，一切都不同了

他愿意才会不同。

我意思是，我不会向他提出任何要求

好吧，可是，他仍然得做重要的决定

接着他团团转、想着，

我想当爸爸吗

然后，砰

那是什么？砰！

我不知道。他，他被车撞了之类

嗨.

嗨.

你好，乔依，如果一个曾跟你发生关系的

人

告诉你她怀孕了。你会怎样做？

谁打过电话来?

听起来象金发女郎吗?

哈？她有口音吗?

我得去打个电话了。

我根本不该去SunglassHut零售店。

乔依……乔依

没说你.

你没让谁怀孕.

噢。

你干吗这么吓唬我?

到底出了什么事?

谁怀孕了吗?

噢，是的，我.

噢，上帝啊，菲比!

你就要有个孩子了?

是的

噢，天哪。

我就要生孩子了!

等等.

父亲是谁?

你不认识他.

那不重要。

(Gasps)IsitGunther?

Rachel:No!Phoebe,it’snotGunther.

Phoebe:ThankGod,‘causethathaironababy…

Rachel:Phoebethefatherisnothereokay?Ihaven’ttoldhimyet

andIdon’tthinkIcantellhimatallnow!

Phoebe:Whynot?

Rachel:Idon’tknow,lkingdownthestreet

thinking,‘I’mgonnatellthefathertoday’andthenbam!

Phoebe:Bus?

Rachel:No,you!tsayinghowhuge

thisallis!

Phoebe:Well-wellbutitishuge.

Rachel:Iknow,butIwasjustthinkingabouthowhugethisisfor

’tevengotohowhugethiswasgoingtobeforthefather.

Phoebe:You’llhimand

’slike,it’slikerippingoffthisBand-Aid.

(Onherarm)Quickandpainless,watch.(Ripsitoff.)Ohmother

of…See?

[Scene:MonicaandChandler's,ObsessiveMonicahasnowopenedmore

oftheweddinggifts.]

Joey:(entering)Ooh-ooh-ooh!Areweopeningpresents?

Monica:No!No!Ishouldn’thaveevenopenedthese!ImeanI—Joey

Iamoutofcontrol!!Joey,erwhat

Isay,nomatterwhatIdo,pleasedonotletmeopenanotherpresent!

Okay?

Joey:Okay.

Monica:Givemeonemore.

Joey:Okay.(Handsherone.)

Phoebe:(entering)Hey.

Joey:Ohgood,uhyou’bs?Listenuhsitdown.I-I

gotsomethingIwanttosay.

Phoebe:Allright.(Shesitsdownlikeshe’spregnantagain.)

Joey:Umm,nowuh…It’sascaryworldoutthere,especiallyfora

singlemom.Y’know,nowIalwaysthoughtyouandIhadaspecialbond

so…(Hegoestoonekneeandpullsoutaring.)PhoebeBuffay,will

youmarryme?

Monica:OhmyGod!Joey!

Phoebe:Hellyeah!I’llmarryyou!(Shegrabstheringandputsit

on.)

Monica:Youcan’tmarryhim!

Phoebe:Heylady,yourday’sover!It’smyturn!

Monica:Phoebe!

Joey:Why?!Whycan’tshemarryme?!

Phoebe:IcanandIwill!(Kisseshim.)

Monica:She’’’stheonewho’s

pregnant.

Joey:OhmyGod.

Phoebe:Hey!

Monica:PhoebeIthinkhewouldnoticeifyoudidn’thaveababyin

ninemonths!

Phoebe:It’sJoey!(Joeyturnsandlooksatherandshemouths‘I

他不想跟我或孩子有牵扯

哼，这家伙是谁?

他是谁？

我会找到他，然后踢他的屁股

大卫·林恩

大卫·林恩是谁?

是跟我一个体育馆的人.

有点讨厌.

钱德?

喂，你找到相机了吗?

没有。你呢?

我找到了.

所以我才在桌子下面————庆祝

嗯，我去失物招领处询问过了。

我跟经理谈了。

但是没人捡到.

嗯，这太好了.

这是今天唯一能让莫尼卡高兴的事了

她相当沮丧。

可你们刚结婚

她干吗不高兴?

我努力不想这个问题.

真难相信我竟然把相机搞丢了

抱歉，伙计.

有办法了

这是同一个舞厅.

有个乐队.

会有许多盛装的人.

你建议我们跳舞来忘掉烦恼?

噢，不，不.

我是说，

我们等会去礼品商店买点胶卷

套上咱们的晚礼服，再拍几张照片.

我们要做的就是别把别人拍进去.

你没开玩笑？

我只是想到你家里新婚的妻子。

你真想让你们的共同生活从失望开始?

婚姻建议?

真的吗?

这看起来很象你的婚礼

这些花都是一样的吗?

我不知道。是莫尼卡挑的花。

嗯，那么椅子呢?

也是她挑的.

地方呢？

还是她选的.

那你做什么了?

我保管相机.

礼品商店?

嗯.

喂.

loveyou’tohim.)

Joey:(smilesthenstops)NowIcan’tbelieveit!What?Rachel’s

pregnant?(Thegirlsnodyes.)Who’sthefather?

Phoebe:Wedon’tknow.

Joey:Ohh…Iwonderifthatdude.

Monica:There’sadude?

Joey:Yeah.

Phoebe:Who?Whoisit?

Joey:AboutamonthagothisguyspentthenightwithRachel,Ididn’t

seewhoitwasbut…(Hewalksoutandclosesthedoor.)

Phoebe:Wasthatstoryover?

(Theyfollowhimandmeethiminthehallcomingoutofhisapartment

carryingasweater.)

Joey:Theguyleftthis.

Phoebe:(gasps)OhmyGod!Iknowwhothefatheris…(Shewalksinto

MonicaandChandler’s.)

Monica:Peoplehavegottofinishtheirstories!

CommercialBreak

[Scene:TheBanquetRoom,RossandChandlerareintheirtuxesand

havestartedtofakethepictures.]

Chandler:(toanothercouple)Uh,excuseme?Couldyoutakeapicture

ofus?

WomanAtTheWedding:Oh!Ofcourse.(RossandChandlerposeandshe

takesthepicture.)

ManAtTheWedding:Uh,wouldyoutakeoneofus?

Chandler:Uhh…Yeahsure.(Holdsthecamerauptohisface.)Click!

WomanAtTheWedding:Itdidn’tclick.

Ross:it.

ManAtTheWedding:Buttherewasnoflash.

WomanAtTheWedding:Whywon’tyoutakeourpicture?

Chandler:Ohyeah.I’lltake,I’lltakeyourpicture.(Hetakesthe

picturewithhisfingeroverthelens.)

ManAtTheWedding:Uh,yourfingerwascoveringthelens.

Chandler:Whoareyou?AnselAdams?!Getouttahere!

[Scene:OutsideCentralPerk,RachelandPhoebeareabouttogo

inside.]

Phoebe:Look,IfeelreallybadabouthowIfreakedyououtbefore,

soIcalledthefatherandaskedhimtomeetyouheresoyoucantell

!

Rachel:What?Heywaitaminute!Phoebe,howdoyouevenknowwhothe

fatheris?

Phoebe:Imayplaythefoolattimes,butI’malittlemorethana

prettyblondgirlwithanassthatwon’tquit.(Shetakesthesweater

outofherpurse.)Ibelievethisbelongstothefatherofyourbaby.

Rachel:OhGod…Oh,he’sinthererightnow?

Phoebe:canturnaroundoryoucangointhereand

youwanttodo?

Rachel:Uh,let’srip!

Phoebe:Really?Areyousure?

Rachel:OhPhoebe!

Phoebe:Okay,.(Theygoinsidetoconfrontthefather.)

噢，你说了吗?

还没有.

噢.

唔，那你在这干吗？

你准备好去说了吗?

是阿甘吗?

不.

不是阿甘.

感谢上帝，我可不想孩子长那样的头发

菲比，孩子的父亲不在这，知道吗?

我没告诉他，我现在根本不能告诉他

为什么不?

我不知道.

我在路上边走边想

我今天就去告诉他，然后，砰!

巴士?

不，你.

菲比，你让我产生错觉.

你一直在说这多严重。

嗯，但它确实严重.

我知道，但我只是在想，

对我来说它有多重要。

我从没想过对于这个父亲来说，

这多重要。

你想得太多了

告诉他，作个了断

就像撕开这块邦迪。

看，快而且不疼。

天啊……

明白了？

噢……

我们来拆礼物吗?

不，不。我们不该拆礼物

乔依，我失去控制了!

乔依，帮我个忙吧。

不过我说什么，做什么

请别让我再打开一个礼物了

好不好?

好的.

再给我一个.

好.

喂

噢，好呀——你在这.

唔，菲比，听着，坐下.

有些话我想对你说

好吧。

嗯……

世道凶险

尤其对单身妈妈来说.

我总是觉得你和我，有一种——

特殊的纽带，因此——

Tag:HeyRach.

[Scene:TheBanquetRoom,Rossistakingapictureofaplant,Chandler

dstops.]

Chandler:Whydon’tyougouponstage.I’llgetapictureofyou

doingthespeech.

Ross:!

(Hegoesuponstage,mimeslikehe'sgivingthespeech,andChandler

r,beforehegetsdowneveryonestarts

clinkingtheirglassesforarealspeech.)

Ross:Willtheownerofa1995BuickLeSabreplea ethefrontdesk?

Yourcarisabouttobetowed.

AnxiousWeddingGuest:(rushingup)That’smycar!

Ross:A’95LeSabre?!

AnxiousWeddingGuest:Yes!

Ross:AgreenLeSabre?

AnxiousWeddingGuest:Yes!

Ross:I’msorry,ImeantablueLeSabre.

AnxiousWeddingGuest:Yes!Green-blue!

Ross:Wellgo!Gomoveit!(Herunsoff.)

Chandler:Okay,youreadyforthelastpicture?

Ross:Yeah.

Chandler:Getreadytorun.(Chandlerwalksovertothenewbride.)

Congratulationsonyourwedding.(Hegrabsher,kissesher,Rosstakes

thepicture,andtheybothrunout.)

[Scene:CentralPerk,continuedfromearlier.]

Tag:So,what’sthisabout?

Phoebe:Rachelhassomethingthatshewantstotellyouandumm,I

believethatthisisyourredsweater.

Tag:No.(Unzipshiscoat.)Thisismyredsweater.

Phoebe:getanyoneacoffeeor…poison?No?Justfor

me?Okay.(Walksaway.)

Tag:What’sgoingonRach?

Rachel:Nothing!’knowyoudowear

thatsweateralot,areyouinvolvedinsomekindofdare?

Tag:Y’know,I’mactuallygladPhoebecalled.(Hepullsoutastool

andRachelsitsdown.)IknowwebrokeupbecauseyouthoughtIwasn’t

matureenough,butI’vereallygrownupandthinkweshouldgetback

together.

Rachel:Oh,it’sjustnottherighttime.

Tag:Itistherighttime.(Takesherhand.)

Rachel:Okay.

Tag:I’mreadyformore.

Rachel:Tag…

Tag:ComeonRach,let’sgiveitanothertry.

Rachel:I’mhavingababy.

Tag:Oh.(Hedropsherhand.)

(Pause)

Rachel:Youcango.

Tag:Thankyou.(Getsupandhurriesout.)

[Scene:MonicaandChandler's,ObsessiveMonicahasfinishedopening

’sashamedofthis,atleast,becauseassomeone

菲比·芭菲，你能嫁给我吗？

噢，上帝啊.

乔依……

好，我嫁你.

你不能嫁给他.

喂，女士！你风光过了

现在轮到我了.

菲比……

什么？她为什么不能嫁给我?

我能嫁，而且我愿嫁。

她没怀孕.

是瑞秋.

怀孕的是瑞秋，明白了？

噢，天哪！

喂!

9个月后你不生孩子，

我想他会发现的

他是乔依.

我没法相信

瑞秋怀孕了?

啊哈.

是的.

好，那谁是孩子的爸爸?

我们不知道.

噢!

我琢磨着会不会是那个花花公子?

有个花花公子?

是.

是?是谁？

大约一个月以前，

那家伙跟瑞秋过了一夜l.

呃，我不知那是谁，但……

这事完了吗?

那家伙离开了.

噢，上帝。我知道孩子的爸爸是谁

说话不许只讲一半！

嗯，打搅一下.

请帮我们拍张照片，好吗?

噢，当然.

呃，能给我们拍一张吗?

嗯，没问题.

按.

它没响.

我听到它响了。

听到了？

我听到了。

但是没闪光.

你为什么不拍?

噢，我马上拍,

我会给你们拍照片的.

唔，你的手指盖住镜头了.

enters…]

Monica:(throwingupthelastpresent)Idon’tknowhowanyofthese

gotopened?!

Joey:(entering)Youopenedthemall?

Monica:Iknow!Iknow!Iamaterribleperson!Imean,Chandleris

nevergoingtotrustmewithanythingeveragain!

Joey:Ohhey!Yougotmyparent’sgift!(Holdsitup.)

Monica:that?

Joey:Well,Idon’itdoessomethingtosalami.

(PhoebeandRachelenter.)

Monica:Hey!How’ditgo?

Joey:-whatdidTagsay?

Rachel:Tagisnotthefather!AndJoeyknowsnow?

Joey:,andIsohappyforyou.(Theyhug.)

Rachel:Ohwow,youdidn’teventrytounhookmybra!

Monica:Soareyouevergonnatellwhoeveritis?

Rachel:No,Iwill.I’mjustnotupforittonight.

Joey:HeyRachlisten,nomatterwhatthisguysaysIwantyoutoknow

you’renotgonnabealoneinthis.

Rachel:I’mnot?

Joey:ListenIuh…(Hetakesherhand.)It’sascaryworldoutthere

especiallyifyou’reasinglemom.Y’know,Ialwaysfeltlikeyou

andIhavethis-thisspecialbond.Y’know?So,(getsdownononeknee

again)RachelGreenwillyoumarryme?

Rachel:What?

Monica:What?!

Phoebe:What?!!

Joey:Pheebs,givemetheringback!

Phoebe:No!!

Rachel:No!Joey,ohyou’’reso-sosweet,honey.

ButI’mnot,I’mnotlookingforahusband.

Joey:(heartbroken)Iunderstand.

Rachel:Now,ifyouwillexcusemeIamgoingtogoandliedown.

(Exits.)

Phoebe:Ican’tsaythatdidn’’lltakeyoubackJoey

Tribbiani.

Joey:,ffered…

Phoebe:Ooh!ASalamiBuddy!

Joey:Thereyougo!

(ChandlerandRossenterwiththenewpictures.)

Chandler:We’reback!

Monica:Great!We’rehangin’inthekitchen!(Shedragshiminto

thekitchenandturnshisbacktothelivingroom)Let’sstayinthe

kitchen!

Chandler:It’spicturetime.

Ross:Nowyouaregoingtolovethese.

Chandler:(showingherthepictures)Here’sapictureofRoss.(Shows

anotherone.)Andthat’sme.(Anotherone.)Andthat’smeandRoss.

(Anotherone.)Oh-ho,thatisapictureofourfirstkissasamarried

couple.

Monica:Wow!Thatisagreatpicture!

你当你是谁？安塞尔·亚当斯（名摄影

师）?!

出去!

抱歉以前给你心理压力

所以，我打电话给孩子的父亲，

让他来见你，你告诉他

走.

等，喂，等等.

菲比，你怎么知道那孩子的爸爸是谁?

我也许有时干傻事，但是……

别只把我当成个大屁股的金发美女

我想这毛衣是孩子的爸爸的

噢，上帝。

噢，他现在在那吗?

嗯.

现在，你要么放弃，要么去撕开邦迪

你想干什么?

唔……

撕开它

真的？你肯定?

噢，菲比.

嗯，对不起.

嗨，瑞秋

你为什么不到讲台上?

我给你拍张演讲的照片.

好的，好的。

那辆95年别克房车的车主在吗？

请到柜台处

你的车要被拖走了.

那是我的车.

一辆95年的房车？

是的.

是辆绿色的?

是的

噢，抱歉，我是说蓝色的.

是，蓝绿色.

好的，走吧.

去把它开走!

好的。准备好拍压轴照片了吗?

行了。

准备好发动了.

祝贺你们结婚.

干什么？

瑞秋有些事想告诉你

嗯，我想这是你那件红色羊毛衫。

不

这是我的红色羊毛衫.

噢，不.

你们谁要咖啡，或者……？

毒药？不？就给我？

好的.

Chandler:Eh?

Monica:Yeah!OhandinterestingbecauseIfoundthecamerasinone

ofourbags!(Throwsthemintohischest.)

Ross:Huh,didn’tseethatcoming.

Chandler:Okay,sothisisn’tapictureofourfirst,butitisa

pictureofmyfirstkisswith…ythelookon

yourfaceI’msureyou’n’tneed—(Ripsthe

picture)—There’utItakethe

realpicturesandgetthemdevelopedrightnow.

Monica:Thatwouldbeagoodidea.

Chandler:Okay.(Seesthelivingroom.)Youopenedallthepresents

withoutme?!Ithoughtweweresupposedtodothattogether!

Monica:Youkissedanotherwoman!

Chandler:Calliteven?!

Monica:Okay!(Theyhigh-fiveandhewalksout.)

Ross:Well,I’mgonnagogetthese(thefloralbouquethewalkedin

with)insomewater.

Phoebe:Waityoustolethosefromthesepeople’swedding?

Ross:No-no,,theythinkthey

canchargemeforsomedirtymovieandabagofMashuganuts,they

gotanotherthinkcoming.(Startstoleave.)Hey!Mysweater!I’ve

beenlookingforthisforlikeamonth!

(HeexitsleavingastunnedPhoebeandMonica.)

MonicaandPhoebe:OhmyGod!!

Joey:(slowontheuptake)OhmyGod!

ClosingCredits

[Scene:AStreet,RosswalkspastTagwearingthesameredsweater.]

Ross:Hey!Howyoudoing?

Tag:Good!Good,longtimenosee.

Ross:Yeah.

Tag:Likeyoursweater.

Ross:Ohhey,rightbackatya.

Tag:Oh,it’scrazyaboutRachelhuh?

Ross:—Well,she’sonecrazylady?

Tag:Sowhoseisit?

Ross:(showsTaghissweatertag)Umm,Idon’

on,later.

Tag:Okay.

(Theyseparate.)

Ross:Heissoweird.

End

然后呢，瑞秋?

没什么.

菲比犯了点小错.

但是，你经常穿那件毛衣。

所以被卷入这场误会

菲比打来电话，我很高兴

我们分手是因为，

你认为我不够成熟。

但是我长大了，

我们应该重修旧好

噢，不是时候

是时候了.

嗯。

我还有进一步的准备

Tag……

瑞秋，再给我一次机会

我有孩子了。

噢！

你可以走了.

谢谢你.

我不知道这里头有多少打开过了

你全都打开了?

我知道！我很糟糕

钱德不会再相信我了

噢，嗨，你拿了我父母的礼物

嗯，那是什么?

我不知道。大概是某种意大利腊肠

喂，它们放在哪?

嗯，Tag在哪？

Tag不是父亲.

乔依现在知道了吗?

瑞秋，我为你感到高兴

哇噢，你甚至不打算解下我胸罩.

你打算告诉我们谁是父亲吗?

是的，我会说.

只是不打算在今晚

嘿，瑞秋，不管那家伙说什么

我想让你知道，在这世上，

你不孤独

我不是吗?

不.

听着，我，嗯……

世道凶险

尤其对单身妈妈来说。.

啊，乔依……

嗯,我总是觉得你和我之间，

有一种特殊的纽带,你知道？

因此，瑞秋·格林，

你愿意嫁给我吗？

啊?

什么?

什么?!

菲比，把戒指还给我.

不!

乔依，噢，你真可爱.

你真太可爱了，甜心.

但是我不需要一个丈夫.

我知道.

如果你不介意，我得去躺会了.

我受伤了

但是我会还给你的，乔依·崔白尼

嗯，是的，听我说，菲比，关于那个

噢，是.意大利腊肠!朋友！

成了.

我们回来了.

太好了！你在厨房

我们就待在厨房.

欣赏照片时间.

你会喜欢它们的.

这个是罗斯的照片……

那是我

我和罗斯.

噢，这是我们成为夫妻后的初吻

喔，棒极了，这张照片

嗯?

是的.

而且还很有趣，

我在我们的一个包里发现了相机

真没想到

嗯，所以那不是我们婚后的第一个吻

而是我跟这位小姐的第一个吻

从你脸上我能看出你会记得的，

所以我们不需要它了……

没必要保留……不如我们……

现在来拍点真正的照片，

再马上把它们冲印出来，你看怎样?

这是个好主意.

好的.

我不在时，你打开了所有的礼物?

我以为我们该一起拆礼物

你吻了另一个女人？

扯平？

好吧.

嗯，我要去把这些放在水里.

你从别人的婚礼上偷东西?

不，我从酒店大堂里拿的.

他们想让我为莫须有的

色情电影和一袋Meshuganuts付钱

得给他们点教训

啊，我的羊毛衫.

我已经找它找了一个月了

噢，上帝!

噢，上帝!

噢，上帝!

嗨，你过得怎样?

很好，很好。

好久不见了。

是呀。

我喜欢你的羊毛衫；

噢，嗨，你穿着正好。

瑞秋真疯狂，是吗?

呃，是的，她是个疯狂的女人。

那么，是谁的?

不清楚，某个意大利牌子？

得了，看看你自己衣服上的牌子好了

再见.

好的.

他真古怪.

803TheOneWhereRachelTells…

803TheOneWhereRachelTells…

[Scene:MonicaandChandler's,MonicaandChandleraregettingready

isenteringfromthebedroom.]

Chandler:Hey!Babe!Aren’tyouexcitedwe’regoingonour

honeymoon?

Monica:YeahIam!

Chandler:(singing)Bermuda,Bahama,comeonprettymama…

Monica:That’utofyoursystemwhilewe’realone.

Joey:(enteringwithPhoebe)Hey!

Phoebe:Yeah!Haveagreathoneymoon!

Chandler:I’dbettergopack.

Monica:Ohno,ythingIcouldn’tfindthough

wasyourSpeedo.

(Joeylooksathim,Phoebetriesnottosmile,andChandleris

shocked.)

Chandler:ASpeedo?Uh,Idon’thaveaSpeedo.I’mgonnagopack

myregularlongbathingsuit.(Goesintothebedroom.)

Rachel:(entering)Ohgoodyou’restillhere!

Monica:Hey!

Rachel:Iwanttotellyoutohaveagoodhoneymoon!(HugsMonica.)

Monica:Thankyou.

Rachel:AndIalsowantedyouguystoknowthatIamtellingthefather

today.(Theyalllookatherexpectantly)What?What?What?

(Pause.)

Joey:WeknowitsRoss!

Rachel:How?!Howdoyouknow?

Phoebe:Itwashissweater,but—OhmyGod!

Rachel:Oh,IsowantedRosstoknowfirst,butI’msorelievedyou

guysknow.

803瑞秋告诉了罗斯

嘿，亲爱的，你高兴吗？

我们要去蜜月旅行了。

是的，我高兴。

百慕大群岛,巴哈马群岛,

来吧,美丽的妈妈。

好吧,当我们单独在一起时忘记它.

嘿。

我们是来说再见的.

蜜月旅行愉快.

谢谢.

我最好去整理行李.

哦，不.我已经整理好了.

唯一我没找到的是你的性感泳裤。

性感泳裤?

我才没有.

我去把泳装带上.

哦，太好了，你还在.

我想对你说，蜜月旅行愉快.

哦，谢谢.

我还想让你们知道，

我今天将告诉孩子的父亲.

什么？什么？什么？

我们知道他是罗斯。

啊?

你们怎么知道的?

那是他的毛线衣.

但，哦，我的上帝!

Monica:Thisissogreat!AndI’mgonnabeyourbaby’saunt!

Rachel:Iknow!(Theyhug.)

Phoebe:Metoo!(Joinsthehug.)

Joey:I’mgonnabeanuncle!Comehere!(Hejoinsthehug.)

Rachel:(breakingthehug)You’reallgonnabeauntsanduncles.

Monica:Yeah,butI’mtheonlyonerelatedbyblood.

Rachel:!Sonowthatyouguysallknowyoucanhelpme.

GivemesomeadviceonhowI’mgonnatellRoss!

Monica:Well,whatwereyougonnasay?

Rachel:WellIwasgonnatellhimthatI’m-I’mgonnahavethebaby

andhecanbeasinvolvedashewants.

Joey:Wellthat,thatsoundsgood.

Rachel:YeahbuthowdoIstart?Imean,what’s-what’sthefirst

thingthatIsay?(Theyallpausetothink.)Okaygreat!Thanks.(She

startstoleave.)

Monica:Hey!Goodluck!

Phoebe:Yeah,bye.

Joey:Bye.

(Rachelexits.)

Chandler:(entering)Hey,whatwasthatallabout?

Monica:WellIguessthereisnoharmintellingyounow,Racheland

Rossaregonnahaveababy.

Chandler:(inahighpitchedvoice)What?!Ididn’tevenknow

that—Whydidn’tyoutellme?!(Pause)WhyamItalkinglikethis?!

Monica:Ididn’tthinkyoucouldkeepitasecret.

Chandler:(inthehighpitchedvoice)What?!(Normalvoice)Iaman

eptallofoursecrets.

Joey:Whatsecrets?

Chandler:Ohno-noJoey,IamnotgoingtotellyoubecauseIaman

excellentsecretkeeper.

(Thegirlswalkaway.)

Joey:(whisperingtoChandler)You’lltellmelater?

Chandler:Youalreadyknow.

OpeningCredits

[Scene:JoeyandRachel's,JoeyandPhoebeareentering.]

Phoebe:Oh,it'ssoromantictosendpeopleoffontheirhoneymoon.

Joey:Y’know,dRachelare

ouandIshoulddosomething.

Phoebe:t!Ileft

ucanletmeinlater.

Joey:Idon’thaveakey,theytookminetogivetoyou.

Phoebe:What?!Theytookminetogivetoyou!

Joey:Whywouldtheytakeawayourkeys?

Phoebe:Maybetheydon’ttrustus.

Joey:Nothat’tmekeepmykeythelasttimethey

wereoutoftown.

Phoebe:Youmeanthetimeyoubroketheketchupbottleandcleaned

itupwithMonica’sguesttowels?

Joey:Hey,Iwashedthose!

Phoebe:Noyoudidn’t.

Joey:Yeahthatdidn’tsoundlikeme.

喔，我是想让罗斯第一个知道。

但你们先知道了也让我放心了。

我将成为你孩子的阿姨，

那太好了！

我也是。

我将是叔叔。

到这来。

我们都将成为阿姨和叔叔。

是啊，但我是唯一有血缘关系的人。

好的，太棒了。

现在你们都知道了,

你们要帮助我。

教我如何告诉罗斯.

好吧，你将说什么呢?

我要告诉他，我将生个孩子。

如果他愿意，他可以和我一起.

听上去不错.

是啊，但你说，我如何开头呢?

我是说，我一开始怎么说?

Okay,太棒了，谢谢.

嘿，祝你好运.

好的，再见.

嘿，到底怎么了?

好，

我想现在可以告诉你发生了什么.

瑞秋和罗斯将生一个孩子.

什么?!

我竟然一点也不知道...

你为什么不告诉我?

为什么我怎么说?

我想你不能保密.

什么?!

我是个保密专家.

我保守了所有我们的秘密。

什么秘密?

OH,不，不，乔伊.

我不告诉你，因为我是保密专家.

Psst.你等会儿告诉我.

你已经知道了.

Oh,送他们去蜜月旅行太浪漫了.

莫妮卡和钱德结婚了.

罗斯和瑞秋将有一个孩子.

可能你和我也需要做点什么.

多美好啊，亲爱的.

多美好啊.

Oh,我把我的吉他留在公寓里了.

好吧，你等会能让我进去是吧?

不行，我没有钥匙.

他们把我的拿去给你了.

什么？他们把我的拿去给你了.

为什么他们拿走我们的钥匙?

Phoebe:Well,whatamIgonnado?Ireallyneedmyguitar!

Joey:Yeah,Ihavestuffintheretoo.

Phoebe:Whatstuff?

Joey:Monica’schickenparm!I’lltakecareofit.(Hepicksupthe

phone)r,it’,Ineedtoget

intoMonicaandChandler’’sanemergency.(Listens)

Uhh,gasleak!Yeahoh,andbringgarlicbread.(Hangsup.)

Ross:(entering)Hey!

Phoebe:DidRachelfindyou?

Ross:Nowhy?

Phoebe:Ohshewaslookingforyou.

Ross:Ohwell,IguessI’llcatchupwithherlater.

Phoebe:Well,shereallywantedtotalktoyounow.

Joey:Yeah,itseemedprettyimportant.

Ross:Ohno.

Phoebe:What?

Ross:IthinkImightknowwhatthisisabout.

(PhoebeandJoeytradelooks)

Joey:Really?

Ross:,uhwepromisedweweren’tgonnatellanybodythis

butuh,aboutamonthagoRachelandIslepttogether.

Phoebe:(deadpan)And?

Ross:Wow!Ithoughtyouwouldbealittlemoreshocked.

Phoebe:Ohsorry.(Shocked)And?!

Ross:Well,we-wesaidwe’djustdoitthatonetimebut,butnow

Ithinkshemaywannastartthingsupagain.

Joey:Yeah,Idon’tthinkthat’swhatitis.

Ross:Why?What-whatelsecoulditbe?

Joey:Ohwow,Idon’tfeelwell.

Ross:I’mtellingyou.I’’er

n’tsay

anythingtoyou?

Phoebe:(ToJoey)Maybeit’ssomethingyouate?

Joey:Please,just-just,justgoandtalktoRachel.

Ross:Yeah,IguessIshould.(Startstoleave.)Man,y’knowwhat

Ihavetorealize?MaybeI’mjustnotthetypeofguywomencanhave

justonenightwith.Y’know,they-theyalwaysseemtowantalittle

drememberthat.(Hepausesandthenexits.)

[Scene:TheAirportTicketCounter,MonicaandChandlerarestanding

inlinebehindanothercouplekissingwhoarenextinlinetobe

served.]

TicketAgent:Next?

(Thekissingcoupledoesn’tmove.)

Monica:They’rekissinglet’sjustgoaroundthem.

Chandler:Ohhoney,leavethemalone,they’reinlove.

Monica:I’minlovetoo!Butinanorderlyfashion.

TicketAgent:Next?

Monica:(tothecouple)Hi!Canyoudothatandwalk?‘Causeshesaid,

"Next."

(Thecouplemovesuptothecounter.)

Woman:’thearyou;we’reonourhoneymoon.

可能他们不相信我们.

不可能.

他们上次外出时，给了我们钥匙的.

你是说你打碎番茄酱瓶子的那次？

然后你用莫妮卡的毛巾来收拾的?

嘿，我都洗干净了.

你没有.

是啊，那不像我的作为.

好吧，我该怎么办?

我需要我的吉他.

是啊，我也有些东西在里面.

什么东西?

莫妮卡的小鸡...

我将照料它们.

Hey,Treeger先生,

我是JoeyTribbiani.

听着，

我需要进莫妮卡和钱德的公寓。

这是紧急事件.

煤气泄漏了.

是啊，带来了大蒜面包.

Hey

Hey

瑞秋找过你吗?

没有，什么了?

Oh,她正在找你.

Oh,好吧，我想我待会会看到她的.

她现在很想和你谈谈.

是啊，看上去很重要.

Oh,不.

什么?

我想我应该怎么

那是关于什么的.

真的?

是啊,uh...

我们保证没有告诉过如何人，

但,uh...

一个月以前,

瑞秋和我一起睡觉了.

然后呢？

Wow,我想，你们有些吃惊吧.

Oh,对不起.

然后呢?

好吧，我们说只发生一次,

但我想她还想来一次吧.

是啊，但我想并不是那样.

什么，那会是什么?

Oh,wow,我感觉不好.

不，我告诉你吧,

我告诉你发生了什么吧.

不奇怪，

TicketAgent:Oh,letmeseewhatIcando.(Checksthecomputer)There

aresomefirstclassseatsavailable.

Monica:(ToChandler)Didyouhearthat?!Theybumpedthemuptofirst

classbecausetheyareontheirhoneymoon!Comeon!Let’sactlike

we’reonourhoneymoon.

Chandler:Weareonourhoneymoon.

Monica:Grabmyass!

TicketAgent:Next?

(Theygouptothecounter.)

Monica:Hi,tdidn’thearyou,becausey’knowI’m

’reonourhoneymoon.

TicketAgent:,u’llbein25Jand

u’llbein25K.

Monica:Ohno,youseewe’,canyoudo

yourlittlethingandbumpusuptofirstclass?

TicketAgent:I’msorry,

couplegotthelasttwo.

Monica:Yousee,ifwe’dgonearoundthemlikeIsaid,we—She

would’!

Chandler:25JandK,anychancethosearen’ttogether?

[Scene:JoeyandRachel's,PhoebeandJoeyareplayingRock‘em,Sock

‘emRobots.]

Joey:Istillcan’stmewith

yours.

Phoebe:OfcourseIdo!AndI’mgonnagiveitbacktoyouassoon

asthey’redonewithitatthekeyshiningplace.

(Theyhearaknockingsoundcomingfromthehallwayandgoto

investigate.)

Joey:Whatthehellisthat?

(rwatchingoneofNew

York’sbravestbreakdownMonicaandChandler’sdoorwithanax.]

Joey:Whoa!Whoa!Whoa!Treeger,whatareyoudoing?

r:Yousaidtherewasagasleakinhere.

Phoebe:Wellwhydon’tyouuseyourkey?

r:BecausebythetimeIfinditonthisthing(Holdsup

ahugekeyringwithathousandkeysonit),thewholeplacemight

happensatanotherbuildingthatImanage,

peoplearegonnastartaskingquestions.(Tothefireman)Comeon!

Hurryup.

(Withafinalswingthedoorgivesway.)

Phoebe:Oh!Wecouldhavedonethat.

[Scene:TheAirport,ChandlerandMonicaarefollowingtheprevious

couplethroughatinyhallwaythatprovesthisisasetonasound

stageandnotanactualairport,andseethementerthefirstclass

lounge.]

Monica:Lookatthat!Lookatthat!They’regoingintothefirstclass

lounge!Doyouknowwhattheyhaveinthere?

Chandler:No.

Monica:Meneither!Wehavetogetin!(Sherunsthroughthedoorwith

Chandlerintow.)

Chandler:Justactlikeyoubelong.

她在婚礼上看我的样子很有趣.

她什么也没对你说吗?

可能是你吃了什么.

请去和瑞秋谈谈吧.

好吧，我想我会的.

朋友...

你知道我意识到了什么?

可能我不是那种类型的男人,

女人只想和我一个晚上.

要知道，她们都想多要一点.

我应该记住.

然后.

他们在接吻.让我们绕开他们.

Oh,亲爱的，让他们独处.

他们相爱了.

我也恋爱了.

但是有计划的.

下一个.

Hi.你能这样做然后离开吗?

但她说了“下一个”

对不起.

我们没有听到.

我们在蜜月旅行.

Oh.

让我看看我能做些什么.

头等舱还有一些座位.

你听到吗?

他们让他们坐头等舱，

因为他们正在度蜜月.

来吧，我们装成我们在度蜜月吧.

我们是在度蜜月.

跟着我.

下一个.

Hi.对不起.

我没有听见，你知道?

我太爱我的新丈夫了.

我们在度蜜月.

恭喜.

谢谢.

先生，你将座25J

女士你将座25K.,

Uh,不，你知道，我们在度蜜月.

所以，

你能把我们的作为升为头等舱吗?

对不起，所有头等舱的作为都满了.

那对夫妇座了最后两个座位.

你看?

如果听我的，我们绕过他们，

她就能让我们坐头等舱.

该死.

25J和K.

Monica:OhmyGod!Oranges!

Chandler:Shh!(Totheguybehindthecounter)Nicetoseeyouagain.

(Theytriestowalkpasthim.)

AirlineEmployee:Uhsir,mayIseeyourticketsplease?

Chandler:Yes,ofcourse.(Showshimthetickets.)

AirlineEmployee:I’msorry,wouldyoumoveyourthumb?Ican’tsee

theseatnumber.

Chandler:Ohthat’sallright,’s1A.

AirlineEmployee:(grabbingtheticketfromhim)Sir,thisisnota

firstclassticket.I’msorry.

Chandler:us.(Theytrytoenteragain.)

AirlineEmployee:Sir!I’mafraidI’mgonnahavetoaskyoutoleave.

Monica:Fine.(Startstowalkawaythensherunsoverandgrabsan

orangebeforesheexits.)Go!Go!Go!

[Scene:TheHallwayOutsideRoss’sApartment,Rossiswalking

towardshisapartmentandseesRachelsittinginfrontofthedoor.]

Rachel:(seeinghim)Hi!

Ross:Hi.

Rachel:Hi.(Hehelpsherup.)Umm,Ithinkthere’ssomethingthat

wereallyneedtotalkabout.

Ross:(quietlyconfident)’twegoinside?(They

goinside.)Lookuh,Iknowwhyyou’rehere.

Rachel:Youdo?

Ross:Yeah,andtosaveyoufromanyembarrassmentumm,Ithinkmaybe

Ishouldtalkfirst.

Rachel:(warily)Okay.

Ross:Okay.(Hesitsherdowninachair.)Uh,

’sbeenoneheckofasee-sawhasn’tit?

Rachel:(confused)What?

Ross:Imeanlook,that-thatonenightwehadwasfunand…and

certainlypassionate,butdon’tyouthinkit’sbetterifwejust

stayedfriends?

Rachel:?!

Ross:.Y’knowwhat?Ifyouwantto,wecandoitonemore

’d-I’,Ihavesometime

rightnow.

Rachel:Okay,y’knowwhat?CanI,canItalknow?

Ross:Ohsure.(Hesitsontheapothecarytableandtouchesherhand.)

Rachel:(toucheshisknee)I’mpregnant.(Rossstops.)Ross?(Ross

isstaringoffintospace.)Ross?(Rossisstillfrozen)Okay,

wheneveryou’reready.(Sitsbackandopenshermagazine.)And

you’rethefatherbytheway—butyougotthat…

CommercialBreak

[Scene:Ross'sApartment,continuedfromearlier.]

Rachel:(closeshermagazine)CanIgetyousomewater?

Ross:I’mgood.I’mgood.

Rachel:Ross,?Imeanyoucanas

involvedasyouwant.(Rossnods.)

Ross:Yeah,Ineeduh…I’mjust—Idon’tknow—Idon’tunderstand,

umm,howthishappened?We-weusedacondom.

Rachel:,buty’knowcondomsonlyworklike97%ofthe

有可能不在一起吗?

我仍然不相信他们拿走了我的钥匙.

你确信我拿了你的.

当然.

我将把钥匙还给你.

那是什么?

Whoa,whoa,whoa.

Treeger,你在干什么?

听说这煤气泄漏了.

好吧，但为什么不用你的钥匙?

因为如果等我找到钥匙，

这个地方已经爆炸了.

如果发生在我管理的另一幢楼里，

人们已经提问了。

来，快一点。

Oh!

我们也该这么做的.

看那里，看那里

他们去了头等舱.

你知道他们在那里干什么?

不.

我也不，我们必须去那里.

装着像你是头等舱的.

Oh,上帝，桔子!

Shh!

很高兴再次看到你.

Uh,先生.

我能看一下您的票吗?

当然.

对不起，您能移开你的拇指吗?

我看不到座位号码.

没关系，我记得，是1A.

先生，这不是头等舱得票.

对不起.

接受道歉.

原谅我们.

先生,

恐怕，我只能让你们离开.

好的.

走吧!走吧!走吧!

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Um...

我想我们必须谈谈.

我想我们正在谈.

为什么我们不进去?

Okay.

看,uh...

我知道为什么你在这.

你知道?

time.

Ross:What?What?What?!!Welltheyshouldputthatonthebox!!!

Rachel:Theydo!

Ross:Notheydon’t!!!(Herunstothebedroomtocheckandreturns

withhisboxofcondoms.)Welltheyshouldputitinhugeblack

letters!!!!

Rachel:OkayRosscomeonlet’sjustforgetaboutthecondoms.

Ross:OhwellImayaswellhave!

Rachel:Listen,y’knowwhat?IwasreallyfreakedouttoowhenIfound

out…

Ross:Freakedout?Heyno,I’mnotfreakedout!I’mindignant!As

aconsumer!

Rachel:Y’knowwhat?Let’s,let’stalklater.

Ross:No!No!Iwanttotalknow!Okay?I—Infact,(picksupthephone)

Iamgoingtotalktothepresidentofthecondomcompany!

Rachel:Okay,y’knowmaybeIshouldcomeback…(Startstoleave.)

Ross:(grabsher)Shh!Shh!Shh!

Rachel:(stops)Okay.

Ross:(onphone)YeahI’llpress1!(PressesonewhichallowsRachel

toescape.)

[Scene:MonicaandChandler's,rhasfinishedinspecting

MonicaandChandler’sapartment.]

r:I’’snogasleak.

Joey:(eating)Icanheatthisup?(Goesanddoesso.)

r:Anywayuh,I’llgetmovingonthatnewdoor.

Phoebe:Ohgreat!Andlisten,couldyoudousafavorandnottell

ChandlerandMonicaaboutthis?‘Causey’knowumm,theydon’t-they

don’thaveanykidsoftheirownand-andthisdoorwaslikeachild

tothem.

r:WellI’mgonnahavetoputonanewlock,they’llfind

outanyway.

Phoebe:Ohno.

r:(measuresthetopofthedoorframe)Whoa!Thislookslike

analldayjob,I’llhavetocancelmyyogaclass.(Rosswalksup.)

HeyRoss!

Ross:Hi.

r:CouldyoutellJasminethatIwon'tmakeittoyogaclass

today?

Ross:Sure.

r:Namaste.(Bows.)

Ross:Namaste.(Bows.)

(TreegerleavesandRossnoticesthedoor.)

Ross:OhmyGod!Whathappenedtothedoor?!

Joey:Soit’snoticeablehuh?

Ross:Look,isRachelhere?Ireallyneedtotalktoher.

Phoebe:Didn’tyoutwoalreadytalk?

Ross:Yeahbutuh…Okay,okaylookyouguysknowthatRachelandI

slepttogether,butthere’ssomethingelse.(Pause)Rachel’s

pregnant.

Joey:(simultaneously)OhmyGod!!!Ican’tbelievethat!!

Phoebe:(simultaneously)HolymotherofGod!!!

是啊.

把你从困难中解救出来

我想我们应该先谈谈.

Okay?

Okay

罗斯和瑞秋...

罗斯和瑞秋...

那就像秋千,是吗?

什么?

我说，看那里...

那晚我们很开心，也很有激情.

不过你不认为我们是朋友会更好吗?

认真一点，什么?

Okay,okay.

你知道什么?

如果你想要...

我们可以再来一次.

我的意识是我可以.

事实上，我现在正好有时间.

Okay,罗斯.

你知道什么?

我现在能说吗?

Oh,当然.

Okay.

我怀孕了.

罗斯?

罗斯?

Okay.

无论你是否准备好.

你将成为父亲.

但你走了.

你需要一些水吗?

不，我很好，我很好.

罗斯，对你没有压力，是吗?

我的意思是如果你愿意.

是,我,uh...

我真的不知道.

我不懂um...

这是怎么发生的.

我们用了避孕套.

我知道,

但你知道，避孕套的有效率是,

97%.

什，什么?

什么?!

好吧，他们应该把这印在盒子上!

他们做了.

不他们没有!

好吧，他们应该用大写字母来印!

Okay,罗斯，来吧.

让我们忘记避孕套.

Ross:Withmychild.

Phoebe:Thatisbrandnewinformation!!

Ross:Youalreadyknowdon’tyou?

Phoebe:Alittlebit.

Joey:Howareyoudoing?

Ross:’’sjustIdon’tthinkI

handleditverywell.

Joey:Well,whatdidyousaytoher?

Ross:complaintdepartmentatthecondomcompanygot

nwhenIturnedaroundshewasgone.

Phoebe:OhRoss.

Ross:Buthey,inmydefenseI-Ijustfoundoutcondomsarelikeonly

97%effective.

Joey:(shocked)What?

Ross:Igottagofindher.

Joey:Whoa!Hey!Whoa!!Holdup!Areyouserious?!Solike3%ofthe

timetheydon’tevenwork?!Huh?Theyshouldputthatonthebox!

Ross:Evidentlytheydo.

Joey:What?!(Grabshiscondomsfromhispocketandlooks.)

[Scene:TheAtlantisResort,ChandlerandMonicaarearrivingtocheck

in,butarebehindthecouplefrombeforeagain.]

Monica:Ican’tbelievewe’rehere.

Chandler:Ohyou’vegottobekiddingme.

Monica:What?(Monicaseesthefirstcoupleandgasps.)

FrontDeskClerk:Asaweddinggifttoyou,thehotelwouldliketo

giveyouthehoneymoonsuite.

Monica:No!!Youhavebeenscrewingusallday!

Man:Whoareyou?

Chandler:We’reyoujusttensecondslater!

Monica:Yeah!Youalreadygotthefirstclasstickets;yougotthe

lounge!Imeanweshouldgetfreestufftoo!Imeanyou’renotthe

onlyonesonyourhoneymoon!

Woman:’tcareabout

’’t

wanttobetogether.

Chandler:(looksatMonicathenatthem)Weneedthestuff.

[Scene:MonicaandChandler's,JoeyisonthephoneandPhoebeis

watchinghim.]

Joey:HeyMonicait’uh,PhoebeandIsmellgascomin’

fromyourapartment.

Monica:What?Areyouserious?!(ToChandler)Joeysmellsgas!

Chandler:Whatelseisnew?

Joey:Yeahandwe’dgocheckitout,butyoutookawayourkeys.

Monica:Welldosomething!Getinthere!

Joey:How?IguessIcouldbreakdownyourdoor.

Monica:Yeah!Dothat!

Joey:And-andyouwon’tblameusforanydamage?(GivesPhoebea

thumbsup.)

Monica:No!(Pause)Areyoudoingit?!Idon’thearanything!Come

on!

Joey:Uh,okayI’ll-I’ll-I’llbreakitdown.(Hehandsthephone

Oh,好吧,我可以!,

听着，你知道吗?当我发现...，

我非常反常。

反常，嘿，我没有

我非常愤怒

作为一个消费者.

你知道吗，我们待会儿谈吧.

不，不，我们现在谈，好吗?

事实上，我想和避孕套公司的

总裁谈一谈.

Okay,你知道吗?

我会回来的.

Shh.

Okay.

好吧，我会按“1”!

我看了所有地方.

没有煤气泄漏。

Huh.

那我能把这加热吗?

无论怎样，我将移动那扇新门.

好的，你能帮我个忙吗？

不要告诉莫妮卡和钱德发生的一切

因为，你知道，他们现在还没孩子

这门就像他们的孩子。

好吧，我将配一把新锁.

他们肯定会发现的.

Oh,不.

这看来要花一天.

我只能取消我的瑜伽课了.

Hey,罗斯.

Hey.

你能告诉Jasmine我今天不去上瑜伽课

吗?

当然.

Namaste（你好）.

Namaste（你好）.

Oh,我的上帝，这是怎么了?

那是显而易见的,huh?

好吧，瑞秋在吗，我们要谈谈.,

你们不是已经谈过了吗?

是的，但...

Okay,okay,看--

你们知道瑞秋和我一起睡觉了，还有

瑞秋怀孕了.

上帝啊，神圣的母亲!

Oh,上帝，我不敢相信!

是我的孩子.

这是最新的消息!

你们已经知道了，是吗?

一点点.

你怎么样?

toPhoebe,getsup,picksupachair,andstartsbangingitonthe

floor.)

Phoebe:Ohheyhi,he’’sbreakingdownthedoor.(The

chairbreaksinhalf.)Okay,we’rein.(Shehangsupthephone.)

[Scene:Adoctor’soffice,Rachelisonanexaminingtablewithher

legsinthestirrups.]

Nurse:OkayRachel,areyoucomfortable?

Rachel:(sighs)IfIsaidIwas,wouldyoujudgeme?

Nurse:Thedoctorwillbehereinaminutetodoyoursonogram.

Rachel:Okay.(Thenurseexits.)Ohman,Isweariftheysoldthese

atPotteryBarn…

(There’saknockonthedoorandRossenters.)

Ross:Hi!

Rachel:(shocked)Hi!

Ross:Uhwe-weneedtotalk.

Rachel:Uh-uh-uh,rightnow?BecauseI’vekindagotanelfresco

situationgoingonoverhere.

Ross:Please,pleaseIwanttoapologizeforthewayIactedearlier

today.

Rachel:OkayRossthat’sfine,butcanyoupleasestandnearmyhead?

Ross:What?Ohyeah.(Hemovesnexttoherhead.)I’

wasthinkingaboutmyself

whenI(WanderstowardsRachel’sfeet)really—Ishouldhavebeen

thinkingaboutyouRach…

Rachel:ss!HeadRoss!HeadRoss!

Ross:Right!Right!Ijust—IwantyoutoknowthatI’mgoingtobe

therethroughthiswholething,okay?Okay?Thedoctor’s

appointments,theuh,theLamazeclasses,uhbaby-proofingthe

apartment—Althoughwecouldprobablyworryaboutthat‘tilafter

wegetmarried.

Rachel:Whatmarried?

Ross:Wellyeah,Ithinkweshouldgetmarried.

Rachel:What,becausethat’syouranswertoeverything?

Ross:No,becausethat’stherightthingtodo.

Rachel:Yeah,maybeifyou’s,wearenotinlove,

arewe?

Ross:Nobut…butstillyoucan’tpossiblydothisalone.

Rachel:Excuseme?

Ross:ComeonRach,youcan’teveneataloneinarestaurant.

Rachel:What?!

Ross:I’mjustsayingifyoucan’teatbyyourself,howdoyouexpect

tohaveababybyyourself?

Rachel:Icantooeatbymyself!

Ross:Whenhaveyouever?

Rachel:WhencertainpeopleleavethetableandIamnotfinished!

Ross:Wellcertainotherpeopletaketwohourstoeatabowlofsoup!

Rachel:Ohplease,youinhaleyourfood!

Ross:IgrewupwithMonica!Ifyoudidn’teatfastyoudidn’teat!!

:(entering)AmIinterrupting?

Rachel:,Ross,heisthefather.

Ross:Butnotthehusband,becauseevidentlyshecandothisalone.

Okay,okay.我会没事的.

只是我想我不能处理的非常好.

你怎么对她说的?

没有.

但避孕套公司给了我吃惊的回答.

但我回去的时候，她不在了.

Oh,罗斯.

但，我想避孕套有效率是

97%.

什么?

我要去找她。

Whoa,hey,等等!

你是认真的吗?

所以，3％的时候不起作用?

Huh?他们应该把它印在盒子上!

他们这样做了.

什么?

我不能相信我们在这.

Oh,你想和我开玩笑.

什么?

酒店将给你蜜月套房做为结婚礼物。

不，你已经一天了

你是谁?

我们是你,

等10秒钟!

你已经得到一等舱的票子,

你得到了长沙发，和免费食物!

不仅你们两在都蜜月!

如果愿意，你们可以得到套房.

我们不在乎住在哪里.

我们在这庆祝我们的爱.

我们不需要免费食物.

我们仅需要在一起.

我们需要食物.

Hey,莫妮卡,那是乔伊.

听着，

Phobe和我发现你们公寓煤气泄漏了.

什么，你们是认真的?

乔伊闻到了煤气味.

然后呢?

我们就来检查，

但你们拿走了我们的钥匙.

我们做了一些事

就进来了!

怎么进来的?

我想我可以砸了你的门.

是啊，做吧！

我们搞坏了门，你不怪我们?

不!

你现在在干!

快，我没听见任何声音。

:meetyou.I’llgetstartedonthis.

Ross:(ToRachel,standingbyherfeet)Idon’tknowwhyyoucan’t

admitthatyouneedme.

Rachel:Idoneedyou!Ineedyoutostandnearmyhead!

:Okay,isonthescreen.(We

seeRossandRachellookingatthescreen.)

righthereisyourbaby.

Ross:OhmyGod.

Rachel:tis,Iseeit.

:Congratulations.I’llgiveyoutwoaminute.

Rachel:Okay.

Ross:Thankyou.

(itsandRachelstartstocry.)

Ross:Prettyamazinghuh?

Rachel:Idon’tseeit!

Ross:What?What?!

Rachel:Ican’tseeit!

Ross:You-youjustsaidthatyoudid!

Rachel:Iknow,Ilied!Ididn’twanthertothinkIwasaterrible

mother!Ican’tevenseemyownbaby!

Ross:Ohsure,comehere!(Sitsherup)Sureyoucan!Uh,lookcome

herelook,(rollsthemachinecloser)it’s-it’s-it’s,it’sright

there(Points).

Rachel:,it’now.

Ross:Doyoureally?

Rachel:No,Idon’tseeit!

Ross:Comeon!Comeon!Here,okay-okay,youseethis?(Points)This

tinythingthatlookslikeapeanut?

Rachel:Yeah.

Ross:Sweetiethat’sit.

Rachel:That’sit?WellIsawthat!Ohh-ohh-oh,thankyou.

Ross:You’rewelcome.

Rachel:Wow!Ican’tbelievethat’sourbaby.

Ross:Yeah,that’sourbaby.

ClosingCredits

[Scene:JoeyandRachel's,JoeyandPhoebearethereasRacheland

Rossreturnfromthedoctor’sappointment.]

Rachel:Hi.

Joey:Hey!

Phoebe:Hey!Sohowwasthedoctor?

Rachel:Oh,everythingwentgreat.

Phoebe:Good.

Ross:Ohhey,showthemthepictureofyouruterus.

(Shedoesso.)

Phoebe:Oh.

Joey:Idon’sit?

Rachel:Ohno,IknowIcouldn’tseeiteitheratfirst,butit’s

rightumm…(Startstocry)Ross,Ilostitagain.

Ross:Oh.(Hetakesthepictureandhugsher.

End

Uh,okay,我会砸了它.,

Okay,hi,他正在做.

他正在砸门.

Okay我们已经进来了.

Okay,瑞秋，你还好吗？

如果我说好了，你能帮我看病吗？

医生马上就来.

Okay.

Oh,朋友，我发誓他们已经卖了...

Hi.

Hi.

我们需要谈谈.

现在吗?

因为我现在处境尴尬

请，我真的

对我今天的表现说抱歉.

Okay,罗斯，没事，

你能靠近一些吗?

什么,oh,好的,对不起.

我想我有一点疯了.

我只想我自己,

但我应该想的是你.

头,罗斯,头,罗斯,头,罗斯.

好,好.

我只想告诉你，我会

和你在一起,okay,okay?

看医生

助产课,婴儿看护--,

虽然在结婚前有些麻烦.

结婚?

是的，我想我们应该结婚.

什么，那就是你对整件事的答案?

不，因为那是正确的事.

Yeah,可能，如果你恋爱了.

但，罗斯，我们不相爱，是吗?

不，但...

但，我们不能单独面对.,

原谅我?

来吧，瑞秋.你不能独自在饭店吃饭。

什么?

我刚说，如果你不能一个人吃饭

你怎么能一个人抚养孩子?

我当然能一个人吃饭.

什么时候?

当有些人离开了桌子，

但我还没吃好.

好吧，那些人花2小时喝一碗汤.

Oh,请,你吸入你的食物.

我和莫妮卡一起长大.

如果你吃的不快，你就不吃!

我打扰你们了吗?

Oh,没有,医生请进.

他是罗斯.

他就是父亲.

但显然不是丈夫,

她能一个人完成。

Oh,很高兴见到你.

我马上开始.

我不知道你为什么不承认

你需要我.

我需要你!

我需要你在我的头边。

Okay,一切都很好.

在屏幕上.

这是她的子宫和

这里你们的孩子.

Oh,我的上帝.

Wow.

那是，我看见了.

恭喜.

我给你们一分钟.

Okay.

谢谢.

令人吃惊吧?

我没看见!

什么?什么?

我没看见!

你，你刚说你看见了.

我知道，我说慌了.

我不想让他认为我是个糟糕的母亲。

我不能看见我的孩子!,

Oh,来这里.

你肯定可以.

来这里，看.

就在这里.

Oh.

Oh,太美了.

我现在看见了.

真的吗?

不，我看不见!

Okay,来,来.

Okay,okay,你看这-

这看上去想花生?

是的.

亲爱的，那就是.

那就是?

是，我看见了!

Oh!!!!

Oh,谢谢.

不用.

Wow.

我不能相信那就是我们的孩子.

是的，那是我们的孩子.

Hi.

Hey.

Hey.

医生怎么说?

一些都很好.

好.

Hey,让他们看看你子宫的照片.

Oh.

我没看见孩子，在哪里?

Oh不.我知道，我一开始也看不见

就在...um...

罗斯,我又找不到了.

好吧.

804TheOneWithTheVideotape

804TheOneWithTheVideotape

[Scene:TheHallway,ChandlerandMonicaarereturningfromtheir

honeymoon.]

Chandler:wegoin,IjustwantyoutoknowIloveyou.

Ihadagreattimeonourhoneymoon,andIcan’twaittogointhere

andspendtherestofourlifetogether.

Monica:You’rereallystickingwiththeshellnecklacehuh?(Points

tonecklaceofshellshe’swearing.)

(JoeyandPhoebeburstforthfromhisapartment.)

Phoebe:Hi!

Joey:Hey!You’reback!(Hugsandkissesallaround.)

Monica:Hisweetie!

Phoebe:Comeonin!

(TheygrabtheluggageanddragitintoJoeyandRachel’sforcing

MonicaandChandlertofollow.)

Phoebe:Sohowwasthehoneymoon?

Monica:Oh,bestpartis,wemetthisincredible

coupleonthewayback.

Phoebe:Thatwasthebestpart?(ToChandler)Goodhoneymooningtiger.

Monica:No,reontheirhoneymoontoo!

Chandler:They’reterrific,andtheyliverighthereinthecity.

Monica:Yeah,canwegocallthem?Isittoosoontocall?Iwanna

call.

Chandler:I’msorry,we’rejustkindaexcitedbecausewefinally

haveacoupletohangoutwith.

Monica:Iknow.

Joey:Acouple?Liketwopeople?Like(pointstohimself)one(points

toPhoebe),twopeople?

Monica:Thisisdifferent!GregandJennyareinarelationship.

Phoebe:Oh,GregandJennyyuck!(Angrily)HiGreg,I’mChandlerthis

ca,.

804录像带

慢着，我们进去前我想你知道我爱你

跟你度蜜月很开心

我迫不及待地想跟你进屋去共度余生.

你真的很喜欢那个贝壳项链？

你们回来了

进来

度蜜月如何?

很好玩，最开心的是回程时

又碰到那不可思议的一对.

那是最开心?你们度蜜月

他们真的很棒，刚巧也是度蜜月

他们很好，就住在这个城市

可打给他们，太快了吧?我想打

对不起，我们太兴奋了

我们终于与一对夫妇交朋友

一对夫妇?就象一个、两个人??

那是不同，Greg和Jenny是夫妻

Greg和Jenny?“晦，Greg，我是

Chandler”

“晦，Monica，这是Jenny”

“晦，Jenny，晦，Greg”

他们很棒,若你们有机会…

你知道么？

将纪念品交给我们，然后快走

呃,我们没时间去...

你开玩笑？

我们没有买纪念品给你们

项链很不错

你可以拿去

Chandler:Listen,ustgotachance…

Joey:Y’knowwhat?Whydon’tyoujustgiveusoursouvenirsandget

thehelloutofhere?

Chandler:Wereally…didn’tgetachanceto…

Phoebe:Youhavegottobekiddingme!

Monica:Wedidn’tgetanythingforanyone.

Joey:Hm-mm!Yeahnicenecklace!

Monica:Thatyoucanhave.

OpeningCredits

{Transcriber’sNote:Traditionwasbrokenhereastherewereno

commercialsimmediatelyaftertheopeningcredits,justmoreshow.}

[Scene:MonicaandChandler's,RossandRachelareenteringwiththe

restofthegangalreadyinside.]

Rachel:Hi!

All:Hey!

Ross:Hello!

Rachel:Welcomehome.

Ross:So,howwasthehoneymoon?

Monica:Itwasgreat!Itwasgreat!Howaboutyou?!Imeanyou’re

havingababy!

Rachel:Oh!Look!Ihaveasonogrampicture!

Monica:Ohgreat!(Showsthemthepicture.)

Chandler:Ross!It’sgotyourwavyblacklines!

Monica:Allright,sonowthatRossknowscanyoutellusy’knowhow

ithappened?Imean,whendidithappen?Howmanytimesdidithappen?

Phoebe:Monica!That’snotright!Startwithwhere.

(RachellooksatRossandgetshisapproval.)

Rachel:Wellithappenedaboutsixweeksago,anduhIhadjustgot

homefromworkandRosswasalreadythere‘causeIguesshehadbeen

hangingoutwithJoey.

Joey:You’rewelcomebuddy.

Ross:(glaringathim)Yeah,thanks.(Joeynodsnoproblem.)

Rachel:AndsoIhadalotofworktodosoRoss,niceguythathe

is,nwehadalittlewine,wegotto

talking,andthenextthingyouknowoutofnowhereRosscomesonto

me.

Ross:(laughs)Ummthat’s…that’salittlemisleading.

Rachel:Whatis?

Ross:Thelieyoujusttold.

Rachel:That-thatyoucameontome?

Ross:There’stheone!

Rachel:Butyoudid!Imean,let’sbehonest.

Ross:Yeslet’s.Y’knowwhat?Uh,it’s-it’

isimportantisthat,isthatwe’’s

not—Doesn’tmatterwhocameontowho.

Joey:Whom.(Everyonelooksathimshocked.)That’sright.

Rachel:Youknowyoukissedmefirst.

Ross:What?What?!Youwerebeggingmetokissyou!You-you-youwere

sendingmesignalsallovertheplace!

Rachel:Iwassendingyousignals?

Ross:Yeah!

HI

欢迎回到家．

度蜜月开心吗?

开心!你呢?你们要生孩子了

看,我有超声波照片

太好了

Ross?有你的波浪黑线

既然Ross知道，究竟如何发生?

是几时的事?多少次?

Monica，不该这样问

从哪儿开始的？

是六星期前发生的

我刚下班回来。

Ross正在那里，我想他来找Joey.

别客气

谢谢

我有很多事情要做

Ross真是个好人，他答应帮我忙

我们喝了点酒，倾谈起来

然后不知怎地，Ross向我调情

那有点误导

什么？

你刚说的谎言

“你向我调情?”

就是这个.

但那是真的,我们应该诚实.

是的,没错.

当然了，那并不重要

最重要的是我们快要生孩子

谁采取主动并不重要

谁采取主动

这才对

是你先吻我的.

什么？!是你叫我吻你的.

你你你不停地暗示我.

我作出暗示?拜托.Okay,

屋子中谁认为我暗示Ross吻我的请举手.

别人相信什么不重要.!最重要是发生什

么事

Okay.那些暗示,解释一下，因为我以后

不想表错情.

看着，我现在正在暗示你什么吗?

听我说,算了吧

不,请你展示一下我是怎么暗示你的.

我可以给你看，我录下了

那是一种措辞.

他居然拍下他们做爱

对，拍摄前应先咨询女孩的意见

新手就是会犯错

知道谁有新款的摄录机

Greg和Jenny?

Rachel:,anyoneinthisroomthinkthatIwouldsend

Rossbeggingsymbols,pleaseshowofhands.(Rossraiseshishandand

nooneelse.)

Ross:Y’knowwhat?!Itdoesn’tmatter!Itdoesn’tmatterwhatyou

believe!Whatmattersiswhathappened!

Rachel:esignalsRoss,explainthistome,‘causemaybe

,amIsendingyouthesesignalsright

now?

Ross:Y’knowwhat?Y’knowwhat?Rachel,just-justdropit.

Rachel:Noplease,showmehowIbeggedyou!

Ross:Icanshowyou,Ihaveitonvideotape!(Stunnedsilence)It’s

anexpression.

CommercialBreak

[Scene:MonicaandChandler's,timehaslapsed,Phoebe,Joey,

Chandler,andMonicaaresittingatthekitchentable.]

Phoebe:Ican’tbelievehetapedthetwoofthemhavingsex!

Joey:Yeah!ookie

mistake.

Chandler:Y’knowwhohasagreatvideocamera?

Phoebe:(nasally)GregandJenny?

Monica:Doyoustillwannacall‘em?Iwannacall‘em.

Chandler:Let’scall‘em.

Joey:Yeah!Askthemiftheybroughttheirfriendsanysouvenirs!

(Monicagoesoveranddialstheirnumber.)

Monica:(onphone)Hello?(Listens)Eighthstreetdeli?

Joey:Hey,hangup!Yougetfoodpoisoningjusttalkin’tothatplace.

Monica:(onphone)Uhsorry,wrongnumber.(Hangsup)

Chandler:Hereyougo.(Showsherthenumberagain.)

Monica:(onphone)Hello?(Listens)(ToAll)It’sthedeliagain!

Joey:Allright!I’llhaveasandwich!

Monica:(hangsup)Idon’tthinkthisnumber’sright!

(JoeyandPhoebelaugh.)

Chandler:What?

Phoebe:Yougotfakenumbered.

Monica:What?!Peopledon’tdothat!

Joey:OhIthinkwedo.

Monica:Theygaveusafakenumber?Why?Whywouldtheydothat?

Chandler:Idon’tknow!edall

thoseinsightful,greatquestions.

Monica:Andyou’,joke,joke,youwere

ahoot!

Joey:Y’knowwhat?Don’tworryaboutit,youstillgotmeandPhoebe.

Phoebe:Excuseme,Idon’twantGregandJenny’srejects.

Ross:(entering)Rachelwon’ttalktome!Shewon’tevenopenthe

door!

Phoebe:Hmm,t!

Ross:Okay,listenIamnotapervert!

Phoebe:That’slikethepervertmotto!Yeah!Yeah!Theyhaveyou

raiseyourrighthand,putyourlefthanddownyourpants,andrepeat

that!

Ross:ok,here’s

你想打给他们吗?我想

打一打吧

问他们有没有买纪念品给朋友

Hello?第八街熟食店?

嘿,快挂掉.跟那种地方说话会食物中毒

的.

Uh,抱歉,号码错了.

亲爱的试试这个.

Hello?又是熟食店.

好，我要三文治

我觉得号码错了

什么？

你拿了假号码

什么?人不会这样做

Oh,我就做过.

他们给我们假号码?为什么

我不知道

你们交谈很愉快.

你问的那些见解深刻的的问题.

你也很幽默，你不断说笑话，你是个滑稽

鬼.

别担心.你们还有我和Phoebe

不好意思我不想Greg和Jenny拒绝

Rachel不跟我说话.

她甚至不开门给我.

Mm,我也不知道那为什么,性变态?

Okay,听着，我不是性变态.

这正是性变态者的口头禅.

没错，你抬起右手

而把左手放在裤子上，重复做。

听着，录像并不是我计划好的.

情况是这样的

Joey，你可以帮我

大约个半月前记得我来找你

一个私人问题

什么私人问题?

关于性?

我几个月没有做爱?

对，我记得

六星期前

我想说一件事……真是难以启齿

你说吧

你跟你妈洗澡?

想谈什么我自已知道.

我过了一段枯燥的日子...性爱方面.

Oh,大约几个月?

5个月,

我说谎,6个月.

六个月?真糟糕

也不是那么槽.我学会欣赏那些,

生活中的小事

whathappened,ht,

about-aboutamonthandahalfagoIcametoyouwithaproblem?Umm,

apersonalthing.

Joey:Personalthing?Whatpersonalthing?Idon’tknow.

Ross:About…aboutsex?(Joeylooksathimconfused)ThatIhadn’t

hadsexinmonths?

Joey:(laughs)YeahIknewwhatyouweretalkin’about.

SixWeeksEarlier

[Scene:JoeyandRachel's,JoeyisreadingacerealboxasRossenters

wearingtheredsweater.]

Ross:Hey!

Joey:Hey.

Ross:Doyouhaveaminute?I’dliketotalktoyouaboutsomething

I’m,I’mreallyuncomfortabletalkingabout.

Joey:?Aboutuh,youshoweringwithyourmom?

Ross:Iactuallyhadatopicinmind!I’m,I’mkindagoingthrough

adryspell,sexwise.

Joey:Whoa,forlikemonths?

Ross:Fivetobelying,six.

Joey:Sixmonths?Whoathat’srough.

Ross:Well,Imeanit’snotallbad.I’mlearningtoappreciatethe

uh,esoundofabirdandthecolor

ofthesky.

Joey:Thesky’sblueRossandIhadsexyesterday!

Ross:Please,helpme!ogowell

okay—I’mscaredformyhealth!

Joey:…Ooh!Oh-oh,’sthisstory

Icameupwith,anywomanthathearsit;

they’relikeputty.

Ross:Really?Wellthentellittome.

Joey:’regonnawanttohavesexwithmewhenyouhear

it,butyouhavetorememberitisjustthestory.

Ross:(sarcastic)I’lltrytocontrolmyself.

Joey:Okay.(Clearsthroat)Yearsago,whenIwasbackpackingacross

WesternEurope…

Ross:(laughs)YouwerebackpackingacrossWesternEurope?

Joey:HaveanicesixmoremonthsRoss!(Startstoleave.)

Ross:(stoppinghim)Okay!Okay!Okay.I’,please,

youwereinWesternEuropeand?

Joey:IwasjustoutsideBarcelonahikinginthefoothillsofMount

theendofthispathandIcametoaclearingand

therewasalake,reweretalltreesallaround.

(Whispering)us.(Softly)Andacrossthe

lakeIsaw…abeautifulwoman…bathingherself…butshewascrying…

Ross:(intentlylistening)Why?

[Scene:Ross'sApartment,RossisonhisdatewithKristenand

they’redrinkingwine.]

Kristen:Umm,thisisgreatwine.

Ross:It’sfromFrance…InEurope…WesternEurope.Y’knowumm,a

fewyearsagoIactuallywasbackpackingacrossWesternEurope.

Kristen:Really?

如鸟语花香，天空色彩

天空是蓝的，我昨天做过爱

我今晚有约会，非成功不可

我担心自己的健康

我有办法我想到一个浪漫的故事

我发誓任何女人听完后会感动

真的?告诉我吧

你听完后会想跟我上床

但记住，这只是故事

我会尝试控制自己

几年前，我在西欧用背包旅行

你在西欧用背包旅行?

多守六个月斋吧

对不起，你在西欧，然后

我刚走出巴塞罗那，在山脚下走着

Tibidabo山

在山路尽头，看见一个湖

那里人迹罕至，树林茂密

寂静一片，景色优美

但河的对面，有个美女出浴

但她在哭

为什么?

这酒很棒

是法国酒

欧洲

西欧

几年前我在西欧用背包旅行

真的?

Mm-Hmm,请稍候.

我在巴塞罗那

我在巴塞罗那读过一年书

um,我正在徒步旅行...

我也喜欢徒步旅行.

太好了

我正沿着Tibidabo山徒步旅行...

我认为是Tiba-DAH-bo.

Okay,这故事由你来讲好了?!

你约会如何?

很好，我正在对面街跟她做爱

你的故事真糟糕

嘿,如果它没用那也是因为你没讲好.

让我看看你是怎么讲的.

不,我不想说

你多久没碰女人了?

我正在西欧徒步旅行...

我完全没感觉.

我刚走出巴塞罗那,正在走着...

我一点也没兴奋,你兴奋了吗？

这六个月来,我一直兴奋

你说得没有感情，好像你不相信

我要走了，我约了人，但试一下

Ross:Uh-hmm—Wait!,yeahIwasinBarcelona.

Kristen:IstudiedforayearinBarcelona.(Rossisstunnedand

worried.)

Ross:Anyway,ummsoIwasum,Iwashiking…

Kristen:Ilovehiking!

Ross:(whines)Ohthat’sgreat!Iwashikingalongthefoothillsof

MountTibidaybo…

Kristen:IthinkitsTibidabo.

Ross:Okay!Doyouwannatellthestory?!

[Scene:JoeyandRachel's,JoeyisstandingatthecounterasRoss

enters.]

Joey:Whoa!Whatareyoudoinghere?Howdidyourdatego?

Ross:Great!I’macrossthestreethavingsexwithherrightnow.

Yourstorysucks!

Joey:Hey!Look,ifitdidn’tworkit’sbecauseyoudidn’ttell

itright!Showmehowyoudidit.

Ross:No!No,Idon’t…don’twantto.

Joey:Howlongsinceyou’veseenagirlnaked?

Ross:IwasbackpackingacrossWesternEurope.

Joey:I’mnotfeelingit.

Ross:IwasjustoutsideBarcelona,hiking…

Joey:No!No!NoRoss!I’mnothot!Areyouhot?

Ross:It’sbeensixmonths!I’malwayshot!

Joey:Wellyou’renotsellingthestory!It’slike;it’slikeyou

don’tbelieveit!Look,ate,

whatIdowhenI’?I’llsetyou

upwithmyvideocameraandyoucanrecordyourselfand-andseewhat

you’redoingwrong.

Ross:I’lltrythat.

Joey:Allrightnow…Allright,you’’regoodto

ht?

Ross:Thanks.

Joey:Goodluck.

Ross:-andheyJoe?

Joey:Yeah?

Ross:Listen,ifyoueverhaveanyproblemwiththeladiesyouknow

I’llhelpyouout.

Joey:(tryingnottolaugh)Thatmeansalottomeman.(Exits.)

(Rosspourshimselfaglassofwine,hitsrecord,andsitsdownin

frontofthecamera.)

Ross:Hello!CanIgetyouanything?Huh?Lenscleaner?Yourbattery

okay?(RachelburstsincarryingtwoboxesandRossjumpsup.)Rachel!

Rachel:OhRoss!

Ross:Hi!

Rachel:ThankGodyou’rehere!Youhavetohelpme!Wereyoujust

talkingtoyourself?

Ross:That’slessembarrassing,s.

(Theysitdownonthecouch,whichisinfrontofthestillrecording

camera.)

Ross:(voiceover)Sowhenshecamein,Igotdistractedandtotally

forgotaboutthecamera.[Cutbacktothepresentday.]Itkeptrolling

像我试镜前会做的事

我并不饥渴

我安装摄录机你可以录下来

看看自己哪里没做好

我试试吧.

好吧，安装好了，

只要按下“录像”就行了，明白吗?

如果你被女人缠着我会帮你解脱出来的.

你真是好朋友

晦．

我能帮你做什么?擦擦镜头?

你的电池是满的吧?

Ross，你在这里真好，你得帮帮我.

你刚才自言自语?

没有那么难为情，没错

她进来的时候我谎谎张张，

完全忘记了摄像机的事.

它继续运转并拍下所有东西.

好，我们要看那带子.

好主意，那会让Rachel原谅我.

这对她不公平.别再提这带子了.

谢谢

不

你说得对

Joey,不行

我听得很清楚

不明白为啥Greg他们要给假号码

若他们刻意隐瞒应该连名字也是假的

人会给假号码，但不会给假名字

晦，我叫Kenadams，幸会

我叫ReginaPhelangie

我们又没做错

我知道

尽管你讲了很多恶心的笑话.

你说那些笑话很有趣.

笑话,笑话,笑话,笑话.

笑话,笑话,废话,废话.

也许是你的问题.

我的问题?

你的尖嗓门

就象筛子在筛东西.

Oh,那也是个笑话吗？

你在发问么？

Ross在吗?

他跟我们说了，那真的是个误会.

Oh,真的吗?

如果我跟你做爱并录下来你会怎么想?

哦，算了

Oh,他来了,我孩子的父亲，西部色情

王.

那是个意外，OK?

andrecordedeverything.

(Pause)

Chandler:Yeah,we’regonnaneedtoseethattape.(Theyrestofthem

agree.)

Monica:Yeah,definitely.

Ross:Whatagreatidea!ThatwillgetRacheltoforgiveme!

Joey:Y’knowwhat?’sjustforgetthe

tape!

Ross:Thankyou.(JoeymouthstoRoss,"You’llshowmeright?")No!

Joey:You’reright.(Mouths,"Iknowyou’llshowme,right?)

Ross:Joey!No!

Joey:Loudandclear!(Mouths,"You’llshowme,"andnods.)

(Rossstormsout.)

[Scene:MonicaandChandler's,Monica,Chandler,Joey,andPhoebeare

nowsittinginthelivingroom.]

Monica:Istilldon'tgetwhyGregandJennywouldgiveusafake

number.

Joey:Y’know,iftheyknewwhattheyweredoingtheyprobablydidn’t

giveyourealnameseither.

Monica:Okay,maybepeoplegiveoutfakenumbers,buttheydon’tgive

outfakenames.

Joey:Ohyeah?(ToPhoebe)Hi,KenAdams,nicetomeetyou.

Phoebe:ReginaPhilange.(KenandReginashakehands.)

Chandler:Istilldon’tgetit,wedidn’tdoanythingwrong.

Monica:Iknow!Although,youdidtellanawfullotofjokes.

Chandler:!Joke!Joke!

Monica:(rollingherheadfromsidetoside)!Blah!

(JoeyandPhoebelaugh.)

Chandler:Wellmaybeitwasallofyourquestions.

Monica:Whataboutmyquestions?

Chandler:Thesheervolume,itwaslikeflyingwiththeRiddler!

Monica:Oh,I’tanotherjoke?

Chandler:(angrily)Wasthatanotherquestion?

Rachel:(entering)Hey!IsRossstillhere?

Joey:UhnoRach,he’ten,hetolduswhathappened

anditdoes,itsoundslikeanhonestmistake.

Rachel:Ohreally?WellhowwouldyoulikeitifIhadsexwithyou

andItapedit?(Joeysmilesluridly)Ohforgetit!(Rossenters.)

Ohthereheisnow,thefatherofmychild,thepornkingofthewest

village.

Ross:Look,itwasaccident!Okay?I-Ifeelbadthatithappened,but

Iswear,Ididn’tevenwatchit!Anyway,here.(Hetakesthetape

outofhiscoatpocket.)Ithoughtyoumightbemorecomfortable

destroyingityourself.(Tossesherthetape.)

Rachel:Thankyou.(Shesetsitonthefloorandisabouttostomp

onitwithhershoewhentherestofthegangjumpsupandyells

simultaneously.)What?(Theyallyellagain.)Youdon’twanttosee

thisdoyou?

Monica:Hellyeah!!!

Rachel:Iamnotgonnashowyouthis!

Phoebe:No!Notthesexpart,justthestuffleadinguptoit.

我这么做了我很抱歉，但我发誓我没看过

它.

录影带在这里

我想你会乐意自己弄坏它.

谢谢

什么?

你们想看?

见鬼,没错!

我可不想给你们看.

不,性爱那部分我们不看.

只看前面那一段.

算了吧，她会毁灭它

好，我们只是想弄清到底是谁挑逗谁.

快想啊

这是Rachel的录影带她有权决定如何处

置

她想毁灭它，所以，别再提了.

我倒想看看.

很明显你不想别人看这带子.

我也不想别人看这带子.

但你越不想别人看，我越想看，你也来看

吗?

我们到底看不看?!

我不想别为看是为了你好.

Oh,我可不相信你.

我看你是不想让别为看到你乞求我.

Rachel，别这样哦，只看少许

好，但记住我曾极力阻止

因为只需要5分钟我就能说...

我们播吧

真高兴.

Oh,谢天谢地Ross你在这.

我在那里

你将会怀孕

今次槽了

我答应Monica帮她寄出请柬大约一个星

期前

你还没有?

没有，我将请柬放在公司直到今天才想起

不要紧，大家都出席婚礼

我的手有点痛

我知道

不敢相信我居然这样做尤其是Monica不

断向我叨唠

“Rachel，这是请柬Rachel”“小心，

Rachel”

“记住别在结婚请帖边上喝东西,

Rachel.”哦……

你真的在我们的结婚请帖上倒了酒?

不，那些寄出去的没有倒.

Oh,那么,只是倒在这些你们还回来的

Ross:Forgetit,she’sdestroyingit.

Phoebe:Okayfine!Fine!We’lljusthavetothinkofsomeotherway

toputthewhole‘Whocameontowho,’thingtorest!Comeonnow,

think!!

Ross:Look,?It’sRachel’stapeandshecan

,end

ofstory.

Rachel:Iwannaseeit.

Ross:What?!

Rachel:Clearlyyoudon’n’t

wantpeopletoseethistapeeither,butyousobadlydon’tpeople

?

Joey:(confused)Arewewatchin’thetapeornot?!

Ross:Idon’twantpeopletoseeitforyoursake.

Rachel:Ahh,Idon’youdon’twantthemto

seeyoubeggingme.(GoestoputthetapeintheVCR)

Ross:Rachel,please…

Rachel:Ah,alittlepreview!

Ross:,butIwanttherecordtoshowthatItriedtotake

thehighroad,becauseinaboutfiveminutesI’mgonnabesaying…(He

laughsandpointsatRachelsarcastically.)

(Theybothsitdown.)

Rachel:Okay,herewego.(Pushesplay.)

Ross:(ontape)Hello!CanIgetyouanything?

Joey:(ToPhoebe)I’msohappy!

CommercialBreak

[Scene:MonicaandChandler's,thesceneiscontinuedfromearlier.]

Rachel:(ontape)Oh,thankGodyou’rehere!Youhavetohelpme!

Wereyoujusttalkingtoyourself?

Rachel:ThereIam.

Phoebe:You’regonnagetpregnant.

Rachel:(ontape)Iscrewedupsobad,ItoldMonicathatIwouldstuff

andsendalltheseweddinginvitationslikeweeksagoandI-I…

Ross:(ontape)Youdidn’tdoit?

Rachel:(ontape)I-Iknow—Ihadputthemin…in-inmydeskatwork

andIcompletelyforgotaboutthemuntiltoday.

(ChandlerisshockedandRachelgetsscaredofMonicaveryquickly.)

Monica:(takingRachel’shand)’ody

madeittothewedding.I’mfine.

Rachel:Kindahurtin’myhandthough.

Monica:Iknow.

Rachel:(ontape)(Rosshandsheraglassofwine)Icannotbelieve

allyafterMonicajustwentonandonandon

aboutit!(MimickingMonica)"OkayRachel!Herearetheinvitations

Rachel!NowbeverycarefulRachel!Please,drinkingnoliquidsaround

theinvitationsRachel!"(Shetiltsherwineglassaboveandmoves

itbackandforthacrosstheinvitations)Whoaoh!Oh-oh-oh!

Oh…oh-oh-oh…

(iscompletelyshocked.)

Chandler:Didyoudoitonourinvitations?!

Ross:(pause)Notontheoneswesentout.

而我们裱起来结婚请帖上面了?

你能相信吗?这真的发生了.

我是说,就好象他们昨天才定的婚.

我知道

记得订婚当晚我们差点……

Oh,我记得...

你觉得我们会做吗？如果当时没被发现

的话?

你认为我们该做吗?

我想做，但我不肯定你的想法

哦，我也想做

原来我们都想做

有趣

但现在这样最好

当然

Okay,十秒后你们就会看到他吻我了.

五秒后你们就会知道为什么了.

Ross,我曾跟你说起过那次我在西欧徒

步旅行的事吗?

Okay,准备看了.

你向Ross调情?

什么？

我终于洗脱嫌疑

你说什么?

你用西欧那个故事?

那个你想性爱时才用的奇妙故事!

-你们怎么知道这故事的?!

你又是怎么知道这故事的?

我的朋友Irene告诉我的,她听别人说起

过.

别人!

不.她说那人叫KenAdams.

KenAdams!

很明显，大家都很清楚这个“欧洲故事”

Yeah,好了，关于这整件事

谁挑逗谁真的没什么.

我的意思是，它也可能以另一种方式发

生.

我的意思是,

如果你不讲这故事，我可能也会讲的.

那是个奇妙的夜晚.

没错,是个奇妙的夜晚.

你觉得再看它会奇妙吗?

我,uh,不知道.我是说,我真的不想

看.

没错,我也不想看...

还不想.

Uh,那有些古怪.

没错,真的很古怪.

祝你好运

也祝你好运.

Chandler:So,justtheonesgavebacktousandwehadframed!(Slams

theframedinvitationdownontothetable.)

(Rachelstopsfastforwarding.)

Rachel:(ontape)Canyoubelievethisisalreadyhappening?Imean

itseemslikeyesterdaytheyjustgotengaged.

Ross:(ontape)ember…rememberthenighttheygot

engaged?Howuh,youandIalmost…

Rachel:(ontape)Oh,hinkwe

would’vegonethroughwithit?Y’know,ifwehadn’tgottencaught.

Doyouthinkwewould’vedoneit?

Ross:(ontape)ImeanI…,Ijustwasn’t

sureifyouwantedto.

Rachel:(ontape)OhIwantedto.

(RossandRacheltradelookswhilewatchingthetape.)

Ross:(ontape)Sowe…webothwantedto.

Rachel:(ontape)Interesting.

Ross:(ontape)Yeah.(Pause)Anywayumm,itprobablyworkedoutfor

thebest.

Rachel:(ontape)Ohyeah,sure.

Rachel:Okay,inabouttensecondsyou’regonnaseehimkissme.

Ross:Andinaboutfivesecondsyou’regonnaseewhy.

Rachel:(ontape)RossdidIevertellyouaboutthetimethatIwent

backpackingthroughWesternEurope?

(Joey’sshockedandeveryoneelselooksatRachel.)

Rachel:Okay,getreadytoseesomebeggin’!

Phoebe:Oh,youcameontoRoss!

Rachel:What?!

Ross:NowI’msohappy.

Rachel:Whatareyoutalkingabout?!

Monica:YouusedtheEuropestory!

Chandler:That’sthemagicstoryyouusewhenyouwannahavesex!

Rachel:Howdoyouknowaboutthatstory?!

Joey:Howdoyouknowaboutthatstory?!

Rachel:IhearditfrommyfriendIrenewhohearditfromsomeguy!

Joey:(raiseshishand)Someguy!!(Pointstohimself.)

Rachel:,shetoldmehisnamewasKenAdams.

Joey:(raiseshishandandpointstohimselfagain)KenAdams!!

[Scene:JoeyandRachel's,Rachelislookingatthetapesittingon

thecounterasRossenters.]

Ross:Hi.

Rachel:Souh,apparentlypeoplearefamiliarwiththeEuropestory?

Ross:aboutthat,thewholeuh,whocameontowhothing

reallydoesn’,Ithinkitwould’vehappenedeither

fyouhadn’tinitiateditI-I-IknowIwould’ve.

Rachel:Itwasanamazingnight.

Ross:namazingnight.

(Pause)

Rachel:Youthinkitlookedamazing?

Ross:Iuh…Idon’…Ihonestlydidn’twatchit.

Rachel:Yeah,…

Ross:Uhhhhhh…that-thatmaybeweird.

介意我按静音吗?

Oh.开始脱衣服了.

你脱得出奇的快.

六个月了,Rachel,六个月了.

我们看起来很棒.

我也正想这么说.

Whoa,晒得很好的肤色.

谢谢.

上个周末我刚去海滩晒太阳.

Oh.你曾经锻炼过?

我锻炼过.

这比我做过的都要好...

Oh,这可不好看.

Oh,快停下来.

No,no!

晦，Greg，我是飞机上的Monica

听着,你给我们的号码.8535

那是旧号码!Jenny搬走后就不用了.

Jenny!真是Jenny的作风

下周六聚一聚如何?

Okay.星期天呢?

...下下个星期呢?

再下个星期?

知道吗?我们是很好...很有趣...

幽默的人和爱提好问题的人!

如果你和你亲爱的Jenny当时没看出

来...

1月15号?到时见.Okay!

Rachel:Yeah,itwouldbereallyweird.

(RossgrabsthetapeandheadsfortheVCRasRachelgoesoverand

putsthechainonthedoorandlocksit.)

Ross:Goodluck.

Rachel:Goodlucktoyou.

(Rosspushesplay.)

Ross:MindifImute?

Rachel:Ohplease.(Hedoesso.)

Ross:Oh,ohtheregotheclothes.

Rachel:Youareundressingveryquickly.

Ross:SixmonthsRachel,sixmonths.

RossandRachel:Ah.(Pause)Oh.

Ross:-welook…welookprettygood.

Rachel:That’swhatIwasgonnasay.

Ross:Ohnicetan!

Rachel:Thankyou!Ihadjustgonetothebeachthatweekend.

Ross:Ah….

Rachel:Haveyoubeenworkingout?

Ross:Ihavebeenworkingout.

Rachel:Really?Wow,thisissomuchbetterthanI…

RossandRachel:Ohh!Ew!

Ross:Ohthat’snotpretty.

Rachel:Oh!Oh!

Ross:No!

Rachel:OhGod!

Ross:Ohno!

Rachel:Oh,makeitstop!

Ross:Ohno!!

Rachel:Makeitstop!!

Ross:No!!

Rachel:Havetomakeitstop!!

Ross:No!!!

(TheybothgetoutofthechairandrunfortheVCR.)

ClosingCredits

[Scene:MonicaandChandler's,MonicaandChandlerhavegonethrough

thephonebookandfoundGregandJenny’snumberwhichMonicahas

justdialed.]

Monica:(onphone)HelloGreg?(Listens)Hi,thisisMonicafromthe

plane?Listen,thenumberthatyougaveme853-5…(Listens)(To

Chandler)Thatistheiroldnumber!Jenny’sbeengivingitoutsince

theymoved!

Chandler:Jenny!ThatissoJenny!

Monica:(onphone)Heylistenumm,howwouldyouliketogettogether?

SaynextSaturday?(Listens)Okay,howaboutSunday?(Listens)Okay

umm,theweekafterthat?(Listens)Theweekafterthat?(Listens)

Y’knowwhatGreg?Y’knowwhat?Wearegood,interesting,funny

peoplewithgoodquestionsandifyouandyourpreciousJennycan’t

seethatthen…(Listens)January15th?(Chandlerdances.)We’llsee

youthen!(Listens)Okay!

(Shehangsupthephoneandtheyhug.)

End

805TheOneWithRachel’sDate

805TheOneWithRachel’sDate

[Scene:Monica’sRestaurantKitchen,sheisfranticallyworkingand

ishandingtwofinisheddishestoawaitress.]

Monica:Okay,nowthisoneisrare,thisoneismediumwell!Now

go-go-go!(Phoebeenters)HeyPhoebe!

Phoebe:Hey!

Monica:Heyhowwasdinner?!

Phoebe:Dinnerwasgood!

Monica:Okay!

Phoebe:I’mjustsayinghi!NowI’mgonnago!

Monica:Okay!

(Phoebeturnstoleavebutnoticesanattractiveman.)

Phoebe:(Tohim)Oh,wellhellothere.

Guy:Hi.

Phoebe:(ToMonica)Ididn’tseethisonthemenu.

Monica:UhTim?thisisTim,mynewsouschef.

Phoebe:Oh,soyou'reMonica’sboss?

Tim:Actuallyshe’Frenchforunder.

Phoebe:Oh!Isousstand.

Monica:HeyTim?,could

yougetmethepesto?

Tim:Yeah.

Phoebe:Ohyou…youmadepesto?

Tim:YesIdid.

Phoebe:Wouldyousayyourpestoisthebest-o?

Tim:I…I-Idon’tknow,butIwouldsayit’sprettygood-o.(Phoebe

laughstoohard.)

(Monicagoesoverandgrabsthepesto.)

Monica:Allright,IstillneedacalamariandaCaesarsalad.

Tim:Ilikeyournecklace.

Phoebe:Imadeitmyself.

Tim:Youaresotalented.

Phoebe:Well,it’snopesto.

Monica:Allright,allright!Let’sjustcuttothechase,okay?(To

Phoebe)You’resingle.(ToTim)You’resingle.(ToPhoebe)Hegets

offworkateleven.(ToTim)She’llbewaitingforyourcall.(To

Phoebe)I’llgivehimyournumberifIcangetonecalamariandone

Caesarsalad!!(Everyoneinthekitchenstops.)

notputtingadollarinthejar.

OpeningCredits

[Scene:Chandler’sOffice,he’sworkingathiscomputerashisboss,

in,stickshisheadin.]

in:WowBing!Burningthemidnightoil.

805瑞秋的约会

这块是生的!这块是七成熟!快去

Hi，Phoebe!晚饭怎样?

不错!来打声招呼!现在我就走

你好

你好

我在菜单上看不见这个

这是我的副手Tim，这位是Phoebe

你是Monica的上司?

不,其实她是我上司

副手的法语是下属的意思

我明白

Tim，我要花枝及恺撒沙拉

麻烦给我香草酱

你懂得弄香草酱?

你的香草酱可是一流?

我不知道，但我猜不错吧

恺撒沙拉你还没给我

我喜欢你的项链

我自己做的

你真聪明

我不会弄香草酱

对，废话少说

你们男的未婚，女的未嫁

他十一时下班，她会等你的电话

只要给我一份沙拉

我会将把她的号码给你

我没有大叫!我没有激动

哗,Bing!这么晚还工作

你了解我的为人

假如用公司电脑网络…

…怎样接驳到互联网的色情网?

你真会说笑

有什么好笑?

抱歉要你等了

没关系,你想去哪里?

你应该知道我想去哪里

摇滚餐厅?

当然

又去?

当然

我喜欢那里的食物

Chandler:,

knowhowIgetaroundtheofficecomputernetworksoIcanaccessthe

reallygoodInternetporn?

in:You’reajokerBing.(Walksaway.)

Chandler:What’sfunnyaboutthat?

Ross:(runningup)Hey!SorryIkeptyouwaitingsolong.

Chandler:Heythat’,wheredoyouwanttogo?

Ross:Ohah,IthinkyouknowwhereIwanttogo.

Chandler:TheHardRockCafé?

Ross:Yeah!

Chandler:Again?!

Ross:Yeah!!

(Theygoouttotheelevators.)

Ross:I’mtellingyou,Ilikethefood!

Chandler:YoulikethePurpleRaindisplay!(Aguywalksup.)HeyBob.

Bob:HeyToby!Haveagoodnight.(Walksby.)

Ross:DidthatguyjustcallyouToby?

Chandler:Yeah,hethinksthat’smyname.

Ross:Well,whydon’tyoucorrecthim?

Chandler:Ohit’sbeengoingonwaytolongnow.Y’know,Imeanthe

firsttimehesaiditwewerejustpassingeachotherinthehallway,

soIdidn’nthenexttimehesaid,"HeyToby,

doyouwantadonut?"it’sfiveyears

later,thedonut’sgoneandI’mstillToby.

Ross:Fiveyears?!Chandleryouhavetotellhim!

Chandler:No!Thatwouldbesoawkward!Look—Besides,weworkin

’sonthesixthfloory’know?Sohecalls

’sthebigdeal?Itcouldbeworse,it’s

notlikehe’scallingmeMuriel.(Chandlersuddenlyfreezesinto

place.)

Ross:(laughs)-whywouldhecallyouMuriel?(Rossrealizes

something.)OhmyGod!ChandlerMBing?It’snotjustanM,your

middlenameisMuriel!!

Chandler:Shh!Itisafamilyname!

Ross:,yourparentsnevergaveyouachance

didthey?

[Scene:DaysOfOurLivesset,Joeyisdoingascenewithaco-star

asRachelwatchesonamonitor.]

Joey'sCo-Star:Drake,I’vediscoveredthereasonforallyour

headachesandmemoryloss.

amoray:Whatisit?

Joey'sCo-Star:Apparentlyyourbraintransplantwasnotentirely

syourbodyisrejectingJessica’sbrain.

amoray:Isitserious?

Joey'sCo-Star:Notifweextracttissuefromtheoriginalhostbody,

synthesizeantibodies,andintroducethemintoyoursystem,which

couldstopitfromrejectingthebrain.

amoray:Wellthatsoundssimpleenough,let’sjustdo

that.

Joey'sCo-Star:Wewould,butwhenwewenttoexhumeJessica’sbody,

itwasgone.

你喜欢“紫雨”的装磺

Hi,Bob

Hi,Toby,再见

他刚才叫你Toby?

对,他以为那是我的名字

你为啥不纠正他?

已经是很久以前的事了

第一次说时我们在走廊遇上，所以我没回

应

第二次他问我：Toby，要面圈么?

而我想吃面圈

五年过去了，面圈吃掉了

而我还是Toby

五年了？Chandler,你得告诉他

不,这会很奇怪

况且我们在不同部门工作，他在六楼

他只是偶尔叫我Toby

有什么了不起，他又不是叫我Muriel

他为什么要叫你Muriel？

天啊

Chandler"M."Bing

不是M，你的中间的名是Muriel

那是姓氏

ChandlerMurielBing

你的父母总是叫你难受

我刚找出你头痛及失忆的原因

你的脑部移植出现问题

你的身体在排斥Jessica的脑部

情况严重吗?

若能在Jessica尸体抽取纤维

…综合抗体及引入你的机能那就可以阻

止排斥

听起来容易，照做吧

我们也想，但前去掘出Jessica的尸体时

我们发现……

尸体不见了

停，很好

我去换衣服，然后去吃饭

Jessica的尸体怎么了?

我不能说,你看电视就知道了

你也不知道吧

对,我不在乎

演得很好

你也是

什么?你不应该

Kash，这位是我朋友Rachel

这位是Kash

Hi

我怎么以前没见过你?

Joey大概认为我会令他尴尬

他觉得我是肥皂剧狂迷

(DramaticmusicplaysandJoeydoesalittle‘Smell-the-fart’

acting.)

Director:Cut!Verynicepeople!

Joey:(ToRachel)Okay,letmejustgetchangedandwecangotodinner.

Rachel:Welldon’t—WhathappenedtoJessica’sbody?!

Joey:I’mnottelling,you’llhavetoseeitonTV!

Rachel:Youdon’tknowdoyou?

Joey:No,couldn’tcareless.

Joey'sCo-Star:Heygoodsceneman.

Joey:Heyyoutoo!

Joey'sCo-Star:Alright.

(Rachelclearsherthroat.)

Joey:What?Youweren’tinit.

Rachel:Oh!(MotionstoJoey’sco-star.)

Joey:-uh,Kash?

Kash:Yes?

Joey:,Kash,Kash,Rachel.

Rachel:Hi.

Kash:Hey!HowcomeIhaven’tseenyouherebefore?

Rachel:Well,JoeyprobablythinksI’lljustembarrasshim.Y’know,

hethinksI’msomekindofasoapoperanut—WhichI’mnot!I’m

ghIdoknowthatyouruh,yourfavoriteicecreamflavor

isbutterpecan.(Startsstrokinghisarm)Anduh,andthatyour-your

dog’okatthat,I’mjuststrokingyourarm.

Joey:(grabbingher)Herewego!Herewego!(Startstopullheraway

fromKash.)

Rachel:Oh,we’h.

Kash:Bye.

Rachel:SayhitoWally.

[Scene:CentralPerk,MonicaisgettingcoffeeasPhoebeenters.]

Phoebe:OohMonica!

Monica:Hi!

Phoebe:OhmyGod!

sweet!Oh,Ican’twaittogetsous-neathhim.

Monica:I…Ihavetofirehim.

Phoebe:Butwhy?!

Monica:Becausehe’sterrible!Okay,he’sslow,heburnsthings,

lastnighthelitmypastrychefonfire!

Phoebe:Wellmaybehewasjustnervous,y’knowyoucanbevery

idesI’vemetyourpastrychefandshecanstand

tobetakendownapegortwo.

Monica:Well,nowshehasnoeyebrows,missionaccomplished.

Phoebe:ButMonica,heloveshisjobsomuch!Canyoujustgivehim

anotherchance?Please?

Monica:(thinksaboutit)Allright,butif-ifhelightssomeoneelse

onfireheisoutofthere!

Phoebe:That’sfair!,itlookslike

whenhegotthepastrychefhegotyoualittlebittoo.

Monica:Ipaidtohavethisdone.

Phoebe:Loveit!

[Scene:JoeyandRachel's,RacheliseatingatthecounterasJoey

其实我不是

我知道你最喜欢花生胡桃雪糕

而你的狗叫Wally

看啊,我刚抚摸了你的胳膊

我们走吧

再见．Kash，代我问候Wally

哦，Monica

昨晚我跟Tim一起真难忘

他为人真好

我真想跟他有一手

我要辞退他

他表现差劣，慢条斯理整天烧焦东西

昨晚烧到我的馅饼师傅

或者他只是紧张，你有时很吓人

况且，我见过你的馅饼师傅

她烧伤少许不要紧

她现在没有眉毛这就够槽了

但他很喜欢这份工作

不可以给他一次机会吗?

好吧，但若他再烧伤人我会马上辞退他

那才公平，谢谢你

他烧到那人时你似乎也被波及

我花钱专门做的

我喜欢

Hi．Kash对你有好感

他跟我说你很漂亮

我还以为自己很笨

我同意

他甚至问我你两能否约会

我本来有点想放弃了

你怎么说?

我说不行

什么?

我以为既然你怀孕就不会跟人约会

首先，KashFord不是普通人

第二，你告诉他我怀孕了?

没有．我不肯定你想别人知道

那时我以为Kash是“别人”

好,别告诉他．叫他打给我

我觉得这样不太……

照我说的话做，否则我会去录影棚，结识

所有人

嘿,Bob

我的朋友Toby,怎么样?

若我见到他，我会问他

你刚才跟六楼的Bob谈话?

你们认识?

我们略懂对方名字

你认为让他加入我们怎样?

Bob?

跟我们工作?每天?我不肯定他是否有能

enters.]

Joey:Hey!

Rachel:Hi!

Joey:OhyouknowuhKash,

hethoughtyouwerecharming.

Rachel:IthoughtIwasacompleteidiot.

Joey:Hey,I’askedmeifIthoughtyou’dgoout

withhim.

Rachel:Oh!Oh,IthinkI’d

yousay?

Joey:Isaidno.

Rachel:What?!

Joey:What?I…Ijustfiguredsinceyou’repregnantyou’renotgonna

beseeingpeople.

Rachel:OkayJoey,of

all,whatdidhesaywhenyoutoldhimIwaspregnant?

Joey:Ididn’’tknowifyouweretellingpeople.

ThisisbackwhenIthoughtKashwasstillpeople.

Rachel:Good-good,don’’vehim

callmeokay?

Joey:Rachlook,Ireallydon’tthinkthat’ssuchagreat…

Rachel:Okay,yougodoit!I’llcomebacktothatset!I’llmeet

moreactors!I’llmeet‘emall!

[Scene:Chandler’sOfficeBuilding,Chandleriswalkingbythe

elevatorsandseesBobstandingthere.]

Chandler:HeyBob.

Bob:Hey!How’smypalTobydoingtoday?

Chandler:IfIseehim,I’llask.

Bob:(laughs)Toby!

(Theelevatordoorsopens,Bobboardstheelevator,Chandlerwalks

away,instepsoutoftheelevator.)

in:Hey-hey!Bing?WasthatBobfromsixyouwerejust

talkingtoo?

Chandler:Yeah!

in:Ohthenyouknoweachother.

Chandler:We’reonasemi-firstnamebasis.

in:Whatdoyouthinkofaddinghimtoourteam?

Chandler:Bob?Ooh,workingherewithus?Everyday?Yeah,Idon’t

knowifhehaswhatittakes.

in:Really?Theylovehimdownonsix.

Chandler:’salmosttwiceasharduphere.

in:Okay,lstayput.

Chandler:Ithinkit’sbestsir.

in:k

isstartingtopileup.I’vegotastackofdocumentsonmydeskthis

high.(Holdshishandatshoulderlevel.)

Chandler:Y’knowwhatyoushoulddo,justtoss‘emintheshedder

andclaimyounevergot‘em.

in:(laughs)That’sagoodone.(Walksaway.)

Chandler:Whatdoesaguyhavetodotobetakenseriouslyaround

here?!

力

他在六楼表现不错

但这是十一楼

几乎是两倍

我明白,他继续在六楼吧

这样最好

但我们要找人，工作堆积如山

将文件放进碎纸机就当没收过

你真会说笑

为啥这里没有人认真对待我?

我给他一次机会但还是不行

他完全不行，我打电话给推荐他的厨师

那人说：哈哈!骗到你了

你今天不能辞退他

为什么？

我今天要跟他分手

你说他很细心

他很细心，过分细心

他一直打电话给我

你下班回家了吗?你的喷头没事吧?

就别接电话

他会上门

我好担心你，真婆妈

那我不可以辞退他?

不能令他受双重打击他会自杀

你再跟他约会一星期

开玩笑,再跟他一星期,我会自杀的

我们一起告诉他，他自会应付

好，问题是谁先开口，第二个说的人是八

婆

什么？

上司辞退刚失恋的人

八婆!跟刚失业的人说分手?

金发八婆

我早就想辞退他，所以我应该先说

合情合理

但……去你的!我先说

Toby,你有时间吗?

当然,干嘛

我一直希望想调到上面但我刚知道希望

落空

有人认为我不是十一楼的材料

究竟谁是Chandler?

今晚约会应该用什么藉口不喝酒

“我刚戒酒”“我是摩门教徒”

“昨晚喝得太醉，现在宿酒末醒”

今晚有节目吗?

有部不错的乌克兰电影，有兴趣吗?

不，但我会跟你看正常电影

Rachel,你想看吗?

不行,我有约会

[Scene:MonicaandChandler's,MonicaisinthekitchenasPhoebe

enters.]

Phoebe:Hey!

Monica:,Igavehimanotherchance,butTimhasgottogo!

Phoebe:But…

Monica:No!No-no!dthechefwho

,"Ha-ha!Gotcha!"

Phoebe:,butyoucan’tfirehimtoday.

Monica:Whynot?!

Phoebe:BecauseI’mdumpinghimtoday.

Monica:What?!Yousaidhewassweet!

Phoebe:’smeallthetime.

(Mimickinghim)"Sodid-didyougethomefromworkokay?""Did-did

yougetoutoftheshowerokay?"

Monica:Justdon’tpickupyourphone.

Phoebe:Thenhecomesover!(Mimickinghim)"I’msoworriedabout

you."Uck!Beaman!

Monica:What?SonowI’mnotallowedtofirehim?

Phoebe:Youcan’tfirehimanddumphimthesameday,he’llkill

himself.

Monica:Okaywellthen,I’llfirehimtodayandyougooutwithhim

foranotherweek.

Phoebe:Areyoukidding?!Anotherweekwiththatsip,I’llkill

myself!

Monica:Okaywell,thenwe’llbothdoittodayandhe’lljusthave

todealwithit!

Phoebe:questioniswho’sgonnagofirst.‘Cause

whoevergoessecondisthebitch.

Monica:Whatdoyoumean?

Phoebe:Comeon!Thebossthatfiresaguythat’sjustbeendumped,

bitch!Andthewomanwhodumpsaguythat’sjustbeenfired,blond

bitch!

Monica:IwantedtodothisdaysagosoIthinkIshouldgofirst.

Phoebe:Allright,thatmakessense.(Startstowardsthedoor.)Ugh.

But—ScrewyouI’mgoingfirst!(Shegrabsherpurseandrunsout.)

[Scene:Chandler’sOfficeBuilding,Bobisstandingattheelevators

andseesChandlerwalkup.]

Bob:HeyToby,yougotasec?

Chandler:Sure,what’sup?

Bob:Ijusthadameeting,Iwasactuallyhopingtogettransferred

uphere,ntlysomebody

thinksI’,whothehellisthis

Chandler?

[Scene:JoeyandRachel's,Rachelisgettingreadyforherdateand

Joeyisreadingamagazine.]

Rachel:Hey,whatdoyouthinkisabetterexcuseforwhyI’mnot

drinkingonthisdatetonight."Umm,I’marecoveringalcoholic.I’m

aMormon,"or"IgotsohammeredlastnightI’mstillalittledrunk?"

Ross:(enteringwithapizzaandbeer)Hey!

Rachel:Hi!

Joey:Hey!

约会?

对,你介意吗?

不，我毫不介意．这是人之常情

这很普遍……甚至有点无趣

这不是乌克兰电影

耳环

约会?她约了谁?

我安排她跟我那部片的演员

你安排的?

你在想什么?

我觉得没什么不妥

…因为Ross已经五年没跟Rachel约会

我不担心她，我只是担心胎儿

这位所谓演员带她们去哪?

嘿，我也是演员!

他们好像坐船去一间意大利餐厅

我的孩子要坐船?你知道有多危险吗?

你是说时速五公里的汽车渡轮?

他们为啥不坐飞机?那很好玩

或者点火柴?也很好玩

Hi,Joey

Hi,Kash,这位是Kash

Hi，听说你们会坐船

你们真的不怕死?

你认为这对太性感吗?Hi，Kash

Hi,Rachel,你准备好了吗?

对,再见了

玩得开心点．没错，是太性感

很高兴你打给我，我觉得总是我打给你

什么事?你没事吧?

我很快……会没事

Tim,你是个好人

那是因为跟你在一起

我现在正处于人生的…

抱歉，我看一下

餐厅有急事，Monica要我马上回去

不是，我知道是什么事，留下吧

我也会想念你

我会紧紧拥抱你……在心头

你想看什么电影?我不想再看书了

我从书上得知的

汽车杂志，杂物

…够了!

我们留在这里，别出外看电影了

干等Rachel约会回来?

若你想这样做,我不会反对

Ross，怎么了?

我想知道他们怎样

为什么？

那人有可能成为孩子的继父

只是上一次街,你就想到结婚?

Ross:So,whatdoyouwanttodotonight?There’saUkrainianfilm

attheAngelicathat’sted?

Joey:’llgoseeanormalpersonmoviewithya.

Ross:Rach?Youwannacome?

Rachel:Ohno,Ican’ate.

Ross:Adate?

Rachel:?Isthatweirdforyou?

Ross:Whyno,it’’s-it’suh,regular.

It’s-it’suh,it’’sactuallyuh,alittledull.

Joey:It’snoUkrainianfilm.

Rachel:Yeah—Ooh!Earrings!(Goesintoherroom.)

Ross:Adate?!She’s-she’sgotadate?!Withwho?

Joey:Isetherupwiththisactoronmyshow.

Ross:Yousetherup?!

Joey:No

Ross:Joeywhat-whatwereyouthinking?!

Joey:Well,Iwasthinkingthatit’dprobablybeokaybecauseRoss

hasn’tgoneoutwithRachelinfiveyears!

Ross:Joey,I’mnotworriedabouther!I’mworriedaboutmybaby!

Whoevershedatesmybabydates!Now-nowwhereisthis(makesthe

quote-markssign)actortakingthem?

Joey:Hey!I’man(doesthequote-marksthingaswell)actortoo!

I’they’retakingtheferryouttosomeItalian

placeonStatenIsland.

Ross:Aferry?Mybabyisgoingonaferry?Doyouhaveanyideahow

dangerousthoseare?!

Joey:Arewetalkingaboutoneofthosebigboatsthatcarrycarsthat

golikefivemilesanhour?

Ross:Whydon’ttheyjustjumpoutofanairplane?!Huh?!

That-that’safundate!Orburneachotherwithmatches?!That’s

funtoo!Whew!!

(There’saknockonthedoorandJoeyanswersit.)

Kash:HeyJoey.

Joey:,thisisKash.

Kash:Hey.

Ross:Hi.I-Ihearyou’regoingonaferrytonight.

Kash:Yeah.

Ross:Abitofadaredevilarewe?

Rachel:(enteringfromherroom)Heyguysdoyouthinkthisistoo

slutty—HiKash!

Kash:HeyRachel!Youreadytogo?

Rachel:Yeah!Allright,I’llseeyouguyslater.

Ross:reattimeyouguys.

Rachel:Thankyou.

Kash:Thankyou.

Ross:Yesitistooslutty!(JoeyslamsthedoorbeforeRachelcould

heartheentiresentence.)

CommercialBreak

[Scene:CentralPerk,PhoebeisreadingamagazineasTimenters.]

Tim:(walksbehindPhoebe)Hi!(Andstartlesher.)

Phoebe:Hi.

他不是你

我只是不敢相信她跟人约会

你以为她会怎样?

我不知道

我只是不敢相信

什么意思?

我想像再有孩子时一切会不同

我爱Ben，但每次送他回去给Carol和

Susan时

就令我心碎

我想像与妻子周日在床上……

…孩子进来跑上床我们一起看报纸

为看科学版而争执

情景很美,或者你仍可以拥有

不行,Rachel跟别人约会

我的孩子会跟她

令这情景越来越渺茫

我能问你吗?

你想像与妻子一起妻子是Rachel吗?

以前是的

现在没有面孔

不过身材一流

对！面孔，面孔不是Rachel

不．若然是，又会很易办吗?

我不觉得她想这样

我也知道我不能再逼自己爱上她

Ross，你需要新的情景

这不会如你想象一样

…但无论如何孩子会出世，是你的孩子

不管你怎想象

我们出去找点乐子

随便你怎说都可以

我们可以看乌克兰电影

我是说乐子

Hi,Toby

Hey,Bobby

我叫Bob

你在这工作

你知道ChandlerBing的办公室在哪里么

知道，就在……在那边

那边．我想问，什么回事?

我想跟那混蛋面对面说清楚

是我令你不能升职

Toby,拜托．

Bob

Toby，我不会让你维护他

这样只会令我更恼Chandler

真是令我左右为难

没事吧?

那得看情况

你跟Phoebe怎样?

Tim:Oh,I’ikeit’salwaysmecalling

,what’sup?IseverythingokaywithPhoebe?

Phoebe:Itwillbe…,Timyou’reareallygreat

guy.

Tim:It’sbecauseI’mwithyou.

Phoebe:Aw.(Phoebegetsabadtasteinhermouthwhenhelooksaway)

I’mjust—I’minaplaceinmyliferightnowwhereI…I…

(Tim’sbeepergoesoffandheanswersit.)

Tim:.(Lookingatit,likeanewscaster)Thisjustin.

(Phoebefakelaughs.)Oh,it’s9-1-1fromtherestaurant,thatmeans

Monicaneedsmerightaway.(Startstoleave.)

Phoebe:Oh-ohnoshedoesn’t!stay.

Tim:Awww,I’llmissyoutooPheebs.(Startstoleave)AndIwill

beholdingyou,righthere.(Holdshishandsoverhisheart,blows

akisstoPhoebewhocatchesit,andthenleavesandPhoebethrows

thekissback.)

[Scene:JoeyandRachel's,JoeyandRossarehavingdinner.]

Joey:Sowhatmoviedoyouwanttosee—AndnotanotheroneIhave

?Igetenoughofthatfrombooks.

Ross:Books?

Joey:Allright,carmagazines,cerealboxes,butit’slikeenough!

Ross:Well,’tweuh,whydon’twejuststay

here?Let’snotseeamovie,we’lljusthang.

Joey:AndjustwaitforRacheltocomebackfromherdate?

Ross:Hey,ifthat’swhatyouwanttodoI’mnotgonnasayno.

Joey:Dude!Whatisgoingon?!

Ross:Ijust…Ihavetofindouthowitwent.

Joey:Why?

Ross:Thisguycouldbemybaby’sstepfather!

Joey:Theygoononedateandyou’reworriedaboutthemgetting

married?!He’snotyou!

Ross:Ijust—I-Ican’tbelieveshe’s-she’sdating?!

Joey:WellRoss,whatdidyouthinkshewasgonnado?

Ross:Idon’tknow!IguessIjustcan’tbelieveanyofthisis

happening.

Joey:Whatdoyoumean?

Ross:It’sjustIalwaysthoughtwhenIhadanotherkiditwouldbe

-IloveBen,buteverytimeIhavetodrophimoff

atCarolandSusan’s,it’slike—

I’vealwayshadthispictureofmeandmynextwifeinbedonSunday

and,ll

readthepapertogether.Y’know?Maybefightoverthescience

section.

Joey:That’oucanstillhavethat!

Ross:No!NoIcan’achel’

hingthatpicturekeepsmovingfurtheraway.

Joey:Hey,canIaskyousomething?Inthis,inthispictureofyou

andyourwife,isyourwifeRachel?

Ross:doesn’’

bodythough.

Joey:,thefaceRoss,thefaceisn’tRachel.

很好,谢谢介绍我们认识

我很乐意．恐怕现在有件坏消息

Phoebe

Monica

你被解雇

我要和你分手

我要跟你分手

你被解雇了

对不起，我没准备好谈恋爱

我也很抱歉，但我做事有一套原则

我们之间没有火花

说得好,我们之间亦没有

哇，好吧

我知道自己感情太强烈但

只因为我觉得你很难得

我想感谢你给我工作机会

你是我共事过最有才华的厨师

不管如何

Tim，等等

我刚才冲口而出这工作需要时间浸泡

或者我们可以再试试

谢谢，我会改善的

Tim，我想说祝你工作顺利

Hello

Hi

约会如何?

我单独一人刚买了十五元朱古力条，你想

呢?

发生什么事?

我将怀孕一事告诉他

他接受不了?

比你好一点

但还是不行

哦?

接着他开始变得很怪，说

听说生痔疮很麻烦

真有趣

不是吗？

你想听笑话吗?坐下吧

你知道谁的乳名叫Muriel?

ChandlerMBing．哦，天啊

抱歉你约会不顺利

没关系

我受够约会了

我的人生将会改变

真是难受

另一方面七个月后你将会有一个……

…你疼爱有加珍而重之的宝贝

等那宝贝

第一次抓住你的手指

你现在不会明白

Ross:Nobutahh!Howmucheasierwoulditbeifitwere?

Joey:Iknow,butIdon’tthinkthat’swhatshewants.

Ross:No,it’-Ican’tforcemyself

tofallinlovewithheragainnow.

Joey:That’?It’snot

gonnabewhatyouthought,butnomatterwhatthere’sgonnabeabrand

newlittlebaby,eswhatthepicturelookslike?

Ross:Yeah.

Joey:Hey,’syouandmegooutandhavesome

?!

Ross:(checkshiswatch)WecanstillcatchthatUkrainianfilm.

Joey:No,Isaidfun!

[Scene:OutsideChandler’sOffice,Chandlerisjustabouttogointo

hisofficewhenBobcallsforhimfrombehind.]

Bob:HeyToby!

Chandler:HeyBobby.

Bob:It’,youworkuphere,canyoutellmewhere

thisChandlerBing’sofficeis?

Chandler:,it’s(Pointsdownthehall)right,right

downthere.(WhenhehasBoblookingdownthehall,heturnsaround

andknockshisnameplateoffofhisdoor.)Rightthere,

askyouwhy?

Bob:Iwanttotalktothatbastard,seewhathisproblemis.

Chandler:OkayBoblistenuhh,I’mthereasonyoudidn’tgetthe

jobuphere.

Bob:Tobydon’t.

Chandler:Bob!

Bob:Toby!I’ngyousayright

nowwilljustgetmemoreupsetwithChandler!

Chandler:Wellthatputsmeinadifficultposition.

[Scene:Monica’sRestaurantKitchen,MonicaiswaitingforTimwho

enters.]

Monica:Hey.

Tim:Igotyourpage,iseverythingokay?

Monica:Uhwellthatdepends,howarethingswithPhoebe?

Tim:Ohit’sgreat!It’sgreat!Thankyousomuchforintroducing

us!

Monica:,I’mafraidI’vegotsomebadnews.

(Phoebeenters.)Phoebe!

Phoebe:Monica!

Monica:(simultaneously)You’refired!

Phoebe:(simultaneously)I’mbreakingupwithyou!

Tim:What?

Phoebe:I’m,I’mbreakingupwithyou.

Monica:You’refired.

Tim:Why?

Phoebe:I’msorry,I’mjust—I’m…I’mjustnotreadyfora

relationshiprightnow.

Monica:Yeahand-andI’,wellIjust—Ilikethings

doneacertainwayandthechemistry’sjustnotright.

Phoebe:Ohthat’sgood,thechemistrythingforustoo.

谢谢

你想喝咖啡吗?

不,我想回家吃朱古力条

我以为你开心点了

我是,但里面有二十条

晚安

Ross?Hi，我是婚礼上的Mona

Hi

你好吗?

很好,但你还欠我一支舞

对啊，有兴趣看乌克兰电影吗?

你说真的，好

好极了，喂

我想再喝一杯咖啡

好,我帮你买

Bob?

Bob!

你在这里干什么?

我刚发现这是Chandler的办公室

Toby，帮我破坏

Tim:Wow!Umm,…(ToPhoebe)I-I-IrealizeIcameonalittle

strongbut,it’sonlybecauseIthinkyou’resoamazing.(ToMonica)

Anduh,I-Ijustwanna,IjustwannatellyouhowmuchIappreciate

yougivingmeanopportunityherebecauseI—you’rethemosttalented

chefI’…(StartstoleaveandPhoebeand

Monicatradelooks.)

Monica:Timwait!

Tim:Yeah?

Monica:Umm,-there’salearning

curvewiththisjobandmaybewecantryitagain.

Tim:Really?

Monica:Yeah.

Tim:Thankyousomuch!‘CauseI-IknowIcandobetter!

Monica:Okay.

(TheybothlookatPhoebe.)

Phoebe:AndTimIjustwannasay,goodluckhere.(Shakeshishand

andleaves,whichdisgustsMonica.)

[Scene:AStreet,RossiswalkingpastanewsstandandseesRachel.]

Ross:Hello.

Rachel:Hi!

Ross:Well,howwasthedate?

Rachel:WellI’maloneandIjustboughtfifteendollarsworthof

candybars,whatdoyouthink?

Ross:ppened?

Rachel:ImadethemistakeoftellinghimthatIwaspregnant.

Ross:Ah,hedidn’tuh,takeitsowell?

Rachel:Wellbetterthanyou,buty’knowstillnotwhatyouwant.

Ross:Oh?

Rachel:Hegotallweirdandsputteryandthenhesaiduh,"Yeah,I

hearthosehemorrhoidsareabitch."

Ross:Hesoundsswell.

Rachel:Doesn’the?

Ross:Hey,wanna…wannaalittlecheeringup?

Rachel:Yes.

Ross:Sitdown.

Rachel:Okay.

(Theysitonsomefrontsteps.)

Ross:GuesswhosemiddlenameisMuriel.

Rachel:(thinksthengasps)?

Ross:Yeah-ha!

Rachel:OhmyGod.(Laughs)

Ross:I’msorryaboutyourdate.

Rachel:Ohit’sallright.I’mguessI’mjustdonewiththewhole

’sonemorethinginmylifethat’ssuddenly

hard.

Ross:YeahIknow.(Pause)Ontheotherhandinum,inaboutseven

monthsyou’regonnahavesomethingthatyou’regonnalovemorethan

anyguyyou’tiluh,wait

enoidea.

Rachel:Thankssweetie.

Ross:Youwanna,youwannagrabsomecoffee?

Rachel:Ohno,IthinkI’mgonnagohomeandeattencandybars.

Ross:Hey,IthoughtIcheeredyouup.

Rachel:Ohyoudid,therearetwentyinhere.

Ross:ght.

Rachel:Goodnight.

(HekissesheronthecheekandheadstoCentralPerk.)

[Scene:CentralPerk,RossisenteringandMonafromthewedding

recognizeshim.]

Mona:Ross?

Ross:Yeah?

Mona:Heyit’sMona!Fromthewedding.

Ross:Ohhi!

Mona:Hi!

Ross:Wow!Uh…howareyou?

Mona:I’mgoodexceptumm,youstillowemeadance.

Ross:Ohthat’,wouldyoubeinterestedinseeing

aUkrainianfilm?

Mona:(laughsthenstops)Ohyou’!

Ross:Great!Wellumm…

(RosscontinuestotalktoherasthecamerapanstoshowRachel

standinginthedoorway.)

Mona:IthinkImightneedonemorecupofcoffee.

Ross:Sure!Uh,letmegetitforya.

Mona:Okay.

(Rachelwatchesthatandslowlybacksouttoheadforhome.)

,Sr.

ClosingCredits

[Scene:Chandler’sOffice,BobisransackingChandler’soffice.]

Chandler:(entering)!Bob!!!(Heturnsaround)Whatthehell

areyoudoing?!

Bob:IjustfoundoutthisisChandler’soffice!ComeonToby,give

meahand!

(Hethinksaboutitanddecidestojoininbyturningoverachair

andcontinueransackingtheplace.)

End

806TheOneWithTheHalloweenParty

806TheOneWithTheHalloweenParty

[Scene:CentralPerk,everyoneisthereasChandlerandMonicaenter.

Oh,andJoeyiswearingaFDNYT-shirttomakethisthefirstnodto

thetragedythatFriendshavemade.]

Monica:Heyyouguys?

Ross:What?

Monica:Iknowit’slastminute,butwedecidedtohaveaHalloween

party.

806万圣节舞会

你们知道吗?

什么？

我知道宣布得迟了

不过我们打算开一个万圣节派对

哦,好呀

太棒了

Phoebe:Ohgood!(Andthere’sgeneralexcitement.)

Monica:Andeverybodyhastowearcostumes.(Andthere’sgeneral

disconcertment.)Comeon!It’llbefun!

Ross:Well,I’ll-I’havetowearacostumeto

allmyclassesthatdayanywayso…

Rachel:Pleasetellmeyou’renotgonnadressuplikeadinosaur.

Ross:(exhalessarcastically)Nottwoyearsinarow.

Joey:Look,I’llcometothepartybutI’mnotdressingup.

Monica:Youhaveto!

Joey:Noway!Look,Halloweenissostupid!Dressingup,pretending

tobesomeoneyou’renot…

Chandler:You’reanactor!

Monica:SoRoss,areyougonnabringMona?

Ross:,IthinkIwill.

Joey:Thathotgirlfromtheirwedding?

Ross:Yeah.

Joey:Wellhey-heyifsheneedsanyideaforcostumes,shecouldbe

abikinimodel,orasluttynurse,orasexycheerleaderhuh—Ooh-ooh,

LeatherfacefromTheTexasChainsawMassacre—No-no-no!Slutty

Leatherface.

Phoebe:Nowwasn’tJoeyhittingonherattheweddingtoo?

Ross:That’sright!Hewashittingonher,

thebettermanwon.(ToJoey)Pleasedon’ttakeherfromme.

OpeningCredits

[Scene:AStreet,PhoebeiswalkingdownitandpassesUrsula.]

Phoebe:Ursula!(Ursulaturns,smiles,andcontinueswalking.)Wait!

Err-err,it’sme!Phoebe!

Ursula:Oh,,bye-bye.(Starts

towalkagain.)

Phoebe:Waitasecond!So,what’snewwithyou?

Ursula:Umm,,I’mgettingmarriednextweek.

Phoebe:What?!

Ursula:Yeah!Yeah,it’mily.

(Phoebelooksather.)His.

Phoebe:,I’mreallyhappyforyou.(Startstowalk

away.)

Ursula:Wait!Ifumm,ifyouwanttocome,Iguessthat’dbeokay.

Phoebe:Really?

Ursula:Sure!Whynot?Youcouldbemysisterfortheday.

Phoebe:,y’know,myfriendsarehavingaHalloween

partytonightatmyoldapartmentso,could

meettheguyyou’remarrying.

Ursula:,I’msupposedtobeworkingattherestaurant

tonight.I’msupposedtobeworkingrightnow,sowhocares.

Phoebe:Bytheway,it’sacostumeparty.

Ursula:Oh!Okay,sothat’swhyyou’re…(Motionstowhatshe’s

wearing.)

Phoebe:(looksdown)nks.(Walksaway.)

[Scene:MonicaandChandler's,TheHalloweenpartyhasstarted.

MonicaissettingoutsomefoodasRachelenters.]

Rachel:Hi!

是个化装派对哦

我可能不能来

来呀，会很好玩的

我是说，反正我那天都得在所有学生面前

化装，

所以也就……

别跟我说你又扮成恐龙

怎么可能两年都这样

我参加,但我不化装

你必须化装

不，万圣节很无聊

盛装打扮，假装你是别人？

你是演员

Ross，你会带Mona来?

应该会

婚礼上那个美女?

嘿，我可以给她一些参加化装舞会的建

议。她可以扮比基尼模特，

...风骚护士，或者性感的啦啦队队长

哦，哦，她可以装成《鬼驱人第三集》里

那个德州电锯杀人狂！不对，不对，

应该是风骚杀人狂

婚礼上Joey不是也迷上她了吗？

对，他对她是有兴趣

但是我得到了她。好男人赢得了青睐

求你别抢走她

Ursula

等等，是我，Phoebe

哦，我还以为那儿是面镜子呢。好吧，再

见

等等

你最近怎样?

没什么，我下星期结婚

什么?

我们会举行小仪式，只请家人

他的家人

好啊

我替你高兴

等等．若你想来，应该没问题

当然啦，为什么不呢？

你可以做我的姐妹

好的

嗯，对了，我的朋友们今晚要在

我以前住那所公寓开万圣节派对，

你来不来参加

或者可以见你的未婚夫

我今晚要回餐厅工作

现在也是我的上班时间

让工作见鬼去吧！

忘了说了,是化装派对

哦,行,怪不得你穿成这样……

Monica:Wait!You’resupposedtowearacostume!

Rachel:Iam!Iamawomanwhospentalotofmoneyonadressand

shewantstowearit,becausesoonshewon’tbeabletofitintoit.

Monica:Oh.

Rachel:Ahh!

Monica:I’mCatwoman,whowantstoborrowthedresswhenyou’retoo

bigforit.

Rachel:Okay.

(There’saknockonthedoor.)

Kids:Trickortreat!

Rachel:Oh!Oh!CanIgiveoutthecandy?Ireallywanttobewith

thekidsrightnow.Y’know,eversinceIgotpregnantI-Ihavethe

strongestmaternalinstincts.

Kids:Trickortreat!!

Rachel:(tothem)Justaminute!!!(Shetakesthecandyandopensthe

doortotwoparents,awitch,aclown,andacowgirl.)Lookatyou

guys!Wow!Youareaveryscarywitch.(Giveshercandy.)

Witch:Thankyou.

Rachel:Andyouareaveryfunnyclown.(Giveshimcandy.)

Clown:Thankyou.

Rachel:(tothecowgirl)Andyouaresoinstylerightnow.Y’know,

IworkatRalphLaurenandthewholefalllinehasgotthislike

’tsupposeyousawthecoverof

BritishVogue,but…

Cowgirl:(interrupting)CanIjusthavethecandy?

Rachel:.(Throwssomeinherbagandshewalksawayas

Phoebe,dressedasSupergirlwalksupandeyesMonicawhoeyesher

back.)

Phoebe:Ah,etagain.

Monica:SowedoSupergirl.

Phoebe:No,it’!

Chandler:(enteringfromthebedroomwearingabig,pinkbunny

costume)Monica!CanItalktoyouforasecond?Listen,Iappreciate

yougettingmethecostume…

Rachel:(ToMonica)Oh,youdidthistohim?

Monica:What?!Ithoughthe’dloveit!Hisfavoritekid'sbookwas

theVelveteenRabbit!

Chandler:TheVelveteenRabbitwasbrownandwhite!

Monica:Well,itwaseitherapinkbunnyornobunnyatall.

Chandler:Nobunnyatall!!Alwaysnobunnyatall!!!

Joey:(entering)Hey!

Monica:Youdidn’tdressupeither?!

Joey:YesIdid!I’mChandler.(LooksatChandler)Dude,what

happened?

Chandler:Howisthatme?

Joey:Okay.I’mChandler(makesagrowling/gurglingsoundattheend

andthegirlslaugh.)

Phoebe:(ToChandler)Thatissoyou!

Chandler:WhenhaveIeverdonethat?!

Joey:WhenhaveIeverdonethat?!(Anddoesthesoundagain.)

(There’saknockonthedoor.)

不是

不过谢谢你

等等,你怎么没有化装呢？

我有啊

我扮成花很多钱在衣服上的女人

...她想穿这裙子否则没机会穿

我是猫女郎

我想在你发福以后借你的裙子来穿

不给糖就捣蛋！

哦,哦,我来给他们发糖怎么样？

现在我特别想跟孩子们相处

怀孕激发了我的母爱本能

不给糖就捣蛋！

别吵！等会儿！

你们多可爱！

哇哦,你扮女巫好吓人呢

谢谢

多可爱的小丑

谢谢

而你

你的打扮正合潮流走向哦

我在拉夫·劳伦公司上班的，

我们整个秋季的主题都是骑士系列

你还没看过英国版《时尚杂志》的封面

吧……

就给我糖不行吗？

当然

啊，猫女郎，我们又见面了

没错，女超人

是我，Phoebe

Monica，我能跟你谈一下吗?

听着，我谢谢你帮我准备服装

你给他弄的？

不会吧？我以为他会喜欢的

他最喜欢的儿童书就是《天鹅绒兔》啦.

天鹅绒兔是棕色和白色的

可是，也可以是粉红色的兔宝宝

或者不像兔子嘛

就是不像兔子。一点都不像！

你也不化装？

我化了啊。我装成Chandler

各位，怎么了?

我怎会这样?

我是Chandler

他扮得很像

我几时这样来着？

我几时这副怪样了？

不给糖就捣蛋

哦，天哪，你是我见过最漂亮的芭蕾女郎

我再给你一块糖

谢谢

Girl:Trickortreat!

Rachel:Oh!(Opensthedoortorevealaballerina)Wellyou’rejust

theprettiestballerinaI’veeverseen.

Ballerina:Thankyou.(Pirouettes.)

Rachel:Ohwow!Thatdeservesanotherpieceofcandy.

Ballerina:Thankyou.(Doesanotherballerinamove.)

Rachel:Well,Ihavetosaythatearnstutupiecesofcandy.

Ballerina:Iloveyou!(HugsRachel.)

Rachel:Ohh…Oh,all.(Pourstheentirelarge

bowlintoherbagandclosesthedoor.)Monica!Weneedmorecandy?

Monica:What?!There’sonlybeenlikefourkids.

Rachel:YeahIknow,butoneofthemjustsaidthatshelovedmeso

Ijustgavehereverything.

Phoebe:Nowonderyourpregnant.

Ross:(entering)Hey!(He’swearingacostumeaswell.)

Rachel:Hey.

Monica:Whatareyousupposedtobe?

Ross:RemembertheRussiansatellite,Sputnik?(Theyalllookathim.)

Well,I’mapotatoora…searemyantennae.(Points

tothecolanderwithanoldTVantennagluedontopthathe’s

wearing.)SoSputnik,becomes…(They’restillconfused)Spud-nik.

Spudnik!

Chandler:Wow!Idon’thavetheworstcostumeanymore!

Joey:(seesRoss)Heyallright,Rosscameasdoody.

Ross:No,I-I’mnotdoody.

Monica:No,spacedoody!

(Joeygiveshimtheokaysymbol,andRossrushestowardshimtobe

ile,Phoebegoesovertothesnacktable

assomeguy,whichturnsouttobeUrsula'sfiancéeEric,walksin

andsmacksherbutt.)

Eric:Aren’tyougonnagivemeakiss?

Phoebe:Okay,htafteryoutellmewhothehellyou

are.

Eric:Ursula?

Phoebe:Ursula’sfiancée?

Eric:OhmyGod,you’rethesister!

Phoebe:Yeah.

Eric:Okay,Ijustslappedmyfuturesister-in-law’sass.

Phoebe:Yeah.

Eric:I’,isyourmotherhere?MaybeIcangiveher

alittleslaponthebutt.

Phoebe:Mymotherkilledherself.

Eric:She,nowIknewthatand…nowI’me,I’m

reallysweating—NowI’msaying,"Lookatme,"I’mgettingeven

Iprobablyshouldgo.

Phoebe:No-no!That’sokay,we’?Hi!I’m

Phoebe.

Eric:Eric.(Theyshakehandsandhe’,no,it’snot

me.)

Phoebe:Whyareyoulookingatmelikethat?

Eric:‘Causethesweat’sgettinginmyeyesanditsburning.

再送你几粒糖也应该

我爱你

小朋友，全部拿去吧

Monica?我们要多些糖

什么？才招待了四个小孩子呢

没错,我知道

可是刚才有个小孩说她爱我，

所以我全都给她了

怪不得你会弄大肚子

你是什么?

还记得苏联发射的第一颗人造地球

卫星史泼尼克吗?

我是一个土豆，或者叫我马铃薯

这里是我的天线

所以，史泼尼克就是……

土豆!

哇，我不是化装最滥的了

天啊!Ross扮成米田共

不,我不是米田共

是,星际米田共

好吧，我是史泼尼克

Hi，亲爱的

不给我一个吻?

哦我会的

但你先得告诉我你究竟是谁

Ursula?

Ursula的未婚夫?

天哪，你是她妹妹

我刚刚拍了我未来小姨子的屁股

我真是大笨蛋

你妈妈在这儿吗？也许我也该拍拍她的

屁股

我妈自杀了

啊,这事我原本是知道的……

我大汗淋漓

你瞧我，我都汗流浃背了，语无伦次；

我看我最好走了

我们重新来过好了

我叫Phoebe

我是Eric

Hi,你为啥这样看着我?

因为我眼睛里全被汗水糊住了

谢谢

给你

你是什么?

不知道我这个状态有没有正式的名字？

我很紧张，像疯子一样流汗

不,我是指你的装扮

我是一个太阳系

学生们帮我打扮成这样的。我教二年级

我喜欢二年级

Phoebe:Okay.(Handshimanapkin.)So,whatareyou?

Eric:Idon’’sjustIgetnervous;

Istartsweatinglikecrazy.

Phoebe:(laughs)NoI-Imeantyourcostume.

Eric:Ohumm,I’mthesolarsystem.(He’swearingablacksweater

withtheplanetsgluedonaroundthesun.)Yeah,mystudentshelped

memakeit—Iteachthesecondgrade.

Phoebe:Ilovethesecondgrade!

Eric:Really?

Phoebe:Yeah!It’ssomuchbetterthanfirstgradewhenyoudon’t

knowwhat’sgoingonanddefinitelybetterthanthirdgrade.Y’know

withallthepoliticsandmindgames.

Eric:Sowhatdoyoudo?

Phoebe:Umm,I’mamasseuse…byday.(Standswithherhandsonher

hipslikeaSupergirlpose.)

Eric:Y’knowyoudon’thavetostandherewithme,believeme…

Phoebe:NoI’mhavingfun.I’mreally—AndI’mreally-really

excitedforyouandUrsula.

Eric:OhIfeelverylucky,she’she’sthemost

beautifulwomanI’veeverseen.

Phoebe:Thankyou.

[Timelapse,MonicaisgoingovertotalktoJoey.]

Monica:HeyJoey?

Joey:Yeah.

Monica:Youreadcomicbooksright?

Joey:Exclusively.

Monica:Whodoyouthinkwouldwininafight,CatwomanorSupergirl?

Joey:Catwoman,handsdown.

Monica:Yeah…

Joey:ButbetweenyouandPhoebe,I’dhavetogivetheedgetoPhoebe.

Monica:What?!Really?!

Joey:Areyoukiddin’??Plus,she’s

—She’snotstandingrightbehindmeis

she?

Monica:Noyou’refine.(Joeychecksanyway.)Allrightwell,doyou

thinkIcouldtakeRachel?

Joey:I’mnotsure.

Monica:What?!ComeonIamtough!Punchmerighthere!(Herstomach)

Ashardasyoucan!

Joey:Willyourelax?!Whatareyoutakingthissoseriouslyfor?It

doesn’tmatter.

Monica:Ohreally?Okay?WellwhatwouldyousayifItoldyouthat,

y’know,RossorChandlercouldbeatyouup?

Joey:Iwouldsay,"Woman,please!"

Phoebe:(walkingover)’sfiancéeisreallysweet!He’s

ateacher,hedoesallthisvolunteerwork.Y’knownormallyy’know,

Idon’sone?Icouldjustmophim

up!

Monica:OhmyGod,Phoebe!

Phoebe:What?

Monica:You’regettingacrushonyoursister’sfiancée.

真的?

是啊！比懵懂无知的一年级好得多啦！

而且也三年级好得多！

充斥着政治斗争和勾心斗角

那么,你是做什么的呢？

嗯,我是按摩师,白天给人按摩

你没必要一直陪着我

我不勉强,跟你交谈我很愉快

另外我真的,真的为你和乌苏拉开心

我很幸运。她是个好女人

我认为她是我见过最美的女人

谢谢夸奖

Hi,Joey

干嘛

你看漫画书吗?

有选择性地看

你认为猫女郎还是女超人会赢?

猫女郎有十成的把握

但你和Phoebe?

我不得不认为Phoebe胜算大一点

什么？你这话当真？

你开玩笑？

菲比和各种人打交道，对吧？她又有股疯

劲儿

她没有站在我后面吧?

没有，你放心

你认为我能打败Rachel吗?

难说

什么?来试试看！我很强！

你尽全力给我来一拳！

别紧张．你为啥这么认真?这只是小事

真的?若我跟你说：Ross和Chandler可以

打败你?

我会说，“女人，随你怎么说。”

Ursula的未婚夫太可爱了

他是教师，经常做义工

你们都知道，我通常不喜欢可爱型的男人

但他呢，我真想一口把他吃掉

哦,天哪,Phoebe

什么？

你居然迷上了你姐姐的未婚夫

不，我没有！你才迷上了他呢！

早说过她有股疯劲儿了

不给糖就捣乱

你好，小宝贝儿，我得告诉你

我们的糖发光了，已经派人去买了

我呢……可以发钱给你，不过钱包里也没

有了

这样好不好，我开张支票给你？

你叫什么名字?

LeilaniMeeholanofavich

Phoebe:NoI’mnot!Youare!

Joey:(ToMonica)Herecomesthetemper.

(There’saknockonthedoorandRachelopensittoalittlegirl.)

Girl:Trickortreat!

Rachel:Hi!Y’knowwhathoney,we’reactuallyoutofcandyright

eonejustwentouttogetsomeandIhavebeengivingout

moneybutI’,canIwriteyouacheck?

Girl:Okay!

Rachel:Okay,what’syourname?

Girl:LelaniMayolanofavich.

Rachel:Okay,I’mjustgonnawritethisouttocash.

Mona:(entering)Hi!

Rachel:HeyMona!

Chandler:Oh!Hi!

Mona:Hi!

Chandler:Joey’sgonnabethrilled!Hewashopingyou’dcomebyas

asluttynurse.

Mona:Umm,actuallyI’mjustanurse.

Chandler:You’dthinkthatwouldembarrassme,butyouseeI’mmaxed

out.

Ross:Hey!

Mona:Hi!

Ross:Youmadeit!

Mona:Wait-wait!You’reumm,you’reapotato…

Ross:Well,I’maspud…

Mona:Andtheantennae…OhmyGodyou’reSpudnik!

Ross:Yes!

Chandler:(ToRoss)Marryher.

[CuttoJoeyandMonica.]

Joey:Okay,here’hinkwouldwinina

fightbetweenRossandChandler.

Monica:Ican’tanswerthat!Chandler’smyhusband.

Joey:SoRoss?

Monica:Yeah.

[CuttoPhoebeandEric.]

Eric:Heybeautiful.

Phoebe:Hellohandsome.(SeesUrsulaoverhershoulder)OhGod.(Walks

awayinshameastheykiss.)didyouguys

meet?

Eric:Twoweeksago.

Phoebe:Twoweeks?That’sit?

Eric:Yeah,Iknowitsoundscrazy,andit’snotlikemetodo

somethingsoimpulsive,butshe’sjustsoperfect,andwehaveso

muchincommon.

Phoebe:Ohreally?

Eric:We’rebothteachers.

Phoebe:Huh?(UrsulamotionsforPhoebetokeepquiet.)

Eric:AndwewerebothinthePeaceCorps.

Phoebe:PeaceCorps,really?(Ursulamotions,"Idon’tknow.")

Eric:InfactwhenwewerebuildinghousesinUruguay,wewere,we

werejusttwotownsapartandwenevermet.

好，我写现金支票吧

Hi，Mona

Joey一定很兴奋他希望你扮成性感护士

其实，我只是护士

你以为我这副打扮会无地自容，

实际上我拿了最高分

你好

嘿,你来了

等等,你这是,嗯……你装成了土豆

是啊,我是马铃薯……

还戴着天线……天哪，你是史泼尼克!

娶她吧

好，我想到一个问题问你

Ross和Chandler两人打架谁会胜出?

我不好说，Chandler是我的丈夫

答案是Ross?

是

Hey,美人

Hello,帅哥

天啊

哦，看你们俩。你们几时认识的？

两周前

就两个星期而已？

是啊，听来很疯狂，

看不出我这样的人会干出这么冲动的事

吧

但她实在太完美,而且我们有太多共同点

哦,是吗?

我们都教书

而且我们都参加了和平队

和平队,真的?

我们在乌拉圭兴建房屋时相遇

我们就隔着两个镇子，却从未见过面

是啊。我到哪儿的时候那里还没建镇呢，

我走的时候才算是个镇子

我们来个一醉方休怎么样？

好

Hi，米田共

真好笑

你呢，你的装束是今天派对上最有趣的，

他老婆让他穿成这样

轻松点，老兄，放轻松点。你脸红脖子粗

估计我们讨论的问题马上就要见分晓了

什么问题?

我们在谈你和Ross打架谁会赢

这不用多问

你也认为是Ross?

你选了Ross?

Ross很强壮

他是你们当中最强壮的，除了Joey

不敢相信你居然不选我

Ursula:’tatownwhenIgotthere,butitwasatown

whenIleft.(ToEric)Shallwegetmereallydrunk?

Eric:Sure.

(Theywalkaway.)

[CuttoMonaandRosswalkingpastChandler.]

Chandler:Howdydoody.

Ross:That’.Y’knowyou’rethefunniestmanherein

apinkbunnycostumehiswifemadehimwear.

Chandler:Ohrelaxman,’relookingalittleflushed.

Joey:(ToMonica)Hey-hey-hey,Ithinkwemightfindouttheanswer

toourquestion.

Chandler:Whatquestion?

Joey:MonicaandIweretalkingaboutwhocouldkickwhoseassina

fight,youorRoss?

Chandler:There’snoquestion.

Joey:SoyouthinkRosstoo?

(Monicaturnsaroundslowly.)

Chandler:(ToMonica)YoupickedRoss?!

Monica:Rossisreallystrong!Okay,he’sthestrongestoutofall

threeofyou!(Joeylooksather.)ExceptforJoey.

Chandler:Icannotbelieveyoudidn’tpickme.

Ross:Uh,inherdefense,she’destroy

you.

Chandler:Ohreally?!Youthinkyou’restronger?Whydon’tyouprove

it?(HepushesRosswhostartstofallbackwardsuntilMonacatches

him.)

Ross:OhI’llproveit!I’llproveitlikeatheorem!!

(TheystarttofightwithRosspullingonChandler’searsand

ChandlerhittingRossovertheheadwithhiscarrot.)

Monica:Wait-wait!!Okay,stopit!Stopit!Stop!(Breaksitup.)Now

listen,noone’sgonnafightinthisapartment.

Joey:HeyMonica!(Grabsherandpullsherintothelivingroom.)

Peoplecametoseeafight,let’sgive‘emwhattheycamefor!

Mona:Hey,youguyscouldarmwrestle.

Joey:tothesluttynurse.

Chandler:(ToRoss)You’regoingdown.

Ross:Ohyeah?You’regoingfurtherdown!Downtown!

Joey:Seriouslyguys,thetrashtalkisembarrassing.

CommercialBreak

[Scene:MonicaandChandler's,thepartycontinueswithRachel

leaningonthecounterasGuntherwalksincarryingcandy.]

Rachel:OhGunther!Youbroughtcandy!Thankyousomuchforpicking

thisup!Youaresosweet.

Gunther:Really?

Rachel:Honey,somedayyouaregonnamakesomemantheluckiestguy

intheworld.

(There’saknockonthedoor.)

Kid:Trickortreat!

Rachel:Gottago!(Opensthedoortoaboyinacape.)Hi!Wow!There

yougo!(Handshimsomecandy.)

BoyintheCape:MyfriendLewistoldmeyouweregivingoutmoney.

我认为她没选错

我比你强壮，我会打败你

真的?你认为比我强壮?证明一下吧

我会证明!让全世界知道

好吧!停手

停手!不准在这里打架

Monica，大家都是来看打架的

让他们打，别让大家失望

你们可以掰手腕

对,听性感护士的话

你必败无疑

是吗?你将一败涂地

我说真的，两位，光说不练可叫人尴尬

Gunther，你拿糖果上来．谢谢

你太好人了

真的?

对啊，以后哪个男人碰到你可就有福气了

我要走了

不给糖就捣蛋

Hi!哇!给你

我朋友说你给钱

刚才是，但现在有糖果

我宁愿要钱

可，这可由不得你选。万圣节快乐

这不公平

对，你披个斗篷我就得白给你东西

这可真是太不公平了

闭嘴

你闭嘴

你不能叫我闭嘴

呃……我想我就是说了,还有——

呃，哦，我还说：闭嘴

我应付得来

等等我还有一件事跟你说，闭嘴

你这个吝啬的老女人

哦，别跑。别这样，闭嘴

我是说，你别哭啊

我拿支票簿来了

宝贝，你没必要在乎，对吧？

是你内在的力量吸引了我

就是说，你忠诚老实，你诚实

这些才是我爱的品质

我不吃这套。来吧

Hi,骗子

Hey

他娶你的唯一理由是他认为你说的话是

真的

有可能是真的嘛

但现在不是

对啊，两者有区别对吧？

你为啥骗他

Rachel:Ohyeah,wewerebutumm,nowwe’vegotcandy.

BoyintheCape:I’dratherhavethemoney.

Rachel:Well,that-that’alloween!

BoyintheCape:Thisisn’tfair.

Rachel:WellisitfairthatallyoudidwasputonacapeandIgotta

giveyoufreestuff?

BoyintheCape:Shutup!

Rachel:Youshutup!

(Theganggetsinterestednow.)

BoyintheCape:Youcan’ttellmetoshutup!

Rachel:Uh,-oh,

up!

Joey:Rach?

Rachel:(ToJoey)YeahIknow—I’mgood—Igotit!(Joeyslowlybacks

away.)(Totheboy)Nowwaitaminute,I’vegotonemorethingIhave

tosaytoyou…ohright!Shutup!

BoyintheCape:You’reameanoldwoman.(Runsaway.)

Rachel:No!Waitno!Shutup—Imeandon’tcry!Letmegetmy

checkbook!(Grabshercheckbookandrunsafterhim.)

[CuttoMonaandJoeyclearingthediningroomtableforthegrudge

matchbetweenChandlerandRoss.]

Monica:(ToChandler)Lookhoney,youdon’thavetodothis,okay?

It’’re

loyal,you’rehonest,andyouhaveintegrity!That’sthekindof

strengththatIwantinthemanthatIlove!

Chandler:Thatmeansnothingtome.(ToRoss)Comeon!

[Scene:TheHallway,PhoebeisexitingMonicaandChandler’s,and

findsUrsulastandinginthehallwaysmoking.]

Phoebe:Hiliar!

Ursula:Hey!

Phoebe:Y’knowtheonlyreasonhe’smarryingyouisbecausehe

thinksallthethingsyouweresayingaboutyourselfweretrue.

Ursula:Welltheycouldbetrue.

Phoebe:Butthey’renot!

Ursula:Yeah,it’safinelinehuh?

Phoebe:Whyareyoulyingtohim?

Ursula:Idon’hedidallthisstuffandthenIsaid

Ididittooandhegotsoexcited,itwasreallyfun.

Eric:(entering)Honey?

Ursula:(wavingthecigaretteinPhoebe’sface)It’safilthy,

disgustinghabitandIwantyoutoquitnow!

Eric:She’shelpedsomanypeopletoquitsmoking.

Ursula:Y’know,we’dreallybettergetgoing.

Eric:Ohright,you’vegotachurchgroupmeetingtonight.

Ursula:Right.(Walksdownthestairs.)

Eric:(ToPhoebe)Well,itwasnicemeetingyou.

Phoebe:ula?!Itwasreallynicemeetingyoutonight!!

Joey:(entering)Pheebscomeon!!We’rewaiting!

(Theygoinside.)(ToChandlerandRoss.)ys,onematch,

winnertakeall.(Theygraspeachother’shandinpreparationfor

battle.)Ohwait-wait!Whatdoesthewinnerget?

我不知道

他说了他的经历我就说我也干过那些事，

他惊喜交加，让我觉得很有趣

抽烟太丑恶太令人厌恶啦，你赶紧给我戒

烟！

她帮助过很多人成烟

我说，我们该走了

晚上你还得上教堂呢

对啊

好吧,很高兴见到你

我也是

还有,Ursula，今晚见到你真是——太高

兴啦

来!兔子对米田共，好瞧

好，一盘定胜负

慢着，胜方有什么?

自尊

尊严

好吧，如果你们硬要提升到这个高度的话

好吧，准备，开始

加油，加油

哇,他们都很强呢

或者同样脆弱

天啊，Chandler的表情好象他做爱的时候

哦

你累了吧？

不累,我整天跟你扳手腕都没问题

我也可以

但我有点累

神啊,我筋疲力尽

这真是越来越难堪

Mona……她站在那边

她跟Joey说话

你得让我赢

等等，无论如何你得让我赢

不然我老婆会以为我没用

嘿，至少你娶到老婆了

我却一再离婚，让人望而却步

而且我扮成米田共

你是史泼尼克.

得了吧,少自欺欺人。我是米田共

求你了，她看着呢

好吧

欧,不

欧

你是我的英雄

你真怪，女士

Ursula把包忘在这里了

祷告组的所有成员的联系电话都在这里

边呢

那是

Ross:Pride.

Chandler:Anddignity.

Joey:(laughing)Okay,ht,ready?Set!Go!

(Theystartwrestling,onlytheyareunabletomoveeitherone’sarm

despiteahugestrainontheirfacesandacheeringcrowd.)

[TimeLapse:thecrowdhasleftandonlyMona,Monica,Joey,andPhoebe

arestillwatchingtoseewhowillbeabletomovetheother’sarm

tthathasyettohappen.]

Mona:(ToJoey)Wow!They’rebothreallystrong.

Joey:Orequallyweak.

Monica:(ToPhoebe)OhGod!

Phoebe:Hmm?

Monica:Chandler’smakinghissexface.

(BasicallyChandler’sfacelookslikehe’snotallthereandis

staringoffintothedistance…)

Ross:(ToChandler)So,yougettin’tired?

Chandler:Nope!Icandothisallday.

Ross:Yeah?Metoo.(Pause)Gettin’alittletiredthough.

Chandler:God,I’mexhausted.

Ross:?Mona,

Mona’sstandingrightoverthere.(Looksbehindhim.)OhGod,she’s

talkingtoJoey!Yougottaletmewin!

Chandler:Noway!Ifanythingyou’vegottaletmewin!Mywifethinks

I’mawimp!

Ross:Hey,atleastyouhaveawife!I-Ikeepgettingdivorcesand

knockin’peopleup!AndI’mdressedasdoody.

Chandler:You’reSpudnik.

Ross:Comeon,whoarewekidding?I’?She’s

watchin’.

Chandler:Fine.(HeletsRosswin.)Ohno!

Ross:(celebrating)Ohyeah!

Mona:(clapping)Yay!Myhero!

Joey:(toher)You’reaweirdlady.

Eric:(entering)saidsheleftherpurse.

Phoebe:Oh.

Eric:(findsit)llthenumbersofthepeople

inherprayerchain.

Phoebe:,yeah.

Eric:Well,IguessI’llseeyouatthewedding.(ExitsandPhoebe

followshimintothehall.)

Phoebe:Ummlisten,Idon’tthink…Idon’tthinkI’mgonnamake

twanttowishyoualltheluckintheworld.

Eric:Ithinkwe’sit’ssoperfectand

(whispering)she’sbeensavingherselfforme.

Phoebe:OkayIcan’tletyoudothis!She’slyingtoyou.

Eric:What?

Phoebe:Sheislying!me.(Shegrabs

Ursula’spurseandstartsgoingthroughitandfindssomepapers.)

—Notaprayerchain,butwhatlookslikeadetailed

drawingofabankfloorplan.(Holdsuphernametag.)Okay,here’s

thenametagfromtherestaurantwheresheworksasawaitress!Not

好吧，我们婚礼上见

嗯，我大概不会去……

参加婚礼，祝你幸福

然后我给你一条建议，

是我给每个要结婚的人的

算了,我不能眼看你受骗。她在骗你

什么？

她撒谎，我可以证明给你看

看，你看。并不是什么祷告小组

只是银行地面设计详图

看，这是她在餐厅做女侍的姓名牌

不是什么老师，是个女侍应

好，找到她的驾照了

这下叫她现形，她从来不说真实年龄

她说自己多少岁?

她说自己二十五岁

哦，我不该叫你看这个

（意识到此举等于暴露自己的年龄。）

你只要记住我比她年轻一分钟就够了

我真傻

她的确在撒谎

她不是教书的

天方夜潭，她怎么可能在

高度保密的小学里教小孩当间谍呢

不，你不笨

但我也不聪明

我只是平生头一次想跟着感觉走，

想浪漫一点

你可以跟着感觉走，你可以罗曼蒂克

只不过……只不过你遇人不淑罢了

什么？

奇怪,两个外表如此相象的人……

如此不同

Eric!我们走吧

我要去面对

没错

快点！我还要去祷告呢！

我给那孩子五十元他才不哭

也不是那么糟糕

我还不得不装成他女朋友陪他兜了一大

圈

哦，我应付不了小孩

别这么说，你擅长跟小孩打交道

小孩子就是万圣节时玩得疯一点，

贪得无厌的索要糖果

是吗？仅此而已？

没错

万圣节时最糟

圣诞节除外，他们的生日也够呛

夏天他们也不老实

还有饿了或者困了的时候，也安分不了

ateacher,ht,here’sherdriverlicense,this

oughtabegood,didshesayshe

was?

Eric:Shetoldmeshewas25.

Phoebe:Oh,Ialmostdon’twanttoshowthis.(Handsittohim.)Just

rememberI’maminuteyounger.

Eric:seshewaslying!She’snotateacher.

There’snotsuchathingasthetopsecretelementaryschoolforthe

childrenofspies.

Phoebe:’renot,you’renotstupid.

Eric:I’mnotsmart.(Phoebehasnocomeback.)Ijustwantedsomuch

to…mantic.

Phoebe:That’sgood,youshouldbeimpulsiveandyoushouldbe

…youdiditwiththewrongperson.(Helooksather.)

What?

Eric:It’sjustsoweird,twopeoplelooksomuchalike,andso

different.

Ursula:(yellingfromdownstairs)Eric!!Let’sgo!!

Eric:I’dbettergo,deal…

Phoebe:Yeah,youshould.(Theyshakehands.)

Ursula:HurryupIgottapray!!

(PhoebehandsEricUrsula’spurseandhewalksaway.)

[TimeLapse:Rachelisreturningfromchasingdowntheboyinthe

cape.]

Joey:Hey!

Rachel:Hey!Well,Ihadtogivethekidfiftybuckstostopcrying.

Joey:That’snotsobad.

Rachel:No,Ialsohadtogotoacouplehouseswithhimashis

,Iamjustawfulwithchildren!

Joey:Comeon!You’’rejustcrazyon

Halloween.Y’know,they’reallgreedyandhoppeduponsugar!

Rachel:Really?Youthinkthat’sallitis?

Joey:Absolutely!forChristmas…and

anytimethey’rehungryorsleepy.Y’know,ck

withthat.(Walksaway.)

ClosingCredits

[Scene:MonicaandChandler's,ChandlerandMonicaarestandingin

thekitchen.]

Monica:Look,IwantedtotellI’m-I’msorryyoulost.

Chandler:Listen,I’mwin.

Monica:(laughs)Isthatasecretoralie.

Chandler:No,Ilethimwin—Ross!

Ross:Yeah?

Chandler:WouldyoutellherIletyouwinplease?

Ross:.(Sarcastically),

Chandler’e!(Waddles

overtoMona.)

Chandler:Iamstrong!I’llshowyou!(Hesitsdownatthetable.)

Monica:Chandlerplease!

Chandler:Ohwhat’sthematter?Areyouscared?

是啊，小孩子难对付

祝你好运

我想告诉你，你输了我好遗憾

听着，告诉你一个秘密

我高抬贵手让他，他才赢的

那是悄悄话还是谎话?

不,我让他……Ross?

什么？

你可否告诉她是我让你赢的

Chandler让我胜出

不，Chandler好强壮哦

哦，我的胳膊快断了……哦，护士！

我就是强壮。我证明给你看

Chandler，算了吧

哦，怎么了。怕了吧？

放马过来吧，兔宝宝！

一二三，开始!

我要自杀

我就是强壮。我证明给你看

Chandler，算了吧

哦，怎么了。怕了吧？

放马过来吧，兔宝宝！

一二三，开始!

我要自杀

Monica:Let’sgobigbunny!

(Theyassumethestartingposition.)

Chandler:Okay.1…2…3—Go!(Onceagainhe’satastalemate,but

thistimehe’sinpain.)(Pause)I’mgonnakillmyself!

End

807TheOneWithTheStain

807TheOneWithTheStain

[Scene:MonicaandChandler's,Chandlerissittinginthelivingroom

asMonicaenters.]

Monica:Hey.

Chandler:Hey.

(Monicanoticessomething.)

Monica:OhmyGod!Youcleaned!(Gasps)Lookatthesefloors!Youdid

thewindows!Oh,Ihavebeenbeggingyouformonthsandyoudid!You

cleaned!Andnaggingworks!

Chandler:Y’knowuh,Ididn’tactuallydothis.

Monica:Ohno,wasIcleaninginmysleepagain?

Chandler:No,itwasn’tyou.

Monica:Wellthenwho?

Chandler:!

Monica:(shocked)Ihopebymaidyoumeanmistress,becauseifsome

otherwomanwasherecleaningthen…

Chandler:Uhhoney,Iknowyoudon’tliketorelinquishcontrol…

Monica:Oh,relinquishisjustafancywordforlose!

Chandler:Look,she’?Andshementionedthatshe

adoredthewaythatyouarrangedthesponges.

Monica:Didshereallysaythat?

Chandler:Yes,Idistinctlyremember‘causeIthoughtitwasajoke.

Nowjustgiveherachance,okay?

Monica:Fine,Icandoit.(Getsanxious.)Whew.

Chandler:What’sthematter?

Monica:Well,usuallywhenI’mthisanxious,Iclean!

OpeningCredits

[Scene:CentralPerk,Ross,Rachel,andPhoebearethereassomeone’s

cellphonestartstoringwithoneofthosefancyringtones.]

Phoebe:(lookingaround)Who’scellphoneisthat?It’sjustso

annoying;everywhereyougo.

Ross:Ithinkit’scomingfromyourbag.

Phoebe:(checks)Inevergetcalls!!(Answersthephone)Hello?

Eric:Hi,it’eHalloweenparty,Ursula’sfiancée.

Phoebe:OhmyGodErichi!Wait,how’dyougetthisnumber?

Eric:Oh,Ihaveafriendwho’sacopandhegotitforme.

Phoebe:Wow!Whatanincredibleviolation—andwonderfulsurprise.

Eric:Uhlisten,Ijust—IthoughtyoushouldknowIbrokeupwith

807墨水印

哦，天啊，你做打扫了!

看看这地板

你还抹了窗!我叫了你几个月，终于清洁

了

-叨唠是有用的!

不,其实不是我做的

哦，不，难道又是我梦游时清洁的?

不，不是你

那是谁?

我请了女佣

希望你是指家庭主妇

若其他女人在这里打扫……

我以为你不喜欢放任自流

那只是失控的委婉词

她真的很在行

她还提过喜欢你放海绵的位置

她真的这样说?

我清楚记得我还以为那是笑话

给她一次机会,好吗?

好吧

什么回事?

通常我不安时就会打扫

谁的手机?真烦，无处不在

好像是从你的手袋传出来的

从没有人打电话给我

喂?

Hey，我是艾瑞克，万圣节派对的那个人

苏娜的未婚夫

你好，慢着，你怎知道号码?

我有个朋友是警察，他找给我的

哇，居然侵犯私隐但侵犯得好

我刚跟苏娜分手了

哦，是吗?他做了，他做了！

他做什么了?

嘘!别吵,我在谈电话

我想知道你是否会吃午饭?

Ursula.

Phoebe:Ohyoudid?(ToRachel)Hedidit!Hedidit!

Rachel:Wow!Whatdidhedo?

Phoebe:Shhh!I’mtalking.

Eric:Anyway,Iwaswonderingif,youwerethesortofpersonwho…eats

lunch.

Phoebe:Areyouaskingmeout?‘Causeitwouldbekindaweirdsince

youjustbrokeupwithmysister.

Eric:Yeahuh…okay.I’m-I’.

Phoebe:No!Wait!Iwasjustsayingthatsoyou’dthinkIwasagood

orme.

Eric:Uhh,Iwon’ttakenoforananswer.

Phoebe:Notgreat,,Icanbeat

yourapartmentintwohours.

Eric:Great!Butwh-wh—HowdoyouknowwhereIlive?

Phoebe:I’,bye.

Eric:Bye.

(Shehangsup.)

Phoebe:OhmyGod!I’mgoingoutwithEric!Ooh,thisdayisreally

,I

can’tmakelunch.(Exits.)

Ross:SoapparentlyI’mavailableforlunch.

Rachel:Ican’t.I’mbusy.I’mapartmenthunting.

Ross:You’removing?

Rachel:Yeah,Ican’’t

wantmychild’sfirstwordstobe,(inababy’svoice)"Howyou

doin’?"

Ross:Sodoes-doesJoeyknowyou’removing?

Rachel:Well,Ihaven’tdiscusseditwithhimyet,butIknowhe’s

ek,hebroughtthisgirloverandIstarted

talkingtoheraboutmorningsicknessandthenIshowedherpictures

frommypregnancybook.

Ross:That’snotreallyporn.

Rachel:Notsomuch.

Ross:Hey,y’knowwhatandifyou’relookingforaplace?Ijust

heardintheelevatorthismorningthatawomaninmybuildingdied.

Rachel:OhmyGod!Wassheold?Doesshehaveaview?

Ross:WellIdon’tknow,buthow-howgreatwouldthatbehuh?You

me

overwheneverIwant.(Rachellooksathim.)Withyourpermission.

Rachel:Yeahthatwouldreallybegreat.

Ross:Yeah.

Rachel:Wellcanweseeit?!Ohmaybeweshouldn’fshe

justdiedthismorningoutofrespect.

Ross:’reright.

(Pauseastheybothtakeanothersipofcoffee.)

Rachel:Shallwe?

Ross:Yeah.

(Theybothexit.)

[Scene:Ross’sBuilding,theyareapproachingtheapartmentofthe

ocksonthedoorandawomananswersit.]

你想约我上街?

那会很怪，因为你刚跟我姐分手

对，好吧，对不起，再见

慢着!我想你觉得我善解人意

努力争取我

我不接受你拒绝

不很好，但午饭时可以改善

我两小时内可到你家

你怎知道我住哪里?

我也有朋友

好，再见

天啊!我跟艾瑞克约会

今天真是鸿运当头

哦，Ross，我不能跟你吃饭

似乎我可以约人吃饭

不行，我忙着找房子

你要搬家?

孩子出世后我不能住在Joey家

我不想孩子的一句话是“你好吗”?

Joey知道你要搬家吗?

我还没有跟他商量，但我知道他会觉得如

释重负

上星期，他带女孩回家我跟她谈起晨吐

还给她看我的生育书籍

那不是色情书

不是

若你想找地方我今早听说大厦一个女人

去世

天啊，她年纪多大?有景观吗?

那会很好．你住在我的大厦

我会帮你照顾孩子随时来都可以……

只要你准许

那太好了．我们可以去看吗?

不太好吧她今早才去世，太不敬了

对，你说的对

我们去吧?

好

什么事?

我叫纪Ross，住在这座大厦

我叫Rachel，这座大厦的倾慕者

听说云太太今早去世请节哀顺便

她没有去世

什么

我妈妈还在

谢天谢地

今早以为她挨不住但她很坚强

你跟她熟悉吗?

当然熟悉．她和我经常

在洗衣间聊天

你会说荷兰文?

我会，但太难过了

ven'sDaughter:Yes?

Ross:Hi.I’nthebuilding.

Rachel:AndI’mRachel,anadmirerofthebuilding.

Ross:venpassingawayandI’msosorry

foryourloss.

ven'sDaughter:Shedidn’tpass.

Ross:What?

ven'sDaughter:Mymother’sstillalive.

Ross:Oh,thankGod!

ven'sDaughter:Itlookedlikeweweregonnaloseherthis

morning,butshe’satougholdbird.

Rachel:Ahh.

ven'sDaughter:Areyouclosewithher?

Ross:Ofcourse!Uhyeah,sheandIwouldtalkallthetimein-in

(Rachelpokesherheadinandstartstolookaround)thelaundryroom.

(PushesRacheloutoftheway.)

ven'sDaughter:YouspeakDutch?(InDutch)Zeervereerd

eenvriendvanmijnmoederteontmoeten.(Translation:I’mvery

honoredtomeetafriendofmymother.)

Ross:Y’knowIwouldit’sjustpainful.

Rachel:Soshe’sreallynotdead.

ven'sDaughter:No,she’shanginginthere.

Rachel:hink—Couldyoutellmeifshe’shangingin,

inaonebedroomoratwo?

[Scene:MonicaandChandler's,Monicaisobservingthenewmaid,

Brenda,clean.]

Brenda:,thistilecleanerisincredible!Where’dyouget

it?

Monica:Ohwellumm,Imakeitmyself!It’stwopartsammoniaand

thesecretingredientis…y’knowwhat?

Wejustmet.

Brenda:,I’mgonnagogettheclothesfromthelaundryroom

,whenIcomebackI’llcleanbehindtherefrigerator.

Monica:(ToChandler)Iloveher.

Brenda:I’llbebackinaminute.

Monica:Okay.(AsBrendaexitsMonicanoticessomething.)

Chandler:See?Itoldyou.

Monica:Shestolemyjeans!

Chandler:(pause)What?

Monica:Ihavebeenlookingforthemallweekandsheiswearingthem!

Chandler:Soshestoleyourpantsandthenshecamebackandworethem

infrontofyou?

Monica:Don’tyousee?It’stheperfectcrime!

Chandler:Shemust’vebeenplanningthisforyears!

Monica:Iwillproveittoyou!Okay?AboutaweekagoIwaswearing

thosejeansandIdroppedapeninmylapanditleftaninkstain

nshecomesbackIwillfinditandshowyou

thatstain!

Chandler:Honey,isn’titpossiblethatthecompanythatsoldthe

jeansmademorethanjusttheonepair?

Monica:Iguess.

那她没有死

不，她在里面

可以告诉我她在里面一间房，还是两间

房?

这支洗砖水真一流，你在哪里买的?

哦……是我自制的

两份阿摩尼亚加一份柠汁至于秘方

是……

你看，我们才刚认识

我现在去洗衣间取衣服……

回来后会清洁冰箱后面

我喜欢她

我马上回来

好．

瞧,我早告诉你

她偷了我的牛仔裤

什么?

我找了一个星期!她穿上了

她偷了你的裤子然后穿上，在你面前出

现?

你看不出这是完美罪行吗？

她一定策划了几年

我会证明给你看

几个星期前，我穿那裤子时掉了笔

在裤档位置留下墨迹

她回来时，我会找到并指给你看

那服装店有没有可能卖出多过一条同款

牛仔裤?

有可能

我们暂且不该怀疑她在观看她的裤档前?

好吧．幸好我没有将秘方给她

我想问你，秘方是什么?

请进．很高兴你来了

我也是

但没想到你怒气冲冲

抱歉，我刚见过苏娜取回戒指

看见她令我想起一切

她欺骗我，利用我

我看着她的样子就很生气

脸

对

我很抱歉，只是…

每次看见你，就像看见她

当我看见她，我就会有那么一点生气

或者这太突然

慢着

我望着你时，才会有问题

我想到了

不，别挖眼珠

我只是脱下隐形眼镜

好,试试看

Chandler:So,shouldn’twegogiveherthebenefitofthedoubtbefore

wego…snoopingaroundhercrotch?

Monica:Fine.I’mjustgladIdidn’tgivehermysecretingredient.

Chandler:Outofcuriosity,whatisyoursecretingredient?

Monica:Yeah!(Laughs.)

[Scene:Eric’sApartment,he’sopeningthedoortorevealPhoebe.]

Phoebe:Hi!

Eric:Comein,I’msogladyou’rehere.

Phoebe:Yeah,heshakyangrywayyouarethough.

Eric:Sorry,givetheengagementringback.

Phoebe:Oh.

Eric:lies,thewayshe

…Igotsoangryjustlookingather…(Looksat

Phoebe)…face.

Phoebe:Yeah.(Coversherfacewithherhand.)Yeah.

Eric:I’…ee

herIgetalittlebitangry.

Phoebe:Maybethisistooweird.

Eric:Nowait!There’sonlyaproblemwhenIlookatyou.(Sitsdown

onthecouch.)OhIgotit!Igotit.(Putshishandstohiseyes.)

Phoebe:Nodon’ttearoutyoureyes!!

Eric:Iwasjust,Iwasjustgonnatakeoutmylenses.

Phoebe:Oh,yeahtrythat.(Hefinishesandlooksather.)So,isthat

better?

Eric:…you’reblurry,butyoustilllooklikeUrsula.

You’…IfI-ifIjustdon’tlookatyou

forawhile.(Standsupandturnshisbacktoher.)See?It…itworks.

I’mnot,I’mnotangryatallanymore!Thisisagreatdate!

Phoebe:LookEric,turnaround.(Hedoesso.)Look,Ilikeyou,but

itshouldn’tbethishard.Y’know?Thisisourfirstdatey’know?

Firstdatesaresupposedtobeaboutexcitementandelectricityand

‘Ooh,hejusttouchedmyhand,didhemeantotouchmyhand?’and

y’knowfirstkissesand…(Hekissesher)…secondkisses.(Motions

forhimtokissheragainwhichhedoesandtheystarttomakeout.)

[Scene:CentralPerk,RossisreadingsomebookandGuntherserves

himacupofcoffee.]

Ross:Thanksforthecoffee,orbedanktvoordekoffie,Gunter.(He

translatesthatphraseintoDutch.)

Gunther:JijspreektNederlands?amiliedaar?

(Translation:YouspeakDutchThat'averelatives

there?)

Ross:Yeah,we’redone.

Gunther:Ezel.(Translation:Donkey)

Ross:Ezel?Ezel?Ezel?(Looksitupinhisbook.)

Joey:(entering)HeyRoss!Listen,doyouwanttogoseethatnewImax

movieontidepools?

Ross:Really?!

Joey:(laughs)tKnicksticketsforyou,me,andChandler.

Ross:Sweet!

Joey:Allright,wellfinishyourcoffee;let’sgo.

Ross:OkayI-Ijusthavetostopbymyplacefirst.

现在好点吗?

还是不行

很模糊但仍然像苏娜．你像模糊娜

哦，等等

我只要不望你一会儿

那就行了，我不再生气了

这个约会真好

艾瑞克，转身

我喜欢你，但我们不该这样

这是第一次约会

双方应该觉得很兴奋雀跃……

…他刚摸我的手，他是有意吗?初吻…

第二个吻

谢谢你的咖啡或……

说完了

Ross，跟我去戏院看立体电影吗?

真的?

我买了篮球门票给你和Chandler

好啊!快喝完咖啡走吧

但我要先回家

录影球赛?你每次都录影你不会上电视

不，我想看看是否有房子出租

你想搬家?

不是我,是Rachel

但Rachel有地方住

是,但孩子出世后,她就要搬家

她要?

是的

你不想她跟孩子住在你家吧

我没有认真想过

你才是

可恶

裤子很不错啊

过奖

我喜欢你的背心

你不会得到

发生什么事?

我睡着了

我想吃午饭

可以清洁橱柜上面吗?那会令你吃得更加

开胃

好吧

Hello

怎么回事?

抱歉，我从没有请过女佣

这样不行吗?

球赛怎样?

还可以,我吃得太饱

我跟Ross谈过，他说你要搬家?

对．若那荷兰人死了就可以搬

我还以为你会留下

Joey:Totapethegame?YoudothiseverytimeRoss,you’renotgonna

beonTV!

Ross:No-no,I-Ihavetoseeifthisapartmentbecameavailable.

Joey:Oh,you’reswitchingapartments?

Ross:It’snotforme,it’sforRachel.

Joey:ButRachelhasanapartment.

Ross:Yeah,butwhenthebabycomesshe’sgonnawanttomove.

Joey:Sheis?

Ross:Yeah,youdidn’texpecthertolivetherewithababydidyou?

Joey:IguessIdidn’treallythinkaboutit.

Ross:(findsthewordinthebook)Ezel!(Readsthetranslation.)Hey

Gunther!You’reanezel!

Gunther:Jijhebtseksmetezels.(Translation:Youhavesexwith

donkeys.)

Ross:Damnit!

[Scene:MonicaandChandler's,BrendaissweepingandMonicais

sittingatthekitchentable.]

Monica:Nicejeans!

Brenda:Ohthanks!Ilikeyourtop.

Monica:Oh.(Holdsontoit.)(Toherself)You’renotgettin’it.

(BrendabendsdowntousethedustpanandMonicaleansovertolook

forthestain,butleanssofarovershefallsoutofthechair.)

Brenda:Whathappened?!

Monica:Oh,Ifellasleep.

Brenda:Iwasthinkingabouttakingmylunchbreak.

Monica:Oh,willyoudothetopofthecabinets?That’llreallywork

upyourappetiteforlunch.

Brenda:Allright.

(Brendapullsachairtothecounterandusesittogetuponthe

sneaksover,

bendsover,esn’tworksoshe

sticksherheadbetweenBrenda’lyBrendachangesher

stanceandtrapsMonica’sheadbetweenherlegs.)

Monica:Hello.

Brenda:What’sgoingon?!

Monica:I’msorry.I’veneverhadamaidbefore,isthisnotokay?

CommercialBreak

[Scene:JoeyandRachel's,RacheliseatingpizzaasJoeyreturnsfrom

theKnicksgame.]

Rachel:Hey!

Joey:Hey!

Rachel:Howwasthegame?

Joey:Oh,okay.I…Iatewaytoomuch.

Rachel:Oh.

Joey:Ooh.(Noticesthepizza,grabsaslice,andtakesabite.)So

umm,Iwastalkin’toRossandhesaidyouwerelookingforanew

place.

Rachel:Ohyeah!HopefullyacrossthestreetifcertainDutchpeople

wouldjustletgo.

Joey:Iwaskindahopingyou’dstay.

Rachel:OhbutJoey,’snoroomforababyhere.

Joey，我非走不可，没地方容纳孩子

没地方?它只有这么大

你可以放它在这里

又或者这里，它很可爱，对吧?

或者放它在这里，你几乎留意不到它

孩子在哪？…就在那里

亲爱的，这不关乎你放他在哪里

孩子会改变一切，整天哭

想象你带女孩回来正想亲热，但孩子却在

哭闹

我接受挑战，这应该不难

你想我留下真好，但我会连累你

影响你的生活

我非常喜欢跟你同住

真希望一切不变

我知道

都怪Ross

我也有点怪他

我会想念你

你是最性感的室友

不，我要走了，我约了客人做按摩

留下吧，继续做，我付钱给你

不，我试过，为此还惹了麻烦

迟些见?

好的.

我喜欢你的吻

真的?那是我的弱项，你会明白

Hey,我认为佩兰应该加钱

为什么？

因为我将头伸到她两腿之间

为了看她的裤子?

是我的裤子

你肯定?看见污迹吗?

没有，我已就位，但一片漆黑

她不会偷东西，你别胡思乱想

好吧

她戴我的胸围

救命

粉红花边胸围，我认得胸围带!

你还不承认自己疑神疑鬼?

我有个计划，我离开你看佩兰的胸围带

我有另一个计划，不看

我可以做，但她以为我暗恋她

为什么？

你没听见我的头放在哪?

我们是两夫妇应该共同进退

我担心陪审团也是这样想

我发现你经常盯着女人的胸部

你发现?

你发现吗?

好吧，我明白你的意思

Joey:Noroom?It’’slikethisbig.(Holdshishands

aboutafootapart.)Y’know,Imeanyou-youcouldyoucouldputit

overhere.(Adesk.)Or-or-orwecouldputitrighthere.(Thechair.)

Aw,it’scute,right?Or-orwecouldputitoverhere.(Bythe

bathroomdoor.)Youwouldn’’sthebaby?

(Mumblesthatit’soverinthecorner.)

Rachel:Honey,it’

magine

bringinghomesomegirlandtryingtoscorewhenthere’sascreaming

babyaround.

Joey:Icoulduseachallenge!It’sgettingprettyeasy.

Rachel:Honey,it’ssosweetthatyouwantmetostay,butI-Ican’t

twoulddisruptyourentirelife.

Joey:ishthingsdidn’thave

tochange.

Rachel:Iknow.

Joey:Y’knowIblameRossforthis.

Rachel:Idotooalittlebit.

Joey:I’mgonnamissyou,you’rethehottestroommateIeverhad.

[Scene:Eric’sApartment,heandPhoebearestillmakingout.]

Phoebe:Ooh,ohno!Ihavetogo!Ihaveamassageappointment.

Eric:Ohno,stayherewe’llkeepdoingthis.I’llpayyou.

Phoebe:No,Igotintroubleforthatbefore.I’llseeyoulater.

Eric:Absolutely.(TheykissandPhoebeheadsforthedoor.)Ilove

thewayyoukiss.

Phoebe:Really?That’sthethingI’mworseat!You’llsee.(Exits.)

[Scene:MonicaandChandler's,Brendaisshakingouttherugsonthe

balconyasMonicapoutsinthelivingroom.]

Chandler:(entering)Hi!

Monica:Hey!Umm,IthinkBrendaneedsaraise.

Chandler:Howcome?

Monica:BecauseIputmyheadbetweenherlegs.

Chandler:Toseeherpants?

Monica:They’remypants!

Chandler:Areyousure?Didyouseethestain?

Monica:No!Iwasjustgettingintopositionandtheneverythingwent

dark.

Chandler:God!Sheisnotstealingfromus!Okay,willyouletthis

go?

Monica:Fine.(Brendacomesintousethebathroomandadjustsher

pinkbrastrapontheway.)She’swearingmybra!

Chandler:OhdearGod!

Monica:Mypinkfloweredbra!Irecognizethestrap!

Chandler:Andyetyoudon’trecognizethatyou’recrazy.

Monica:Here’stheplan!Okay?I’mgoingtoleaveyougetalook

atBrenda’sbra!

Chandler:Here’sanotherplan…No!

Monica:IwoulddoitbutshethinksI’mattractedtoher!

Chandler:Why?

Monica:Didyounothearwheremyheadwas?Comeon!Comeonwe’re

ateam!We’reinthistogether!

但假如不是她的胸围，可以让她打扫房子

吗?

当然．你会知道是我的

因为在右杯丝带部分有个明显裂

你要买新衣服

Hi,她怎样?

情况不妙

嗅，我带了点花给她

你想进来跟她道别吗?我肯定对她意义很

大

哦，我不肯定

她几乎完全失去记亿

那好

Hey

真高兴你回来

我们该继续吗?

不肯定,下午后我仍有点累

为什么

做爱

什么做爱?

我们做爱

我们没有

若我不是与你做爱那么我是跟与你样貌

相

你跟苏娜做爱?

有一点,她进来时…

我以为是你，我吻她…

你没留意到她穿不同衣服

我见到你就很兴奋

令我起疙瘩

我不想失去你

就像我跟她做爱时跟她说话，我以为她是

你

对，令人起疙瘩

我们分手吧

对

这对大家都好

你跟她气味相同

你也是

你在做什么

我在倾测

我在这里倾测

好的

佩兰,有蜜蜂

什么？

它飞进你的上衣你最好解钮扣

我知道是什么回事

你知道?

妻子是同性恋你一定很难受

但这是不道德的，你已经结婚

我完全明白

Chandler:Ifearajurywillseeitthesameway!

Monica:Dothisforme!Comeon,Icatchyoulookingatwoman’s

breastsallthetime!

Chandler:Youseethat?

Monica:Doyouseethis?(Mimicshimdroolingoverawoman’s

breasts.)

Chandler:t’snot

yourbrawillyoujustletthewomancleantheapartment?!

Monica:Yes!?Look,you’llknowit’sminebecause

ontherightcup,thelaceypart,there’saverynoticeablerip.

Chandler:Youneednewclothes.

[Scene:ven’sApartment,Rossisbacktoinquireabout

theelderVerhoeven’shealthorlackthereof.]

Ross:he?

ven'sDaughter:It’snotlookinggood.

Ross:(happily)Oh.(Realizesthensadly)h,Ibrought

hersomebloemen.(FlowersinDutch.)

ven'sDaughter:That’ssosweet.(Takestheflowers.)

Wouldyouliketocomeinandsaygood-bye?I’msureitwouldmean

alottoher.

Ross:OhIdon’tknowthatitwould.

ven'sDaughter:Well,hermemoryisprettymuchgone.

Ross:Allrightthen.(Followsherinandcheckstheplaceout.)

[Scene:Eric’sApartment,he’srestingonthebedasPhoebeenters.]

Phoebe:(entering)Hey!

Eric:Welcomeback!

Phoebe:Hey!(Jumpsonthebedwithhim.)Canwepickupwhereweleft

off?

Eric:Idon’tknow,I’mstillprettytiredoutfromthisafternoon.

Phoebe:Why?

Eric:Uh,thesex.

Phoebe:Whatsex?

Eric:Oursex.

Phoebe:Wedidn’thavesex.

Eric:WellifIdidn’thavesexwithyou,Ihadsexwithsomeonethat

lookedanawfullotlike…

Phoebe:(simultaneouslyasEric)Ew!Ew!Ew!Ew!Ew!Ew!

Eric:(simultaneouslyasPhoebe)Ohno!Ohno!Ohno!Ohno!No!No!

No!

Phoebe:You-you…youhadsexwithUrsula?!

Eric:Uh,-she-shewalkedinandIthoughtshewas

youandIkissedherand…

Phoebe:Youdidn’tnoticeshewaswearingdifferentclothes?!

Eric:WellIwasjustsoexcitedtoseeyou.

Phoebe:!Ew!Ew!Ugh!Y’knowwhat?Thisistooweird.

Eric:No-noit’snot!Idon’twanttoloseyou!It’s-it’slike

IwassayingtoUrsulawhenIwasmakinglovetoherandIthought

shewasyou—Yeahitistooweird.

Phoebe:SoIguessthisisit.

Eric:Yeah.(Theyhug.)Maybeit’lljustlike

her.

可以看看你的胸围?

这牛仔裤从何而来?

你给我的

我没有

好吧,那是我拿的

但我估计没有问题，因为在裤档那里有墨

水迹

哦,不!胸围也是你拿的?

什么胸围?

粉红色有花纹那个

你戴在身上这个?

我不干了

好吧

这是什么?

这是给你概括印象

这里放屏风，婴儿就有私隐

或者在婴儿床上放活动餐盘

……这是显示屏

孩子出世前我们可用作对讲机

你想得太周到

天啊!给孩子抱一个

这只是示范一下

我抱抱他，就不会有事

Joey，婴儿会很吵，整天哭闹

我也很吵

他会整晚醒来

我也会

他会拉屎

我呢

你带女人回家怎办?

若她不能忍受孩子的女人……

我也不想跟她上床

我们亦可以移师俱乐部的洗手间

Joey，你肯定?

对，我知道有时会很困难

但没事的

Rachel，求你，我很想你留下

我亦想留下．谢谢

-看这婴儿床!真漂亮!

我知道,在街上捡的

你说真的?保养得很好

哇!床垫下有什么?

不知道

它在动

它还有尾巴!快搬走

好!

晤，那婆婆死了．我怎知道?

因为她遗愿是别人吻她

我不介意因为你有房子住了

对，我打算留下来

这不好吗?

Phoebe:Yeah,sodoyou.

[Scene:MonicaandChandler's,Brendaiswipingthecoffeetableand

Chandleristryingtolookatherbraandleansoveronthecoffee

tabletogetagoodlook.]

Brenda:(noticinghim)Whatareyoudoing?

Chandler:I’whereIlean.

Brenda:Okay.(Goesoverandfluffsupthepillowsonthecouch.

Chandler:Brendaabee!

Brenda:What?

Chandler:Yes!It’sflownintoyourblouseandyou’dbetterundo

yourbuttonslestitstingyou!

Brenda:IthinkIknowwhat’sgoingonhere.

Chandler:Youdo?

Brenda:Look,Iknowitmustbehardthatyourwifeisalesbian,but

it’’remarried.

Chandler:Itotallyunderstand.(Theybothlaugh.)CanIjustseeyour

bra?

[Scene:TheHallway,MonicaissittingonthestepasRachelreturns.]

Rachel:Hi!

Monica:(lookingatRachel’sjeans)Wheredidyougetthosejeans?!

Rachel:Yougavethemtome!

Monica:NoIdidn’t!

Rachel:Allright,gureditwouldbeokaybecause

yougotabiginkstainonthecrotch.

Monica:Ohno!Didyoutakemybratoo?!

Rachel:Whatbra?

Monica:Thepinkonewiththeflowers?!

Rachel:Youmeantheonethatyou’rewearing?(AdjustsMonica’spink

brastrapasMonicalooksdownhershirt.)

Brenda:(entering)Iquit!(Stormsoff.)

Monica:Soundsaboutright.

[Scene:JoeyandRachel's,RachelentersandnoticesthatJoeyhas

setupaspaceforthebabywherethecouchwas,completewithacrib.]

Rachel:Whatisthis?

Joey:Hey!Uh,ll,wecan

putscreenshere,(Infrontofthecrib.)sothatthebabyhasprivacy,

—Ohlook!Here’s

ababymonitor(Holdsitup),whichuntilthebabycomeswecanuse

?

Rachel:You’resosweet.(Noticessomethinginthecrib.)OhmyGod!

AndyougavethebabyHugsy!(Astuffedpenguinwearingaskijacket,

goggles,andhat.)

Joey:Ahhhhhhhhhhhh….That-that-that’sreallyjusttoshowwhere

thebabywouldgo.Y’knowwhydon’tIholdontohimsothatthere’s

noconfusion?(Takeshimback,setshimonthechair,andapologizes

tohim.)

Rachel:ButJoeythebabyisgoingtobecrying,it’sgoingtobe

loud.

Joey:I’mloud!

Rachel:It’sgonnabeupallnight!

Joey:I’mupallnight!

Rachel:It’sgonnapoop!

Joey:Hello!

Rachel:Whataboutallthewomenyouwanttobringhome?

Joey:Look,ifI’mbringinghomeawomanwhocan’tstandbeingaround

ababy,thenmaybeIdon’twanttobewiththatwoman!Ormaybewe’ll

justdoitinthebathroomoftheclub!

Rachel:Joey,areyousure?

Joey:Yeah!Allright—Look,Iknowsometimesit’llbehard,okay?

But,it’llalsobereally…Rachel!I-I-Ireally

wantyoutostay.

Rachel:Iwantmetostaytoo.

Joey:Ohh!

Rachel:Thankyou.(Theyhug.)OhJoeyandlookatthiscrib!It’s

socute!

Joey:Iknow!Ifounditonthestreet.

Rachel:Areyouserious—Really?!It’sinsuchgoodcondition.

Joey:Yeah.

Rachel:Wow!Whoa-whoawhat’sunderthecovers?

Joey:Idon’tknow.

Rachel:It’smoving.

Joey:Ew.

Rachel:It’sstill—(Screams)—It’sgotatail!Getitoutofhere!

Getitoutofhere!!

Joey:Ooh!Ah!Okay!(Quicklydragsthecriboutside.)

DedicatedtotheMemoryofPearlHarmon

ClosingCredits

[Scene:JoeyandRachel's,JoeyandRachelaretoastingherstaying

put.]

Ross:Well,doIknow?Herdyingwishwas

n’tcare,(ToRachel)becauseyougotthe

!

Rachel:I’mgonnastayhere.

Joey:Isn’tthatgreat?

Ross:(stutterslookingforwords)Ezels!!

End

808TheOneWithTheStripper

808TheOneWithTheStripper

[Scene:CentralPerk,Joey,Monica,andChandleraresittingonthe

couchandchairasPhoebeisgettingcoffee.]

Rachel:(comingfromthebathroom)HeyPheebs?

Phoebe:Huh?

Rachel:I’mhavingdinnerwithmydadtomorrownight,doyouwanna

come?

Phoebe:,he’skindasexy.

808脱衣舞娘

嘿，菲比

我和我爸今晚一起吃晚餐,你要一起来

吗？

当然啦，他很性感呢

哦，不，我和你一起的

可以，那我们约定一个暗号

Rachel:Ohno,no,I’llbetheretoo.

Phoebe:Okayso,we’lljustcomeupwithsomekindofsignalifit’s

goingwellyoucantakeoff.

Rachel:NoPhoebe!’ttold

himI’mpregnantyet.

Phoebe:?

Rachel:‘CauseIknowhe’sgonnaflipoutandIhateitwhenhe’s

angry.

Phoebe:OhRachel,thisisallso‘Papadon’tpreach.’

Rachel:WhatPhoebe?Wait!Onetimehecaughtmesmokinghesaidif

heeversawmedoingthatagainhe’dmakemeeattheentirepack.

Phoebe:Wow!Ohwell,Iwillbethere!

Rachel:Thankyou.

Phoebe:Gosh.I’mnotgonnaletthatmanmakeyoueatyourbaby.(They

bothsitdownbytherestofthegangandPhoeberecognizesamanby

thewindow.)!Whoisthatguy?IthinkIknowhim.

Monica:(recognizinghimandpanicking)Noyoudon’t!

Rachel:(panicking)Noyoudon’t.

Phoebe:OhmyGod!!!Monica!!He’sthestripperfromyour

bacheloretteparty!!

Chandler:Herwhat?!!

Phoebe:Yoursecretbacheloretteparty…

Chandler:Youhadabacheloretteparty?!

Phoebe:SheuntiedhisG-stringwithherteeth.(Pause)Somebodystop

me!

Chandler:Ithoughtweweren’tgonnahavebachelor/bachelorette

parties!Y’know,weagreedthatitwasasillytradition.

Joey:It’sagrandtradition!

Monica:I’msorry,asnothingIcoulddo!

Rachel:Wellyoucould’veuntieditwithyourhands.

Joey:Thisissounfair!TheonethingIwantedtodowasthrowmy

bestfriendabachelorparty,butno,Iwasn’t

wasastupidsteakdinner!

Chandler:Youwenthomewiththewaitress.

Joey:Ohyeah,thatwasaprettygoodnight.

Chandler:Ican’tbelieveyoudidn’ttellme!Youknowthatthetwo

pillarsofmarriageareopennessandhonesty!

Monica:Ugh,Iknewgivingyouthatbookwasgonnacomebackandbite

meintheass!

OpeningCredits

[Scene:ARestaurant,RachelandPhoebearehavingdinnerwithDr.

Green,andeveryoneislookingatthemenu.]

:HowaboutIordereveryonetheMoroccanchicken?

Phoebe:Oh,I-Idon’teatmeat.

:It’schicken.

Phoebe:Yeah,Idon’teatthateither.

:I’llneverunderstandyoulesbians.(ToRachel)Sobaby,

tellme…whatisnewwithyou.

Rachel:Wellactuallyumm…

Waiter:(interrupting)Your’74Lafitesir.

:’74?!Iorderedthe’75!That’samagnificentwine!

如果顺利的话，你可以先走

不，菲比，我要你在那里支持我

我还没有告诉他我怀孕了。

哦．为什么?

因为我知道他一定会为此而抓狂，我不想

他发怒

噢，瑞秋，“爸爸别说教”

菲比，他是个可怕的人

有一次我抽烟给他发现

他说如果再给他看到我抽烟，

他会让我吃下整包烟

哦好的，我会和你一起的

我不会告诉他，让他逼你吃掉你的孩子

噢，那人是谁

我应该认识他的

不会的

哦，我的天

莫妮卡，他是你单身聚会中的脱衣舞男

她的什么？

你的秘密单身聚会

你有一个单身聚会？

她用牙齿解开他的G带

找人制止我说下去！

我想我们不应该办单身聚会

我们都认为那是个笨传统吧！

那是个古老的传统

抱歉,他们吓着我了

我什么都不能做

那，你应该用手把它解开吧

这很不公平呢

我只想为我朋友办场好的单身聚会

但，哦，我不被允许

...只得到一顿无聊的西餐

你和那女侍应回家了

哦，是啊，那晚很过瘾呢

你居然不告诉我

你居然没告诉我

你知道婚姻的两个支柱是公开和坦诚.

让你知道然后让你咬我的屁股？

我给每人点个摩洛哥鸡肉如何？

我不吃肉的

是鸡肉

是,我也不吃鸡的

我永远也猜不透你们同性恋

那,宝贝,告诉我,你有什么事吗？

好,实际上呢....

你的74年份Lafitte红酒，先生

'74年份?我点的是'75年份.

'74象潲水一样

你拿潲水给我干吗？

那是个很难的问题吗？你是个白痴吗？

The’74issewage!Whywouldyoubringmesewage?!(Thewaiter’s

dumbfounded)Isthatahardquestion?Areyouanidiot?Isthatwhy

you’reawaiter?

Waiter:ThisiswhyItoldthemanagerIwouldn’twaitonyoutonight!

(Runsoff.)

:Ohcomeon!Don’tbesuchababy!(Goesafterhim)

Rachel:(ToPhoebe)Incaseyoudidn’tnotice,thatisascaryman.

Phoebe:He’srightthough,the’74isabsolutepiss.

Rachel:’ttellhimPhoebe.I

can’t,Ican’t,Ican’t,Ican’t…

Phoebe:Rachel!

Rachel:Noit’sokay,thisiswhat’sgonnahappen.I’mgonnawait

acoupleyearsandthenthebabywilltellhim.

Phoebe:Why,sohecangetmadatthebaby?

Rachel:Hey,thatisthe…baby’sproblem.(eturns.)Oh,

everythingokaywiththewaiter?

:Ihavenoidea,tie,you

werestartingtotellmewhatisuh,whatisnewwithyou.

Rachel:Well…Umm,IgotTiVo.

:What’sTiVo?

Phoebe:It’sslangforpregnant.

Rachel:Phoebe!

:Areyoureallypregnant?

Rachel:Welluh,mitup,yeah.

:Whoisthefather?Ohno!Pleasedon’ttellmeit’sher!

(PointsatPhoebe.)

Rachel:No,it’’eRoss.(Hejustshakes

hishead.)Ohdaddy,Ihopeyou’hink

aboutit,’regonna—Thisisyourfirst

grandchild!You’regonnabeapoppy!

:That’strue.

Rachel:Yeah.

:(laughs)Poppy.(ToPhoebe)Oh,I’mgonnabeapoppy.

(Stopslaughing)Sowhenisthewedding?

Rachel:Who?

:Thewedding!There’ady,

don’tyousitthereandtellmemyfirstgrandchildisgoingtobe

abastard!(Rachelpauses)RachelKarenGreen,tellmethereisgonna

beawedding!!

Rachel:February2nd!

(xhalesinrelief.)

[Scene:CentralPerk,ChandlerandJoeyarereadingamagazineand

RossischattingwithMona.]

Mona:Soitwasreallycoolseeingyoulecturetoday.

Ross:ghitkindaseemedlikeyouwerefallingasleep

therealittle.

Mona:Ohno-no,I-IhadmyeyesclosedsoIcouldconcentrateand

y’knowtakeitallin.

Ross:Yeah,alotofmystudentsdothat.

Mona:So,Igottagetgoing.

Ross:Okay,I-I’llseeyoutonight.

那是你永远是个侍应的原因吗？

那是我告诉经理

我不再接待你的原因

拜托，不要那么幼稚了

注意到了吗？他很可怕吧

但他说得对，74年的酒很难喝

这是个大误会

我不能告诉他，菲比，我不能，我..

瑞秋

不,没问题的

要不这样，我等个两年然后

让那孩子告诉他

为什么？他会迁怒于那孩子的啊？

嘿,那是...那孩子的问题

哦,那侍应怎样了？

我怎么知道,我去了洗手间

那宝贝，告诉我，你有什么新闻？

唔...我得了TiVo

什么是TiVo?

那是怀孕的俗称

你真的怀孕了吗？

那，恩，是，也不是

去掉不是

总的来说，是的

父亲是谁？哦，不，不要告诉我是她

不，是罗斯的

是罗斯，你喜欢罗斯

哦，老爸，我希望你能接受这些

你将要...这是你第一个孙子

你快要成为爷爷了

那倒是真的

爷爷，，是啊

我要变成爷爷了！

哦!那婚礼什么时候进行？

恩？什么？

婚礼。会有婚礼吧！

小姐，不要告诉我

我第一个孙子是个私生子

瑞秋·卡林·格林，告诉我会举行婚礼！

2月2日

你今天讲课很好啊

哦，谢谢夸奖

虽然你好象睡着了，，一点

哦，不是，合起双眼有助于集中

还有，你知道，吸收

是啊，我很多学生都是这样的

那,我得走的

好的,今晚我找你

嘿，再次谢谢你给我看的化石标本

实在是太惊人了

天啊，你床上工夫一定很好

Mona:Yeah.

Ross:Okay,bye.

(Theykissandshestartstoleave.)

Mona:Ohhey,thanksagainforshowingmeyoursemi-preciousstone

mazing!(Sheleaves.)

Chandler:MyGod!Youmustbegoodinbed!

Joey:Souh,youandMona,’sitgoing?

Ross:Ah,it’’,wegetalonggreat.

She’s,she’sso…

Joey:Hot?

Ross:Well,Iwasgonnasaysweet,butyeah-huh!

Chandler:She’sokaywithRachelandthebaby?

Ross:WellI…Ihaven’’twanttoscare

heroff,y’know?

Chandler:Well,youhavetohonestwithher!Otherwiseyoumaythink

thatyou’regoingdownthesamepath,butyou’rereallygoingdown

differentones.

Joey:I’mgonnatakethatbookandbeatyoutodeathwithit.

Monica:(entering)OhmyGod!Youaregonnalovemesomuch!Ifelt

reallybadaboutthewholebachelorettepartything,sotonight

you’regonnahaveabachelorparty.

Chandler:What?

Monica:Yeah,IgotthisnumberfromthisguyatworkandIhireda

nginthewifehalloffame

orwhat?!

Chandler:Honey!That’scrazy!Idon’twantyoutogetmea

stripper…

Joey:Willyoulettheladytalk?!

Monica:Comeon!Comeon,it’llbefun!It’llmakemefeelsomuch

better.

Chandler:Look,Iappreciateit,butuh,it’salittlecreepy.

Y’know?I’mnotabacheloranymore.

Monica:Sodon’tthinkofitasabachelorparty,thinkofitasa…a

twomonthanniversarypresent.

Ross:Sure,oneyearispaper,buttwomonthsislapdance!(Joeynods

hisagreement.)

Monica:Please!Ifeelsobad!Justwatchthehotwomangetnaked!

Chandler:Allrightfine!ButI’monlydoingthisforyou!

Joey:Yeah!

Chandler:AndJoey.

Monica:ht,nowwhoelsedoyouwanttoinvite?

Chandler:Ah,dJoeyisembarrassing

enough.

Ross:Uhactually,sorryIcan’tevenmakeit.I’mseeingMonaagain

tonight.

Chandler:Iunderstand:whowouldcancelanactualdatetogotoa

fakebachelorparty?

Joey:(oncellphone)I’msorryIgottacanceltonightbaby…

[Scene:TheRestaurant,dinnerhasendedandPhoebeandRachelare

snotatthetable.]

Phoebe:I’msorryIwon’tbeabletomakeittoyourimaginary

你和莫娜约会一段日子，发展的怎样

很好，发展的不错

我意思是，我们相处的不错，她很…

惹火？

其实我想说很可爱,但,o恩o恩...

她对瑞秋和那小孩没意见吗？

恩，我还没告诉她的

我不想吓跑她，知道吗？

但，你要对她诚实一点

否则事情会慢慢变的无法挽回的

但今次有所不同

我要拿起那本书扔死你

你会更爱我

我对婚前派对感到很内疚

所以今晚...你将会有一个单身聚会

是啊，我从我工作的人手上得到这个号码

我请了一个脱衣舞娘来给你跳舞

我是不是会被评为最佳妻子？！

甜心,那太疯狂了,我不要什么脱衣舞

女人说话时,别插嘴

来嘛。来嘛，那会很有趣的

我心领了，那有一点奇怪，你知道？

我已不再是单身了

那就不要当它是个单身聚会

当它是..结婚两月纪念日吧

当然，一年是纸婚，两月是篝火舞

拜托，我很不好过

只要看着火辣女郎赤裸裸

好啦，好啦！

但我不是只为你这样做啊

还有Joey

你还想邀请谁呢？

恩,不,没有。只有罗斯和乔伊已经够让人

尴尬了

哦，实际上，对不起，我不能参加

我今晚又约了莫娜

我明白，我不会要你为了

一个假单身聚会而取消约会

很抱歉我要取消约会了，宝贝

我很抱歉我不能参加你的“婚礼”了

我那天很忙

我要给一头独角兽洗礼

我知道，我很害怕

我不想他对我大呼小叫好象我是...

'74LaTour.

那是LaFitte--

实际上'74LaTour很好喝

他来了，

我要这样做，我要告诉他，我要坚强

我刚打了个电话给我朋友

我想短期内能订下一个广场

wedding,butI’,Ialreadyhaveaunicorn

baptismandaleprechaunbarmitzvah.

Rachel:ked,’twanthim

tostartyellingatmelikeIwassome’74Latour.

Phoebe:It’’74Latourisactuallydrinkingquite

nicely.

Rachel:Allrightherehecomes.I’mgonnadothis,I’mgonnatell

him,I’mgonnabestrong.

:Ijustcalledafriendofmine.

Rachel:Yeah?

:IthinkImaybeabletobookThePlazaonshortnotice.

Rachel:Really?!ThePlaza?!!Ohdaddy!!(HugshimandPhoebeglares

ather.),,sitdown.

:Whatisitsweetie?

Rachel:There’dIarenotgetting

married.

:What?!

Rachel:I’msorrydaddy.

:Idon’tbelievethis!!

Rachel:Ohnowdaddy,.

:Staycalm?!!Howdoyouexpectmetostaycalm?!Thisis

unacceptableRachel!AndIwannaknowwhy?!!Isitbecausethatpunk

Rosswon’tmarryyou?!That’sit!Isthatit?!

Rachel:,hesaysI’mdamagedgoods.

[Scene:MonicaandChandler's,Chandler’sbachelorpartyhasbegun,

whatthereisofit,withonlyJoey(wearingagoldpapertophat)

andChandler(wearingwhatappearstobeaBurgerKingpapercrown)

enjoyinganiceproductplacementofBudweisersonice.]

Joey:Soyouuh,nervousaboutgettingmarried?

Chandler:Whatareyoudoing?

Joey:Look,looklet’spretendit’?

Y’know?,it’llbefun.

Chandler:’tbelievetomorrow’sthebigday.

Joey:Howdoesitfeelknowingyou’renevergonnabewithanother

womanagainhuh?Knowingyou’regonnahavetowakeuptothesame

faceeverydayuntilyoufinallyhavethesweetreleaseofdeath.

Chandler:You’reright,thisismorefun.

(There’saknockonthedoor.)

Joey:That’sher!Okay,comeon!(Theygooverandopenthedoor.)

Stripper:Hi!

Chandler:Hi.(Joeyblowsonanoisemaker.)

Stripper:SowhichoneofyouluckyboysisChandler?

Joey:Uh,that-that’s-that’sme!

Chandler:That’sme.

Joey:JoeyTribbiani,abigfan.

Stripper:Soisthatabedroom?(Pointstotheguestroom.)

Chandler:Yeah,yeahrightoverthere.

Stripper:Allright,wheneveryou’reready.(Shegoesintothe

bedroom.)

Chandler:Thatwasweird.

Joey:Why-whywouldshegointhebedroom?

真的?

一个广场？

哦，爸爸

好..老爸我要谈谈。请坐

什么呢？甜心

不会有婚礼的

罗斯和我不会结婚

对不起

我不敢相信

冷静一点

冷静？你叫我冷静？

这很难接受，瑞秋

我要知道原因

是否那混蛋罗斯不要你？

就是这样，是吗？

是，是，他说我老坏事

你对结婚很紧张？

你在干嘛啊？

瞧，我们假装这是真正的单身聚会吧，好

吗？

要知道，在你结婚之前。要寻些乐子

好的，我无法相信明天是个大日子

看，你感觉怎样，要知道你...

将不能和别的女人在一起了

你将会每天起床看到同样的脸孔

每一天

直到你死亡

你说得对，这样有趣一些

是她好了来吧！

哪个是叫钱德的幸运儿？

恩，是是我

是我

乔伊·崔比昂尼

你的观众

那那里是卧室吗？

是的,直走

好啦，随时等你准备好

很奇怪呢。

她为什么到卧室去呢？

我在等着啊！

那么说,她是..

是是个赤裸的妓女

我喜欢你家

这是从哪里来的？

这是从加尔各答来的18世纪的印度工艺

品

哗

你不只有恐龙而已

当然不止

天啊!对不起

恩没事，这是个赝品

Stripper:I’mwaiting.

(Theybothslowlyenterthebedroomandquicklywalkbackout.)

Chandler:Soshe’sa…

Joey:Yeah,that’sonenakedhooker!

[Scene:Ross'sApartment,RossandMonaaresittingonthecouch.]

Mona:Iloveyourplace!Whereisthisguyfrom?(Astatuefromthe

topofhisapothecarytable.)

Ross:Uhthat’saneighteenthcenturyIndianartifactfromCalcutta.

Mona:Ohwow!So,you’remorethanjustdinosaurs.

Ross:Somuchmore.

(TheystartmakingoutandshekickstheeighteenthcenturyIndian

artifactfromCalcuttaoffofhisapothecarytablefromthedaysof

yoreandthemagicalcityofWhitePlains.)

Mona:OhmyGod!OhmyGod!I’msosorry!

Ross:Awforgetit,it’sfromPierOne.(There’sanangryknockon

thedoor.)Sorry.(.)

:Youthinkyoucanknockupmydaughterandthennotmarry

her?!I’mgonnakillyou!!

Ross:Y’knowthisisactuallynotagreattimeforme.

CommercialBreak

[Scene:Ross'sApartment,continuedfromearlier.]

:So?Comeon!ExplainyourselfGeller!Firstyougetmy

Rachelpregnant!

Mona:YougotRachelpregnant?!

Ross:Whodid?!

:Youdid!

Ross:,yesIdid.(ToMona)But-butitwas,itwasjusta

tnothing.

:Oh?Really?That’swhatmydaughtermeanstoyou?Nothing?

Ross:No!Nosirumm,,Icare—I-Ilove

Rachel.

Mona:What?!

Ross:(toMona)…ImeanI’mnotinlove

erlikea,likeafriend.

:Ohreally?That’showtreatafriend?Yougetherin

troubleandthenrefusetomarryher?

Ross:()Hey!Iofferedtomarryher!

Mona:Wh…

Ross:(ToMona)ButIdidn’twantto.

:Wellwhynot?Soyoucanspendyourtimewiththistramp?!

Mona:Tramp?!

Ross:I’,,.

[Scene:MonicaandChandler's,ChandlerandJoeyarediscussingwhat

todoaboutthenownakedhookerintheguestroom.]

Chandler:Ican’tbelievethereisanakedhookerinthere!

Joey:Wait!Wait!Maybeshe’sahookerandastripper,butshegot

confusedaboutwhatshe’ssupposedtodo.

Chandler:echnicallyshedidstrip,wejust,wejust

missedit.(Walkstowardsthebedroom.)Ma’am,areyoualsoa

stripper?

Hooker:Uh,uldpretendtostrip,butthat’sgonnacost

对不起

你以为你能搞过我女儿就算啦？

我要杀死你

知道吗？我现在不方便

那来吧！盖勒，解释

首先你让我家瑞秋怀孕了

你让瑞秋怀孕了？

谁干的？

你干的！

是是我做的但但只是一夜情而已

那不代表什么

哦？是吗？

那就是我女儿的价值吗？毫无意义？

不不她对我很重要

我意思说我紧张她我爱她

什么？

哦不是那种爱我意思说...

我意思是我没有爱上她

我象对朋友一样爱她

哦是吗？那是你待友之道吗？

你给她麻烦然后拒绝娶她？

嘿，我说过我要娶她

但不是我自愿的

那为什么？所以你就花时间陪这个贱女

人？

贱女人？

对不起，格林医生，莫娜

莫娜，这是格林医生

我无法相信那有个裸体妓女

等等等等，可能她兼营妓女和脱衣舞

但她不知道应提供哪种服务

可能是，技术上说她脱过衣

但我们错过了

小姐?

你也是个脱衣舞娘吗？

恩，不但是我可以假装是

但，那要额外收费，还有我能装成...

残疾的激烈的....

可能莫尼卡给你开个玩笑

看给她老公请妓女，那很好玩呢

很好玩，可能在我生日那天她要杀人

我敢打赌罗斯也是其中一个

我意思是他老是没空

你介意我在这吸烟吗？

哦那个我想...

可以随便

反正我们都要把那个房间烧掉

你怎能隐瞒着我？

我正准备告诉你但...

你告诉她你要什么然后抛弃她

就好象你对瑞秋一样

,here’stheextras,handcuffs,spanking…(Chandler

gruntsforhernottocontinueandJoeypullshimbackintothe

kitchen.)

Joey:MaybeMonica’splayingajokeonya.Y’know?Gettingherown

husbandahooker,that’sprettyfunny.

Chandler:Thatisfunny,maybeformybirthdayshe’llmurdersomeone.

Joey:ewasconvenientlybusy.

Hooker:DoyoumindifIsmokeinhere?

Chandler:Ohactually,I’dratheryou…Yeah,’regonna

havetoburnthatroomdownanyway.

[Scene:Ross'sApartment,continuedfromearlier.]

Mona:Howcouldyouhavekeptallofthisfromme?

Ross:Iwasgoingtotellyou,but…

:Butwhat?!Youfiguredyou’dgetwhatyouwantedandthen

dumpherlikeyoudumpedRachel!

Ross:Hey!IdidnotdumpRachel!(ToMona)Norarewestilltogether.

(ThephoneringsandRossgoestoanswerit,onlyhe’strappedbehind

.)CanIjust…(lares

athim.)Whydon’twejustletthemachinegetthat?

Joey:(onmachine)’’sahookeroverhere

andwethoughtmaybeyou’dknowsomethingaboutit.

Ross:No!No!No!No!No!I-I-I-I—Ineedto,Ineedtoliedown.

[Scene:Monica’sRestaurant’sKitchen,she’scookingasoneofher

waiters,Stu,comesovertotalktoher.]

Stu:So,tonight’sthenightofthebigbachelorparty?

Monica:Yeah!Hey!Thanksforgettingmethatgirl’snumber.

Stu:’sthepartyfor?

Monica:Myhusband.

Stu:Youhiredyourhusbandahooker?

Monica:She’sastripper.

Stu:No,she’sahooker.

Monica:Isthat,isthatwhattheycallstripperssometimes?

Stu:Whenthey’rehookers.

Monica:OhmyGodStu!I-Ican’tbelieveyoudidthis!Nowareyou

absolutelysureshe’sahooker?

Stu:Eitherthatorshe’sjustthebest,mostexpensivedateIever

had.

(Monicarunsout.)

[Scene:MonicaandChandler's,JoeyandChandlerarestilldeciding

whattodoaboutthehooker.]

Joey:Maybeshemeanttogetyouahooker.

Chandler:Whywouldshedothat?

Joey:?Nowisthere

anythingyou’rereallybadaty’know,sexually?

Chandler:Thisistheworstbachelorpartyever!

Hooker:What’stakingyouboyssolong?

Joey:Inaminute!

Chandler:(ToJoey)Inaminute?What’sgonnahappeninaminute?!

Joey:Allright,allrightmaybe-maybeyoushouldjustaskherto

leave.

Chandler:Whyme?!

嘿，我没有抛弃瑞秋

尽管我们没在一起

哦，恩

我能..？

干脆让那机器回答他吧

嘿，罗斯，我是乔伊

有个妓女在这我想你应该知道一点吧

你应该知道吧

不!

不!

我我我我要晕啦

今晚是个单身聚会，是吗？

是啊嘿谢谢你给我那个女孩的号码

没问题,那那是谁的聚会啊？

给我老公的

你给你老公请妓女？

她是个脱衣舞娘

不她是个妓女

是否有时人们这样称呼脱衣舞娘？

当她们做妓女的时候

哦天啊怎么可能我这样做

现在你完全证实她是个妓女

她是最出名的，那是我有过最贵的约会了

可能她真的要给你一个妓女

为什么她要这样做

可能她要你学些什么

那你有没有什么“弱项”？你知道..

性方面？

这是最最差的单身聚会

为啥这么久

很快

很快？很快什么？

好啦！好啦！

或者，可能你就这样叫她走

为什么是我？

嘿,这是你的聚会啊

所以应该由你说

我不想说,你说

好，剪刀石头布来决定吧！

什么？

让人怀念呢。

我不记得我和你猜过拳啊

不不不不

不我怀念和你陷入困境

好啦我们还是在困境中的

是的,不过情况没有那么糟

记得吗？我们以前多么有趣

现在情况改变了

有所不同.我已经结婚了

是，当然嘿不要误会我很为你高兴

我怀念只是..

Joey:Hey!It’syourbachelorparty.

Chandler:Whichiswhyyoushoulddoit.

Joey:Idon’t!

Chandler:Youdoit!

Joey:Youdoit!

Chandler:AllrightRock,Paper,Scissorswhohastotellthewhore

toleave!(Joeysmirks.)What?

Joey:Imissthis.

Chandler:Idon’tthinkwe’veactuallydonethisbefore!

Joey:No,I-Imisshangingoutwithyou.

Chandler:Wellwe…westillhangout.

Joey:er?Youandmeusedtobeinseparable.

Y’knownowit’slike…thingsaredifferent.

Chandler:Welly’know,thingsaredifferent.I’m…I’mmarriednow.

Joey:Ohsure—Andhey,don’tgetmewrong,Iamsohappyforyou

…Imiss…hangingout…just-justus,y’know?

Chandler:Yeah,ouwhat;fromnowonwe’ll

maketimetohangoutwitheachother.

Joey:re.(Theyhugandareobservedbythehooker.)

Hooker:OhGod!Listen,Iamthisclosetorobbingyouguys.(Does

theclosesign.)

Monica:(enteringquickly)She’sahooker!She’sahooker!She’s

a…(Stopsassheseesher.)Hi!Uh,wespokeonthephone.(Goesand

shakesthehooker’shand.)

[Scene:JoeyandRachel's,RachelandPhoebeareatthecounteras

Rossenters.]

Ross:’sapleasantman!

Rachel:(quietly)Ohno…

Phoebe:I’dbettergo.(ShegoesandsitsdownintheLa-Z-Boy

E-cliner3000,thechairthatSitmagazinecalledchairoftheyear,

andtheybothlookather.)Justoverhere:Idon’twanttomissthe

fight.

Rachel:RossI’.I-IwillpromiseIwillstraighten

thisoutwithhimtomorrowinperson,orviae-mail.

Ross:Idon’tcareaboutyourdad!IcareaboutMona!Shewasthere

andnowshe’stotallyfreakedout!

Rachel:Ohokay,I’’shere-mailaddress?

Ross:Rachel!

Rachel:Allright,Ipromise.I’.

I’ll-I’ll-I’ll-I’lltalktoher.

Ross:Okay!

Rachel:Okay.

Ross:Thankyou!

Phoebe:That’sit?!Youcallthatafight?Comeon!"Wewereona

break!""Noweweren’t!"Whathappenedtoyoutwo?!

[Scene:Ross'sApartment,

isthereaswell.]

Ross:Thankyousomuchforcomingbackover.

Mona:Ohgood,you’,andIwasworriedthatitwasgoing

tobeuncomfortable.

Rachel:IknowMona,fall,I’msosorry

我们两人一起的时光

我也是

从今以后我们要腾时间来两人相处

好吧，来吧

天啊

我差点想打劫你们

她是妓女！她是妓女！

好吗？我们电话里聊过了

你爸来过

他是个和蔼的人呢

哦不会吧！

我应该走了

只是到这里我不想错过你们吵架

罗斯很对不起

好的我保证我明天解释清楚

到他面前

或电子邮件

我不在乎你爸只在乎莫娜

她当时也在她完全恼怒我了

哦可以我会搞定她的

她的电子邮件地址呢？

好啦！我保证

我会搞定的我会跟她说的

好的．谢谢

就这样？你叫这种叫吵架？

应该“我们分手吧！”“我不要”

你们两个怎么搞的？

谢谢你回来

好，你在这

是我很担心那会让人很不舒服

莫妮，听我说

第一我很抱歉我爸对你呼喝

但我听到你能完全控制住自己

你能告诉我怎么办到的呢？

重点！

是罗斯和我以前常约会

还有是我们将会有个孩子

但我们绝对不会再在一起

但我们绝对不会再在一起

哦因为我们都很恨对方

我意思是他占有欲太强,他妒忌心很强

他太执着于一些小事

试着约这个女人？

善解人意、温柔

...和聪明相比

可能你不要碰我好点

我不想要卷入一些

复杂的关系里面

我知道，但Mona

什么关系不是复杂的呢？

我是说我们都有各自的包袱

aboutmyfatheryellingatyou,butIheardyoutotallyheldyourown.

You’regonnahavetotellmehowyoudidthat.

Ross:Focus.

Rachel:…But—Okay,we

redefinitelynotgettingbacktogether.

Mona:HowcanIbesureonthat?

Rachel:Ohwejust—wedroveeachothercrazy!

Ross:Yeah.

Rachel:Imeanhewaspossessive,hewasjealous,hecouldneverjust

letthelittlethingsgo!

Ross:Tryingtodatethiswoman.

Rachel:Right!But,noneofthatcomparedtohowkindand-andhow

gentleandthoughtfulheis.(Rubbinghisshoulder.)

Ross:Probablyshouldn’ttouchme.

Mona:Y’know,I-I-Ijust…Idon’twanttogetinthemiddleof

somethingsocomplicated.

Rachel:Iknow,Igetit,butMona,whatrelationshipisnot

complicated?Imeanweallhaveourbaggage!Youmusttoo!Whyelse

wouldyoustillbesingle?(Monalooksather.)Iamsogonnaleave

rightnow.(Rossopensthedoorforherandsheleaves.)

Ross:ShouldIleavethisopenforyoutoo?

Mona:I’n’tyoujusttellmeaboutallthis?

Ross:Becausewhat’sgoingonwithRachelhasnothingtodowithhow

Ifeelaboutyou.

Mona:Yeah?Wellyoustillshouldatoldme.

Ross:IknowandIwasgoingto,butIthoughtitwasbetterthatyou

hearditfromRachel’…Imadeamistake,butit’s

onlybecauseIreally,!

Mona:Okay,Iguessyoucan…closethedoornow.(Hedoessoandthey

kiss.)

Rachel:(entering)Forgotmypurse!(Seesthemkissing.)Oh,youguys

madeup.(ToMona)He’sagoodkisserisn’the?(Rossgoestoclose

thedooronher.)I’mgoing!(QuicklyleavesandRosslocksthedoor.)

[Scene:MonicaandChandler's,thebachelorpartyhasendedandMonica

istryingtoexplainherselftoChandler.]

Monica:IswearIdidn’tknowshewasahooker!Imeanwh—Didyou

lethersmokeinhere?

Chandler:Herassprintisstillonyourgrandmother’squilt,doyou

reallywanttotalkaboutsmoking?

Monica:Y’knowwhat?I’sedyou

astripper(turnsontheradio),andyou’regonnagetastripper.

(Shestartstostrip.)

Chandler:Monica!Wait!

Monica:What?

Chandler:(putsonhiscrown)Carryon.

(Shedoessobytakingoffherjacketseductively,onlyshehastrouble

gettingonehandoutandslamsthejacketonthechairangrilyto

removeit.)

Monica:Ooh,I’lltakethem

off.(Goestodoso.)

Chandler:Couldyounotnarrate?

你也一定有

你为什么还要孤单一人呢？

我要走了

我要为你开门吗？

（你要走吗？）

我还没有确定

不如你告诉我这一切？

因为瑞秋怎样

也不会影响我对你的感觉

是的但你还是要告诉我

我知道我正要这样做

...我想你最好从瑞秋的父亲

口中知道她的事

...看我犯错误了

但那只是因为

我真的真的喜欢你

好啦……我想你能关上门了

忘了拿手袋

你们和好了！

他接吻很棒吧，是吗？

我要走啦！

我发誓我不知道她是个妓女

你让她在这里抽烟啦？

她的屁股印还在你祖母的被子上

你还要谈抽烟的事吗？

我会作出补偿

答应给你脱衣舞

...现在你有一个脱衣舞娘了

莫尼卡，等等

继续

这双网球鞋好紧

我想我要把它脱下来

你不要光用说的行吗？

好的水手

就因为你不爱他

你就不和他结婚？

噢你说真相给你爸吗？

大约一个小时以前

要去看电影吗？

爸，再见

这跟爱情有什么关系?

婚姻中有比爱情更重要事

婚姻比爱情重要的多

嘿，我已经想过我这决定的后果了

谁给你权利……

去死吧

居然有笨蛋在我电话里

Monica:Gotchasailor.(Kicksoneofhershoesoffanditlandsin

thekitchenknockingsomethingdown,butshecontinuestostrip.)

ClosingCredits

[Scene:JoeyandRachel's,Rachelisbeingyelledatbyherdadover

thephone,andhe’sbeengoingonforsolongRachelisholdingthe

phoneawayfromherearandreadingabook.]

:(onphone)…justbecauseyou’renotinlovewiththeguy

youcan’t…

Phoebe:(entering,quietly)Wow,youtoldyourdadthetruth.

Rachel:Aboutanhourago.

Phoebe:Wannagoseeamovie?

Rachel:Yes!(Shegetsupandsetsthephoneonthecounterwithout

hangingitup.)Byedaddy.(Phoebeandherleave.)

:(onphone,nothearingher)…there’sgonnabeawedding!

(Joeyentersfromhisroomandgoestogetabeerfromthefridge.)

That’sunacceptableRachel!Whatthehelldoeslovehavetodowith

itanyway?!Therearemoreimportantthingsinamarriageotherthan

love!(Joeyhearssomethingandlooksaroundforthe

source.)…constantlythinkingaboutthings!Youhavetothinkabout

theconsequencesofyourdecision.(Joeyfindsthatthesoundis

comingfromthephoneandputsittohisear.)

Joey:(onphone)Hey!Idotoothinkabouttheconsequencesofmy

decisions!(Listens)Whatgivesyoutherightto…(Listens)Goto

hell!(Hangsupthephoneandopensthefridge.)Stupidguyonmy

phone.

End

809TheOneWithTheRumor

809TheOneWithTheRumor

[Scene:JoeyandRachel's,JoeyisreadingWhattoExpectWhenYou’re

ExpectingasRachelentersfromherbedroom.]

Joey:HeyRachlisten,didyouknowthatduringpregnancyyourfingers

swelluptotwicetheirsizeandnevergoback.

Rachel:(lookingatherfingers)Ohmy…God!Letmeseethat!(Grabs

thebookfromhim.)

Joey:(laughing)Youfallforiteverytime!

Phoebe:(entering)Hey!

Rachel:Hi!

Phoebe:Ibroughtyoumyoldmaternityclothes!(Setsabagonthe

counter.)

Rachel:OhPheebsthat’ssosweet—(Grabsapairofpants)—Ooh,

thosearesocute!

Phoebe:Yeah!Andlook,(Grabsthepants)seehowtheyexpandasthe

809谣言

嘿,瑞秋.听我说.

你知道怀孕期间,你的手指会肿成原来

两倍粗，

并且不会再缩小?

噢天啊!给我看看.

你每次都中招~~.

嘿!

嘿.

你看,我给你带来了我的旧孕妇服.

喔,菲比.你真是好人.

噢,这裤子很可爱啊.

是啊.

还有你看.

babygrows?(There’sastretchypartinfront.)Andthenafterthe

baby’sborn,they’regreatforshopliftingmelons.

Monica:(entering)Ohgoodyou’givingtomorrow,

fouro’clock.(ToRachel)Oh,erthatguy

WillColbertfromhighschool?

Rachel:No.

Monica:HewasinRoss’sclass…marchingband…kindaoverweight?

Well,washisthinfriend.

Rachel:Wow!Idon’,areyousureyou’renot

talkingaboutyourimaginaryboyfriend.

Monica:NothatwasJarred!Wow!Ihaven’tthoughtabouthimina

longtime…(Staresoffintothedistancelostinthought.)(Pause)

Anyway,ummWill’s,Will’shereonbusinessandhedidn’thavea

placetogosoIinvitedhimhere.

Rachel:Ohthat’snice.

Monica:Oh,andbytheway,he’e

looksgoo-ood!Okay,Imeanreally,reallygorgeous!(Joeyclearshis

throat.)IstillloveChandler.

Joey:Ijustwantyoutosayitonceinawhile.

Monica:Allrightokay,justsoyouknow,I’mnotgonnamakeaturkey

thisyear.

Joey:What?!

Monica:WellPhoebedoesn’teatturkey…

Joey:Phoebe!

Phoebe:Turkey’sarebeautiful,intelligentanimals!

Joey:Nothey’renot!They’reuglyandstupidanddelicious!

Monica:Allright!Okay,it’’sstillonadiet,

Chandlerdoesn’teatThanksgivingfood,andRachel’shavingher

aversiontopoultry.

Joey:Sheis?

Rachel:RememberIhadtoleavetheroomtheotherdaywhenyouhad

thatroastchicken?

Joey:oughtthatwasbecauseIputthewholethingon

myhandandmadeitwalkacrossthetable.

Monica:Anyway,itjustdoesn’tseemworthittomakeawholeturkey

?It’salotofwork.

Joey:ButyougottahaveturkeyonThanksgiving!Imean,Thanksgiving

withnoturkeyislike-likeFourthofJulywithnoapplepie!OrFriday

withnotwopizzas!

Monica:Allrightfine!Ifitmeansthatmuchtoyou!But

just—there’sgonnabeatonleftover.

Joey:Notherewon’t!IpromiseIwillfinishthatturkey!

Monica:Allright,you’retellingmeyoucaneatanentireturkey

injustonesitting?

Joey:That’sright!‘CauseI’maTribbiani!(ToRachel)Andthis

iswhatwedo!Imeanwemaynotbegreatthinkersorworldleaders,

wedon’treadalotorrunveryfast,butdamnit!Wecaneat!

OpeningCredits

[Scene:MonicaandChandler's,Chandleriswatchingfootball,and

it’sactuallytherightgameGreenBayatDetroit(althoughnotthis

year’s),asMonicaisgettingeverythingready.]

看它能撑开很宽

让婴儿长大.

孩子出生以后,

就可以用它去店铺偷窃.

很好.你们全都在.

明天感恩节,4点.

噢,你猜猜我还请了谁?

还记得那个人吗,高中同学Will

Colbert?

不记得.

他是跟罗斯一班的.

参加过游行乐队.

有点肥胖.

应该是超级肥胖.

我想说,我那时算是他的“瘦朋友”了.

喔,我完全没有印象呢.

你是不是在说着你的幻想中的男友啊?

不会,那个是Jared.

哇.

我也很久没想过他咯.

不管怎么说,Will他

Will他正在本地公干

而且他也没有别的地方去

所以我就请他来了.

那不错嘛.

没错.

还有啊,他已经没有了一大堆肥肉.

我意思是,他看起来很不错.

非常非常正点.

我还是喜欢钱德的.

这是你的口头禅吗.

是了，我要告诉你一下,

我今年不准备煮火鸡了.

什么?

菲比不吃火鸡.

菲比!

火鸡是很美丽,很有智慧的动物.

不是,它们不是!

他们是又丑陋,又蠢,又美味的动物.

不止是菲比.

Will他也在节食,

钱德又不吃感恩节的食物,

而瑞秋讨厌吃家禽.

她?

是啊,你不记得你们养鸡的时候我都不

过来的吗?

是~但是我以为是因为我把它捉在手上

让它这样在桌上走来走去的缘故啊.

不管怎样,只为三个人煮一只火鸡太麻

烦了,明白吗?

很费精神的.

Monica:Hey,isn’tweirdtothinkabouthownextyearatthistime

they’llbealittlebabyatthetable?(Chandlerturnsaroundin

horror.)(Seeinghim)Rachel’s!Butgoodtoknowwhereyou’reat!

Phoebe:(entering)Hey!

Monica:Hey!

Phoebe:HappyThanksgiving!

Monica:Youtoo!

Phoebe:AnythingIcandotohelp?

Monica:erusuallyhelpsmewiththis,but

he’sreallyintothegamesoIdon’ou

helpmefoldthesenapkins?(Handsherastackofthem.)

Phoebe:Sure!

Monica:I’mgonnagoacrossthehalltocheckontheyams.

Phoebe:Okay.(Shestartsfoldingthenapkinsinhalf.)

Monica:No!No!No!Nosweetie!No!Notlikethat!We’renotata

’vegotta—

showedyouatChristmastime,remember?

Phoebe:Yeah,italljustcamescreamingbacktome.(Monicaexits.)

(ToChandler)Sohow’sthegame?

Chandler:Ihavenoidea.

Phoebe:What?

Chandler:Yeah!I’mjustpretendingtowatchthegamesoIdon’t

havetohelpoutwithstuff.

Phoebe:Idon’tbelieveyou!Thatis…brilliant!AndMonicahasno

idea?

Chandler:Nope!EveryonceandawhileIjustscreamstuffattheTV.

(MonicaentersandChandlerscreamsstuffattheTV.)

Monica:Isyourteamwinninghon?

Chandler:Yeah!Andersonjustscoredagain!(ToPhoebe)There’sno

Anderson.

Phoebe:?Idon’tthinkIcan

helpyouafterall,Ididn’trealizethisgamewason.

Monica:Oh,Ididn’tknowyoulikedfootball.

Phoebe:WellnormallyIdon’t,buty’know…(looksattheTV)…Green

Bayisplaying.

Monica:YoulikeGreenBay?

Phoebe:Wellit’sonlylikemyfavoritebay!{Actually,it’snot

getsalittlecoldinwinter,butinWisconsinwinter

onlylastsfromAugusttoJune. }

(PhoebejoinsChandleronthecouchasthereisaknockonthedoor

whichMonicaanswers.)

Monica:Hey!

Will:Hey!

(Oh,Ishouldpointoutthatthelivestudioaudienceatthispoint

dabsolutelynoideathatthisWill

characterwasthatpopular!Maybetheyshouldmakehimtheseventh

ouldworkoutjustfinesincehe’salreadymarried

playedbysomeguynamedBradPitt,Iguess

he’ssomesortofactor.)

Will:HappyThanksgiving!

Monica:Awwthanks!GodWillI’msogladthatyoucame!Youlook

但是感恩节一定要有火鸡才行啊.

我意思是,感恩节没有火鸡,就象是...

国庆没有苹果派.

或星期五没有双份比萨.

好吧,好吧.如果真的要煮.

就会吃剩很多菜啊.

不会的.

我保证我能把那火鸡吃光.

你是说,你能一顿把整只火鸡吃光.

没错.

因为我是崔比昂尼家族的一分子.

我们就是能做到.

我们或者没有什么聪明才智...

或什么领导能力.

我们不怎么识字或

跑的很快之类.

但该死!我们能吃!

下一年这张桌子边上多了一个

小孩子会不会很奇怪呢?

瑞秋的孩子.

但很好

我知道你是怎么想的了.

嘿.

感恩节快乐.

感恩节快乐.

我能帮什么忙吗?

的确有点事要你帮忙.

通常都是钱德做的,但是他很想看这场

比赛

所以我不想麻烦他.

你能帮我排好这些餐巾吗?

好啊.

我要到对面去看看那些土豆泥.

好的.

不,不,不,不是,亲爱的.

不是.

不是这样弄的.

我们又不是要开篝火晚会.

你要把他们叠成象天鹅一样.

我圣诞的时候教过你的,记得吗?

是的.它忽然间涌上我的脑袋里了.

比赛怎么样啦?

我不知道.

什么?

是啊,我只是假装在看比赛

那样我就不必帮忙做事了.

我真不敢相信你这么做.

你实在是...

太聪明了!

莫尼卡一点都不知道吗?

不知道.

great!Youmust’velostlike…

Will:,I’mgonnabeinoneofthoseSubwaysandwich

commercials.

Monica:Apie!(Willbroughtapie.)

Will:ht,it’snofat,it’snosugar,it’sno

dairy…it’tout.

Monica:Youwannameetsomepeople?Thisisuh;thisismyhusband

er,thisisWill.

Will:Hey.

Chandler:Ohhey.I’dshakeyourhandbutuh;I’mreallyintothe

,Ithinkit’dbebetterformyegoifwedidn’tstand

rightnexttoeachother.

Monica:ThisisPhoebe.

Phoebe:(nonchalantlyglancing)Hey.(Turnsbackaround.)Wow!(Looks

up.)Welldone.

Monica:(toWill)Wannagivemeahand?

Will:Sure!Monica,Ican’tgetoverhowgreatyoulook!Youlook

stunning!

Monica:Wellyoulookincredibletoo!You’rejust—you’resofit!

Chandler:I’mwatchingthegame,butI’mnotdeaf!

Monica:Ohumm,Imeanttotellyou,Rossiscoming.

Will:!IloveRoss!

Monica:helGreentoo.(Willstopssuddenly.)

Will:Oh.

Monica:Isthereaproblem?

Will:,it’’sjustuh,GodIhatedher.

Monica:What?

Will:Yeah,

hey,itwasalongtimeago,I’minagoodplace,itmightbeactually

anycakesorcookiesorsomething?

(Startslooking.)NoWillno!

Chandler:(ToPhoebe)Y’know,it’sbeenawhilesincewe’ve

eshould.

Phoebe:Ohokay.

Chandler:Ohcomeon!

Phoebe:Noooo!!Damnyouref!Youburninhell!!!

(Joeyenterseatingpotatochips.)

Monica:Hey,whatareyoudoing?Yougottasaveroom,you’vegot

almostanentireturkeytoeat.

Joey:owarm

’chipsislikestretching.

Monica:Allright.

Joey:Don’tworry,Tribbianisnevergetfull.

Will:Iactuallyknowwhatyou’retalkingabout.I’mheretotell

yousomethingmyfriend,youcaneatandeatandeatbutnothingwill

everfillthatvoid.

Joey:(ToMonica)Whothehellisthisguy?

Monica:Will!Fromhighschool.

Joey:Ohhey!

Monica:(toWill)Joey.

Will:Hello.

每隔一阵我就对着电视大叫两声.

你的那队赢了吗,亲爱的?

噢是的.Anderson又达阵取分了.

根本没有Anderson这个人.

我也想加入呢.

嘿,莫.我想我不能帮你忙了.

我刚才不知道直播着这场比赛.

是吗.

我不知道你喜欢看橄榄球的哦.

是么,平常的话.我是不爱看的.

但,你要知道.

这是绿色海湾队的比赛啊.

你喜欢绿色海湾队的吗?

是啊,它是我最喜欢的海湾了.

嘿.

感恩节快乐.

噢,谢谢.

天啊,Will.你能出席我太高兴了.

你实在...看起来实在太棒了.

你一定减掉了...

150磅.

我是三明治公司的死对头呢~~.

这是派.

没错.它没有油,没有糖,没有奶油.

它什么也不是.把它丢掉吧~~.

我给你介绍一下.

这是我老公钱德.

钱德,他是Will.

嘿.

哦,嘿.

我想跟你握个手的,但我实在太喜欢看

这场比赛了.

还有,我这样说可能没有那么自私,

因为我们站太远了.

这是菲比.

你好?

嘿.

（哇）.

做的好.

你能帮我忙吗?

当然.

莫尼卡,你看起来也很不赖嘛.

你很迷人呢.

你也是一样.你就象是...

你很健硕.

我是在看比赛,但我不是聋子.

我一定要告诉你.罗斯正在回来的路上.

罗斯会来.太好了.

我喜欢罗斯.

那太好了.还有瑞秋.格林也来.

噢.

Ross:(entering)Will!

Will:Ross!

Ross:Hey-heyyoucame!Manyoulookincredible!Hotstuff!(Theyhug

andRossrealizeswhathesaid.)Hotstuff?

Will:It’sgoodtoseeyouman.

Ross:Yeah,,so-sowhatareyouupto?

Will:I’macommoditiesbroker.

Ross:Really?Yeahthat-thatsoundsinteresting.

Will:Yeah,it’’mrichandthin.

Ross:Oh!ManIdon’tthinkI’veseenyousinceuh,LanceDavis’

graduationparty.

Will:Thatwassuchafunnight!

Ross:d’vebeengoodifwehadgottenin,butstillreal

fun.

Will:Yeah.

Ross:Yeah.

Will:ememberhowintodinosaurs

wewere?

Ross:(laughs)Yeah.

Will:Sowhatdoyou,whatdoyoudonow?

Ross:Sohowlongareyouintown?

Rachel:(entering,carryingabakingdish)Hi!

Monica:.(Takesthebakingdishfromher.)

Will:(glaringatRachel)RachelGreen.

Ross:Aw—oh,that’-areyougonnabeokay?

Will:Oh,I’ll-I’dIhateherRoss!Ihateher!

Ross:Will,highschoolwas-wasalongtimeago.

Will:Lookatherstandingtherewiththoseyams!Mytwogreatest

enemiesRoss:RachelGreenandcomplexcarbohydrates.

Rachel:(seesWill)OhmyGodMonica,whoisthat?

Monica:That’sWillfromhighschool!

Rachel:Oh!Idonotrememberhim!Wow!He'sreallygotthatsexy,

smolderingthinggoingon.(WeseeWillangrilystaringatRachel.)

OhmyGod,he’s…Lookatthewayhe’

he’stryingtomouthsomethingtome,butIcan’tmakeitout.(Will

mouths,"Ihateyou.")

Monica:Okay,dinner’sready!

Chandler:Goodgame!

Phoebe:Yeah.

Chandler:ffort.

Monica:Oh,sowhowon?

Phoebe:(simultaneously)GreenBay.

Chandler:(simultaneously)Detroit.

Monica:What?

Phoebe:WelltheLionstechnicallywon,butitwasamoralvictory

fortheGreenBay…Mermen.

(TheysitdownatthetableandWillgoestotalktoRachel.)

Rachel:Hi!Will,right?

Will:Right.

Rachel:Hi!I’mRachelGreen.

Will:OhI-Irememberyou.

有什么问题吗?

没有.

没问题.只是...

天,我很讨厌她.

什么?

没错,我讨厌她.

她在高中的时候是我的噩梦.

但嘿,已经是很多年以前的事了.

我现在很好.

或者再见到她也不错吧.

有没有什么蛋糕,饼干,之类的东西?

不行,Will!不可以!

知道吗,我们已经好一阵没有叫了.

我们叫一下好吗?

噢,好的.

上啊!

不行!

去你的ref!你去死吧!

嘿,你在干什么?

你要空着肚子啊.

你还要吃几乎一只火鸡啊.

让我解释一下人体是怎么运作的.

我要先给我的胃热身一下.

吃薯片就象是...

压腿.

随你便.

不用担心.

崔比昂尼是永远不会饱的.

我知道你的想法我只想告诉你,朋友.

你可以,不停的吃,但没有东西能填满那

种空虚感.

这个家伙是谁啊?

Will.我的高中同学.

乔伊.

你好.

Will!

罗斯!

嘿，你来了.

天啊,你太帅了吧.

尤物!

尤物?

能见到你太好了,老友.

是啊.我也是.

你在做什么工作?

我是个生活品经纪.

真的?

是啊.

听起来很不错嘛.

是吗,不是的.

但我变得又有钱又苗条.

我记得最后一次见你是在...

Rachel:Really?!Aren’tyousweet!Igottatellyouthough,Iam,

-ohhangon!Didweumm,

didwefoolaroundatLanceDavis’graduationparty?

Will:Youareunbelievable.

Rachel:Thankyou!

Monica:(breakingitup)UhRachel?Rachel,whydon’tyousithere?

(NexttoJoey)AndWillyousitwayoverthere.(Theothersideof

thetable.)

(a

looksliketurkey.)

Joey:That’sit?!EvenifnobodyhelpsmeIcaneatthatnoproblem.

Atleastgivemeachallenge!

Monica:(laughs)ThisisChandler’theturkey.

(Setsdownahugeturkey.)

Joey:(quietly)-howbigisthat?

Monica:Aboutnineteenpounds.

Joey:(ToRachel)It’slikemewhenIwasborn.

Rachel:Allright,whowoulduh,likesomeyams?Will?

Will:Oh,you’dlikethatwouldn’tya?

Rachel:What?(JoeystartsofferingRosssometurkey.)Ohy’know

what?Canwepleasekeepthechickenandtheturkeyandeverything

ontheothersideofthetable?Thesmellisjustyuck!

Will:(sneezetalks)Typical.

Rachel:I’?

Will:lofyou,RachelGreen,QueenRachel

doeswhatevershewantsinlittleRachelland.(Doesafakehairflip.)

Joey:(ToMonica)Seriously,whoisthisguy?

Rachel:Umm,I’-doyouhaveaproblemwithme?

Will:Idon’tknow?DoI?DoI?

Phoebe:Ithinkyoudo.

Monica:(ToRachel)Apparentlyyouwereumm,alittlemeantohimin

highschool.

Will:Alittlemean?Youmademylifemiserable!

Rachel:I’m-I’m—Ihadnoidea.I’msorry.I…

Will:t!Bringontheyams!

Monica:-you’veworkedsohard…

Will:Yams!!!!

Monica:Okay.(ChandlergrabsthedishfromMonicaandhandsitto

Willwhostartsdishingoutalargehelping.)

Rachel:UhWillumm,IjustwanttosaythatI’mrealsorryfor

whateverI-Ididtoyouinhighschool…

Will:Oh,itwasn’club!

Rachel:Youhadaclub?!

Will:That’sright,TheIHateRachelGreenClub!

Rachel:Whoa!MyGod!Sowhat,youalljustjoinedtogethertohate

me?!Whoelsewasinthisclub?

Will:MeandRoss.(PointsatRoss.)

Ross:Noneedtopoint,sheknowswhoRossis.

CommercialBreak

[Scene:MonicaandChandler's,scenecontinuedfromearlier.]

Rachel:(ToRoss)SoyouwereinanIHateRachelclub?

LanceDavison的毕业晚会上.

那天晚上实在是太有趣了.

是啊,如果我们不参加就好了,

但是...实在有趣.

是啊.

是啊.

天啊,我们那时喉都醉了.

你还记得我们怎么钻进那恐龙里吗?

记得~~.

话说回来...你从事什么?

哎你会在这城市呆多久?

嗨.

嘿.

瑞秋.格林.

噢,就是她.

你还好吧?

没事没事.

天啊,我太讨厌她了,罗斯.

我讨厌她!

Will,高中已经过去了.

你看她拿着那些土豆站在那边.

那是我生平最大的两个敌人,罗斯.

瑞秋.格林和甜食.

噢天啊!莫尼卡,他是谁?

他是Will,高中时代的同学.

我不记得他了.

哇,的确很性感的大帅哥呢.

噢天啊.他...

你看他看着我的样子.

我想他在跟我说什么,但我猜不出来.

好啦,晚饭准备好了.

比赛太精彩了.

是啊!

防守的很好.

是吗,那么哪边赢?

绿色海湾.

底特律.

什么?

是这样的，狮队技术上来说是赢了.

但绿色海湾队在精神上打倒对方...

嗨.

你叫Will,是吧?

没错.

是的,嗨.

我是瑞秋.格林.

噢,我...我记得你.

真的吗?

你人真好.

我一定要告诉你虽然...我...

我对你没有什么印象.

哦,噢,等等!

Will:Yeshewas.(Holdsuphishandforahigh-five.)

Ross:.

Rachel:Sowhoelsewasinthisclub?

Ross:Uhactually,there-therewasalsothatexchangestudentfrom

ThailandbutI-Idon’tthinkhe-heknewwhatitwas.

Rachel:SoRoss,wewentoutfortwoyears,andyounevertoldmeyou

wereinanIHateRachelclub.

Will:Youwentoutwithher?!Wehadapact!

Ross:Thatwasinhighschool!It’snotlikeitwasbindingforever.

Will:Thenwhydidithavethewordeternityinit?

Rachel:OkayMonica,didyouknowaboutthis?!

Monica:IswearIdidn’t.(ToRossandWill)Hey!Isthatwhyyou

guysusedtogouptoyourbedroomandlockthedoor?

RossandWill:Yeah.

Monica:Hmm,alittlerelieved,Igottasay.

Ross:LookRachI-I’msorry,okay?I…Iwasastupidkid,okay?The

onlyreasonIjoined…

Will:Co-founded!

Ross:…-foundedtheclubwasbecauseIwasinsanely

slyIdidn’ou

thinkaboutittheIHateRachelClubwasreallytheILoveRachel

Club.

Will:Uh,exceptthatitwasreallytheIHateRachelClub.

Rachel:?Youguyswouldjustlikegettogetherandlike

justsaymeanthingsaboutme?

Will:Well,wedidalittlemorethanthat.

Ross:No-no!-no.

Phoebe:What?!Whatelsedidyoudo?

Will:Westartedarumor.

Rachel:Whatrumor?

Phoebe:Oh,comeonWill!Justtakeoffyourshirtandtellus!

Rachel:Ross!

Ross:-we…saidthattherumorwas…that

umm…youhadboth…maleandfemalereproductiveparts.

Rachel:What?!

Will:That’sright!Wesaidyourparentsflippedacoin,decidedto

raiseyouasagirl,butyoustillhadahintofapenis.

Rachel:(shocked)OhmyGod!

Monica:Youstartedthat?!

Rachel:What?!Youheardthat?!(GoesandstandsbehindJoey.)

Monica:Everyoneatourschoolheardit!

Chandler:Everybodyatmyschoolheardit!Youwerethehermaphrodite

cheerleaderfromLongIsland?!

Rachel:Ohno!!!!OhmyGod!!Thisisallmakingsomuchsensetome

now!ThisiswhyAdamCarterwouldn’tgooutwithme!Thisiswhy

BillyTrattwouldjuststayinthisregion!(Motionstoherbreasts.)

(Joeyhasturnedaround.)

Ross:Actually,-sothatone’snotreally

ourfault.

Rachel:Monica,howcomeyounevertoldmethis?!

Monica:safraidthatyouwere

我想我记起来了.

我们...

我们在LanceDavison毕业舞会里见过吗?

你真是令人难以置信.

谢谢.

瑞秋,瑞秋,你不如坐这里吧,而...

Will,你坐这边.

就这只?

就算没人帮我,我都可以把它搞定.

至少给我点难度嘛.

这是钱德的鸡.

这才是你的火鸡.

它有多重?

大概19磅吧.

我出生的时候也只有那么重呢.

好.谁要土豆泥?

Will?

噢,你喜欢土豆泥,是吗?

什么?

你可以把那只鸡,和火鸡放到桌子的那

一边吗?

那种味道太...

典型.

对不起.你说什么?

我说这种行为是典型的.

典型的你,瑞秋格林.

女王瑞秋.喜欢做什么就做什么.

我认真的,这个家伙是谁啊?

不好意思.

你...你是不是对我有意见啊?

不知道呢.我有吗?

我有吗?

我想你有.

很明显,你曾...

在高中的时候做了点过分的事.

一点过分的事?

你令我的生命失去色彩.

我一点都不知道有这种事啊.

对不起.

对,你应该道歉.

该死的!把土豆泥拿来.

Will,但是你努力这么久...

土豆泥!

好啦.

Will,我只是想说无论我在高中对你做

过什么我很抱歉.

不只是我.

我们有个俱乐部的.

你们有个俱乐部?

没错.

叫“我恨瑞秋.格林”俱乐部.

gonnacryandthenshowittome.

(JoeyisnowlookingatRachel,andsinceRachel’sstandingandhe’s

sittingdownandhe’snotlookingatherface…Yougetthepicture.)

Rachel:Joeystopstaring!There’snothingthere!It’snottrue!

Joey:I’mafraidI’mgonnaneedproof.

Rachel:Oh!(Hitshimandstormsout.)

[TimeLapse,dinnerhasendedforeveryoneexceptJoeywholookslike

tohavefinishedtheturkey,untilheturnstheplatearoundand

revealsheonlyateoneside.]

Joey:YouaremyEverest.

Monica:Joey,youdon’thavetofinishthat.

Joey:isewhat’snext?TodayI’mjustaguywho

can’tfinishaturkey,buttomorrowI’mtheguywhoeatshalfa

Powerbar,wrapsuptherest,andputsinthefridge?No!No,Ijust…I

just—Igottachangemypants.(Getsupandheadsforthedoor.)Jeans

havenogive.(Exits.)

Rachel:(enteringcarryingabook)Okay!Okay!ListentowhatSean

McMahonwroteinmyyearbooksenioryear,"DearRach,you’resuch

agoodperson."Notgirl!Person!

Ross:Rach,Ithinkyou’rereadingalittletoomuchintoit.

Rachel:(readingwhathewroteagain)"DearRach,you’reagreat

boutyourtiney-wienie."(Willlaughs.)

Ross:Look,whatdoyouwantmetodo?Doyouwantmetocalleveryone

intheentireschoolandtellthemitwasn’ttrue?!

Rachel:Yes!

Will:CouldyoualsotellthemI’mskinnynow?

Monica:Oh!Metoo!

Ross:Welllook-lookI’mnotcallinganybody!Okay?Itwaslikea

millionyearsago!

Rachel:Idon’tcarehowlongagoitwas!YoutoldpeoplethatIwas

halfandhalf!Y’knowwhat?IjustwanttopointoutIneverdid

anythingtohurtyouinhighschool.

Monica:That’snottotallytrue.

Rachel:What?

Ross:What?

Monica:Wellyou-youdidstartthatrumoraboutRossmakingoutwith

,our50-year-oldlibrarian.

Ross:(shocked)(ToRachel)Howdidyouknowthat?!!!!

Monica:It’strue?!!

Ross:No.

Rachel:Yesitis!Isawyouguysgoingatitbehindthecardcatalog!

(Rossisatalossforwords.)

Will:?ShealsomadeoutwithTakakaCi-Kekthenight

beforehewentbacktoThailand.

Chandler:I’uwereinhighschoolyoumadeoutwith

a50-year-oldwoman?

Ross:Hey!Shedidn’tlook50!

Chandler:Didshelook16?

Rachel:Ohh,there’sapictureofherintheyearbookactually.

Phoebe:Oh!(Theyalllook.)Wow!

Ross:Shedidn’tphotographwell!

噢我的天啊.

这么说你们组织起来恨我?

还有谁参加了这俱乐部啊?

我,还有罗斯.

不用指着我.她知道谁是罗斯的.

那么说，你真的加入了“我恨瑞秋”俱乐

部?

是的.

不,不.

那么,还有谁参加过那俱乐部?

实际上,还有哪个泰国来的交换生,但

是

我想他不知道他加入的是什么俱乐部.

好啊，罗斯,我们约会了两年

而你从未向我提起你参加过“我恨瑞

秋”俱乐部?

你和他约会?

我们要遵守守则的啊.

那是高中的事了.

并不是一辈子都要遵守的东西.

那为什么守则里面有“永恒”这个词啊?

好了,莫尼卡?

你之前知道这事吗?

我发誓，我不知道.

这就是你们两个整天锁在房间里的原因

吗?

没错.

我一定要说.我放下心头石了.

听我说,瑞秋.

对不起,好吗?

我当时什么都不懂,是吗?

我加入的唯一原因...

是联合创办.

联合创办的原因...

创办这个俱乐部的原因是因为我疯狂的

喜欢着你.

我一定要说,我无法把持自己.

但你仔细想想,“我恨瑞秋”俱乐部实际

上是

“我爱瑞秋”俱乐部.

除非那个俱乐部的确是“我恨瑞秋”俱

乐部.

好了,那又怎样?

你们就两个人聚到一处然后说我的坏话?

我们还做了一点点小事.

不,不,没有,没有.

你们还做了什么?

我们造谣.

什么谣言?

别这样,Will.

把衣服脱下告诉我们吧.

Chandler:Well,sheprobablywasn’tfamiliarwiththeprocesshaving

spentmostofherlifesittingforoilpaintings!

Phoebe:Sohowdidthishappen?Didshe,didshelureyoutoanearly

birddinner?

Ross:ust

thing

ustknow,Anitawasverygentleandtender.

Maysherestinpeace…

Monica:Didn’tshewalkwithacane?

Ross:Onlywhenitwasdamp!!(ToRachel)Ican’tbelieveyou-you

toldpeopleaboutthis?!Everybodyknew?!Y’knowwhat?(ToWill)I’m

backintheclub!

Will:Yeah!(Theyhigh-five.)

Phoebe:Iwannajoin!

Rachel:Wh—Phoebe!!

Phoebe:I’msorry.I’gottobeinaclub.I-Ididn’t

gotohighschool,butthreeofuswouldmeetbehindadumpsterto

r.

Rachel:Allright,y’know—Fine!Youguyshaveyourstupidlittle

club,butIwouldjustliketosayiswhatyoudidtomeiswayworse

thanwhatIdidtoyou!Yougavemeatiney-wienie!(Willlaughs.)

Monica:Allright,listenyou’,evenwith

thatrumoryouwereoneofthemostpopulargirlsinschooland

lwantedtobelikeyousomuch

shestuffedherpantswithaTootsieRoll!

Rachel:Wow…

Monica:AndRoss,ifitweren’tforRachel’srumorImeannoone

youonthemap!

Ross:Asaromanceroftheelderly.

Monica:Hey!wasthekindofwomanyoucouldtellsheused

tobepretty.

Ross:Theeyes…didstillsparkle.

Monica:-you’ve

htnowyou’vegotsomuch

’tyoujustletthis

go?

Rachel:She’sright.

Ross:earehavingababytogether.

Will:Holdon!Yougotherpregnant?

Ross:Yeah.

Will:Areyagettingmarried?

Ross:Nope.

Will:Soyouknockedherupbutyou’!

(Wantsanotherhigh-fiveandRossignoreshim.)Anybody?

Phoebe:Okay.(Goesoverandhugshim.)It’sexactlyhowI’d

imagineditwouldbe.

Joey:(entering,wearingthematernitypantsfromearlier)Allright

where’sthatturkey!

Phoebe:Joey!Thosearemymaternitypants!

Joey:Notnow!ThesearemyThanksgivingpants!

ClosingCredits

罗斯!

其实不是什么大事来的.

我们...我们...

我们说...

那谣言是...

那个恩...

你有两个...

男性和女性的生殖器官.

什么?!

没错.我们说你父母用掷铜板,

决定把你当是女生来教养,

但你还是有那么一条小东西.

噢天啊!

是你们说起的?

什么，你听过这事?

我们学校的每个人都知道!

我们学校的每个人也都听过!

原来你就是长岛来的

两性人拉拉队长?

喔,不要!

天啊!我终于想明白怎么回事了.

难怪AdamCarter不肯和我约会了.

还有BillyTrent光摸这里.

其实BillyTrent现在成了同性恋,

所以他这样对你不是我们的错.

莫尼卡,为什么你从不告诉我这件事?

我以为是真的.

我怕告诉你你会哭起来,

然后拿出来给我看.

乔伊,不要再盯着我看了.

那里什么都没有.那是假的.

我很怕,我要看到证据.

你是我的珠穆朗玛峰.

乔伊,你不一定要把它吃完的.

噢,我要吃完.

不然的话,下次是什么啊?

今天,我只是个不能吃完火鸡的人,但

明天,我是个吃了半根棒棒糖,

把剩下的卷起来放回冰箱里的人?

不可以!

我只需要换条裤子.

我之前怎么想的?

牛仔裤不够松动.

好了.好了.

听听ShawnMcMahon写了什么在我的高中

纪念册上.

亲爱的瑞秋,你是那么好的一个人.

不是女生.是人!

瑞秋,我想你有点想得太深了吧.

亲爱的瑞秋,你是那么好的一个人.

为你的小缺点感到可惜.

[Scene:MonicaandChandler's,Willhasleftandtherestofthegang

iswatchingJoeyfinishtheturkey.]

Joey:Wellthat’sit.I’!(Wipeshisforehead.)There

comethemeatsweats.(Chandlerhandshimatowelandhewipeshis

face.)

Monica:WellJoey,we’reall…we’reallveryproudofyou.

Chandler:Yes,IbelievewecanexpectacallfromthePresidentany

momentnow.

Phoebe:Isthereanythingwecandoforyou?

Joey:Nojust,nobodypressonmystomach.

Rachel:Youcankeepthosepantsbytheway.

(JoeynoticesMonicahasgottenapie.)

Joey:Whoa—hey—wh-wh-whatdoyougotthere?Whatisthat?Pie?

Monica:Yeah,youwantsome?

Joey:Ah,justcutmealittlesliver.(Monicapreparestocutalittle

sliver.)Alittlebigger.(Monicapreparestocutabiggerpiece.)

Littlebigger.(Monicamovestheknifeagain.)What?!Areyouafraid

you’regonnarunout?!Cutmearealpiece!

End

你想我怎么样啊?

你想我打电话给我们所有高中同学，

告诉他们这件事不是真的?

没错.

你可以顺便告诉他们我现在瘦下来吗?

噢!我也是.

你看.你看.

我不会打什么电话的.

这事象已经过了一百万年了.

我不管它过了多久.

你告诉人们我是阴阳人.

你知道吗?我想提一点,

我高中的时候从未做过伤害你的事.

那倒未必.

什么?

什么?

是啊,是你先说起那个关于

罗斯和Alton老师做过的谣言,

那个50岁的图书馆老师.

你怎么知道的?!

真的吗?

不是.

是的，是真的.

我看到你们俩躲到分类卡柜后面去.

怎么...

Alton老师?

她也和NatacaKaikette做过

就在他回泰国的前一个晚上.

对不起.

你高中的时候和一个50岁的女人干过那

种事?

嘿,她看起来一点都不象50岁!

他看起来象60岁?

噢,在纪念册里有她的照片.

哇!

她拍起照来不好看.

她可能对生命的过程不熟悉,

花了大半生坐着画画.

究竟是怎么发生的啊?

她有...

她用一些给小鸟的早餐来引诱你吗?

某个下午我在图书馆里工作到很晚.

当时只有我们两个.

她要人帮忙搞好她的图书分类.

当时发生了一些事.

告诉你们...

Anita是非常文雅和温柔的.

希望她得到安息.

她不是要拄着拐杖走路的吗?

只是天气潮湿的时候才是!

我无法相信...

你把这事告诉别人?

每个人都知道?

你知道么?

我要重新加入俱乐部.

Yeah!

我也要参加!

菲比!

对不起.对不起.

但我从来没有加入过俱乐部.

我没有上过高中.

但我们三个可以在垃圾房后见面学习法

语.

Bonjour.

好.好.

你们就继续你们的无聊小俱乐部吧~~,

我只想说一句

你做的坏事比我做的事要更坏.

你给我一个小东西啊.

Yeah.

好了够了.

听着.

你们想的太严重了.

瑞秋,就算是有那个传闻,

你还是学校里最受欢迎的女生.

每人都想学你一样.

有一个女生因为非常想学你,

她塞了一卷指头大小的东西在裤子里.

哇.

还有罗斯.

如果没有瑞秋的谣言

高中里就没有一个人会记得你.

她把你变成话题了.

和一个老人谈恋爱啊？

嘿是你自己说

Aldman老师是那种很漂亮的女人啊.

她的双眼.

它依然在闪耀着.

嘿老友.

这些都是陈年旧事了.

你们想的太多了.

现在你们的生命里有更多更重要的东西.

你们能不能就这么算啦?

她说的对.

我是想说...

我们都有了孩子了.

等等!

你让她怀孕了?

是啊.

你要和她结婚吗?

不会.

那就是说，你搞大她肚子,

但你不准备和她结婚.

老兄!

有人要来吗?

好的.

和我想的一样过瘾.

好了.那火鸡在哪里?

乔伊,那是我的孕妇裤子.

不是.它是我的感恩节裤子.

好了.

我吃光了.

出的汗里面都有鸡油了.

很好,乔伊.我们全都...

非常为你感到骄傲.

是的,我相信总统也快要打电话过来了.

有什么我可以为你做的吗?

没有了.只是...

谁都不要摸我的肚子.

顺便说一下，那条裤子归你所有了.

你那里有什么?

是馅饼吗?

是啊,你要吗?

切一小条给我就好了.

多一点.

多一点.

你在担心什么?

实实在在的切一块给我啊!

810TheOneWithMonica’sBoots

810TheOneWithMonica’sBoots

[Scene:MonicaandChandler's,Monicaistryingonapairofnewboots

asChandlerenters.]

Monica:Hey!Sowhatdoyouthink?

Chandler:Newhaircut?(Monicanods‘No.’)Necklace?(No)Dress?

(No)Boots?(Monicanods‘Yes.’)Boots!

Monica:Yes!Now,they’realittlemorethanInormallyspendon

boots…orrent(Showshimthereceipt.)

Chandler:OhmyGod!

Monica:Iknow.

Chandler:I’mgonnamissbeingabletoaffordfood.

Monica:I’msorry,theyjust,theyjustlooksogood!Andthe

saleswomanwaslookingatmelike,"Oh,thesearewaytooexpensive

foryou."

Chandler:Shehadapoint.(Showsherthereceipt.)

Rachel:(entering)Hi!

Monica:Hey.

Rachel:OhmyGod!(Noticestheboots)OhMonica!Thosebootsare

amazing!

810莫妮卡的皮靴

嗨

嗨，你认为怎么样？

新发型?

项链?

衣服？

靴子?

靴子!

是的！当然了，比我平时买的靴子贵了一

点,嗯..

比房租还贵

哦，天哪

我知道

我得为衣食发愁了

我很抱歉，但它们实在迷人

而且，

那个售货员看我的眼神就像我买不起它

似的

Monica:They’remine!

Chandler:Yeahwell,toobadwe’regonnahavetoreturnthem.

Rachel:Returnthem?!Shh!They’regonnahearyou!

Monica:Honey,I’?ImeanI-Iknowthey

costalot,butI’’llsee.

Besides,,haveyoueverhadsomething

sobeautifuleveryonewantedit?

Chandler:Ihaveyou.

Monica:Nicetry;I’mkeepingtheboots.

OpeningCredits

[Scene:CentralPerk,Phoebe,Ross,andRachelaresittingonthe

couchandRossistalkingtoRachel’s,whoisnowshowing,stomach.]

Ross:That’sright,Iloveyou!And-andI’mgonnaplaywithyouall

thetime.

Phoebe:Howcanyoulethimtalktoyourcrotchlikethat?

Rachel:(pause)He’stalkingtothebaby.

Phoebe:Ohh!Okay!Okay,causewhen-whenhesaid,"Ican’twaitto

hearyourfirstwords,"Ithought,"There’satrick."

Rachel:,Igottagoyouguys.I’llseeyoulater.

Phoebe:Okay.

Ross:Bye.

Rachel:Bye.(ShegetsuptoleavebutisstoppedbyJoey)

Joey:OhheyRach,listen—Hi!

Rachel:Hi.

Joey:Umm,canyoudomeafavor?Iwastalkin’tomysisterandshe

knowsyouworkatRalphLauren…

Rachel:No,forgetit!Noway!IamnotsendinganymoreRalphLauren

aste.

Joey:No-no-no-no-no-no,nother,gestsister,Dina,

she’sreallyinterestedinfashion,andshewantstotalktosomeone

successful,y’know,togivehersomeadvice.

Rachel:IguessIcantalktooneofmysupervisors…

Joey:Ohno-no-no-no,shewantstotalktoyou!

Rachel:Really?!OhmyGod!I’msuccessful!

Joey:Okay,sowillyoumeetwithher?

Rachel:Yes!I’dloveto!Havehercomebytheoffice.

Joey:Great!Thanks!You’—Oh,she’s

,y’knowtheS.A.T’s?

Rachel:Yeah.

Joey:Shetook‘em!

(JoeygoestogetcoffeeandRachelexitsasthecamerapanstoPhoebe

andRossonthecouch.)

Phoebe:HeyRoss!Doesn’tBengototheSmithfieldDaySchool?

Ross:?

Phoebe:Stinghasasonthatgoestheretoo!

Ross:YeahIknow;he’sinBen’sclass.

Phoebe:Youknewthisandyouneversaidanything?!Withallthestupid

dinosaurstuffyoutellus?!

Ross:Fine!Nomoredinosaurstuff!CanItalkaboutfossils?(Joey

isabouttositdownandhearsthissoinsteadhegroansandexits.)

Phoebe:Sting’sson,sevenyearsoldandthere’sapicture.

这才是你想买的主要理由吧

嗨.

嗨

哦，天哪

哦,Monica.这些鞋真有型!

当然，也不看看谁买的

是的，嗯，但可惜我们正要把它退了

你要退了这靴子?!

小点声!它们会听见的!

亲爱的，我们别退，好么?

我是指，我知道买它太奢侈，

但你同时也会天天欣赏

除此之外,

我爱听恭维

你可曾有过什么东西，美丽到人人都想拥

有吗?

我有你

干得好。我留下这靴子了

好的，我爱你..

我会整日和你玩耍

你怎么可以让他对你的胯部这样说话?

他是在和小宝宝说

噢，好吧!

好,'因为他说：我等不及听你第一句话."

我想,"这是个骗局.",

好...嗯，我得走了

回见.

好

再见.

再见

哦,Hey,Rach,听着--Hi.

Hi

嗯，你能否帮我个忙？我曾和我妹妹说起

过

她知道你在RalphLauren上班--

算了吧--没门--

我再也不把RalphLauren卖给监狱了，太

浪费了

不不，不是她，是我的最小妹妹,Deena--

她确是有志于时尚，想和些专家谈谈，

好给她些建议

她可以和我的主管谈谈

不，不，不，她想和你谈

真的?

哦，老天!

我是专家

那好，你愿见她么?

我愿意

让她到我办公室

谢谢。你会喜欢她的

她是Tribbiani家的孩子里最聪明的

Ross:Whatareyoureading?TheKidnappersGuidetoManhattanPrivate

Schools?

Phoebe:No,it’’sanarticleaboutthebest

elldoyouknowSting?

Ross:Uh,Iactuallyhaven’tevenmethim.

Phoebe:Uh-huh,yeahthat’ywanttogotohis

concertFridaynight,butit’!Whydon’t

youmeethimandgettickets?!IfyougettwoI’lltakeyou.

Ross:Wellactually,I’mpickingBenuptomorrow,maybehe’llbe

there.

Phoebe:Thereyougo!Oh,youaresolucky!Youmightactuallyget

tomeetStingtomorrow!That’swhyyouhavekids!

[Scene:CentralPerk,thenextdayRachel,Phoebe,andChandlerare

thereasMonicaenters.]

Monica:Heyguys!

Chandler:Hey-hey.

Rachel:HiMonica!

Monica:Hey.(Sitsdownonthearmofthecouch.)

Rachel:Hiboots.

Monica:SeeChandler?I’mgettingalotofuseoutofthemalready!

They’,youcanwearthemwithdresses,with

skirts,withpants…

Chandler:Youcanwearthemwithshortsonastreetcornerandearn

themoneytopayforthem.(Goesandgetssomecoffeeatthecounter.)

Phoebe:Wow!They’rebeautiful!

Rachel:Ahh…

Monica:(almostcrying)Theyhurtsomuch!

Phoebe:What?!

Monica:Theguywhomadethesehatesfeetandwantstoseethemdie!

Rachel:Well-wellyoucangivethemtome!Ihaven’tfeltmyfeet

inyears!

Monica:Ican’t!IspentsomuchmoneyonthemandItoldChandler

thatI’dwearthemallthetime,Ijustcan’tgivethemaway!

Phoebe:Wellthengetyourmoneybackandreturnthem!

Monica:Ican’tdothateither!Thesoles’arealreadyalittle

scuffedupandtheinsidesarefilledwithmyblood.

Ross:(entering)Hey!

Chandler:(returningtohisseat)Hey!

Ross:HeyIuhjustpickedupBenfromschool…

Chandler:(spinningaroundlookingforhim)Idon’tthinkyoudid

averythoroughjob!

Ross:IdroppedhimoffatCarol’s.(ToPhoebe)Anyway,itturnsout

thatI’mnotgoingtobeabletogetthoseticketsthough.

Phoebe:Ohno!Whynot?

Ross:WellitturnsoutthatBenandSting’ssondonotgetalong.

Phoebe:Howcome?!

Ross:Apparently,Sting’ssonmadefunofthefactthatBen’smoms

arelesbinims.

Phoebe:Wait!ButRossiftheydon’tgetalongthenyoushouldsmooth

embefriends.

Ross:Phoebe,youcan’tforcekidstobefriends.

你知道SATs（相当于美国的高考）吗?

是

她通过了

Hey,Ross,

Ben是不是在史密斯菲尔德日校上学?

是的，怎么了?

Sting（英国歌星）有个儿子也在那

是，我知道。他和Ben一个班

你为何知道这个却从来不说?

还老跟我们讲愚蠢的恐龙故事

好，再也不提恐龙了

我能说有关化石的话题吗?

"Sting的儿子，七岁大，还有他的照片

72

00:03:23,240-->00:03:27,098

你在读什么？绑架曼哈顿私人学校校童

的指南?

73

00:03:27,747-->00:03:31,654

不，是纽约杂志。有篇文章写本市最好的

学校

74

00:03:31,654-->00:03:33,696

嗯，你对Sting了解多少?

75

00:03:33,696-->00:03:35,207

事实上我们从未碰过面

76

00:03:35,207-->00:03:36,862

阿哈，好

77

00:03:36,862-->00:03:40,289

真倒霉，我很想去看他周五晚上的演唱

会，

但票已售謦

78

00:03:40,289-->00:03:41,214

我知道!

79

00:03:41,214-->00:03:44,428

你为何不与他见面....要点票!

80

Phoebe:Sureyoucan!Givethemsomeblocks,puttheminaplaypen!

Ross:Playpen?!Ben’sseven!

Phoebe:Yourkidisseven?!(Rossnods,"Yes.")(Totherest)He’s

reallysmall.(ToRoss)Please!Pleasegetthetickets!

Ross:LookI’msorryPheebs,Ican’tdoit.

Phoebe:Yesyoucan!Stingsayssohimself!

Ross:What?

Phoebe:(singing)Rossssscan!

Ross:LookPhoebe,I’msorryit’sjust…

Phoebe:(singing)Rosssscan!

Ross:Phoebe,I…

Phoebe:(singing)Rossscan!Givemethetickets!Rosscangiveme

thetickets!!

(Rossrunsouttogetthetickets.)

[Scene:Rachel’sOffice,JoeyhasbroughtDinatomeetwithRachel.]

Joey:(entering,withDina)Heresheis!Futurefashionsuperstar!

Rachel:OhJoey,I’mhardlya…

Joey:MylittlesisterDina!

Rachel:Right!HiDina!

Dina:Hi.

Rachel:Nicetomeetyou.(Theyshakehands.)

Dina:Thankssomuchformeetin’’stoldmesomuch

aboutyou!

Joey:,I’llletyoutwofash…ists

getdowntobusiness.(Exits.)

Rachel:htDina,welllet’stalkaboutthedifferent

’ssee,there’s

design,,

there’s-there’ssales,whichisgreatbecauseyougettotravel…

Dina:I…Idon’tcareaboutfashion!I’mpregnant!AndIknowyou

aretoo,soyougottahelpme!

Rachel:(stunned)Andthere’smarketing…

[Scene:TheHallway,Monicaisreturning,butbeforesheentersthe

apartmentshestopsonthestepandchangesfromwearingtennisshoes

tothebootsandshemoansinpainassheputseachbooton.]

Monica:(standingup)Ahhhhhhhh!

Chandler:(openingthedoor)What’swrong?

Monica:OhnothingI’mjust—justwasyawning.(Mimicsthegroanfrom

beforeandstretches.)

Chandler:Ohdon’tforget,myofficeholidaypartyistonight.(They

gointotheapartment.)

Monica:Honey,wedon’treallyhavetogotothisthingtonightdo

we?

Chandler:Nowsweetie,Iknowyoudon’tlikemyofficeparties,but

?Everycloudhasa…suppleleather

lining.

Monica:I-Idon’t-Idon’tthinkthatI’mgonnaweartheboots

tonight.

Chandler:Whynot?

Monica:Welly’know,I’mjust-I’mjustworriedthatbosseswill

!Oryourassistant

00:03:44,428-->00:03:46,183

若你拿到2张，我便带你去

81

00:03:47,142-->00:03:49,674

嗯，事实上，我明日去接Ben，可能他在

那儿

82

00:03:49,674-->00:03:50,988

那快去!

83

00:03:50,988-->00:03:54,450

噢，你真走运，明天就能见到sting了

84

00:03:54,450-->00:03:56,914

你有孩子就为这个

85

00:04:03,247-->00:04:04,458

-Hey,伙计们.

-Hey

86

00:04:04,458-->00:04:05,616

Hi,Monica

87

00:04:05,616-->00:04:08,317

Hi,靴子

88

00:04:09,461-->00:04:11,989

看看,Chandler,我几乎物尽其用了

89

00:04:11,989-->00:04:13,494

它们很实用

90

00:04:13,494-->00:04:16,443

看，这双靴子能搭配裙子和裤子..

91

00:04:16,443-->00:04:19,704

你还可以穿得更短些，站在街角招揽生意

92

00:04:21,938-->00:04:23,453

willseethemand-andwantaraise!

Chandler:DoyouthinkIworkatsomekindofbootpricingcompany?

Monica:Anyway,IpickedupthisoutfitthatIwanttowearandthe,

andthebootsdon’treallygowithit.

Chandler:Yousaidthatyoupaidallthatmoneybecausethoseboots

gowithskirts,dresses,andpants!

Monica:Fine!Ifyouwantmetoweartheboots,I’llweartheboots.

Infact,I’llgointomyroomrightnowandy’knowtrytheoutfit

on.

Chandler:Okay.

Monica:Okay?(Shestartstowalkwhichcauseshertostartcrying)

Ooowee!Christmaspartyinmyboots!(Runsintothebedroomandmixes

saying‘ow’withlaughing.)

[Scene:TheHallway,RachelisabouttoenterherapartmentwithDina

totellJoeythenews.]

Dina:I-Ican’’ttellhim!

Rachel:Honey,it’’sbeenincredibly

supportiveofme,andifhegetsalittleupset;that’swhatthe

meatballsubisfor.(ShegivesDinaasandwichwrappedinaluminum

foil.)

Dina:Thankyou.

Rachel:Okay.

(Theyenter.)

Joey:Hey!It’smyfashiongirls!(Theydon’treact.)What’swrong?

Rachel:Honey,whydon’tyousitdown?Dinahassomethingthatshe

wantstotellyou.

Joey:(concerned)’s,what’sgoingon?Isitmom?Isshe

sick?Isitdad’sheart?Isthatasandwich?

Dina:Joe,momanddadarefine…

Joey:Isthatasandwich?!

Rachel:Joey…there’ssomethingthatyou…?

Dina:I’mpregnant.

Joey:(angrily)What?!

Rachel:(ToDina)Now!Givehimthesandwich!Givehimthesandwich!

(Shequicklysetsthesandwichinfrontofhim.)

Joey:Wellobviouslythisisamistake!Youcan’tbepregnant!

Becauseyouhavetohavesextogetpregnant!

Dina:Joe,ItriedtowaituntilIwas25likeyoudid!

Rachel:What?!Dina…

Joey:(toRachel)Bub!!!(PointsatherandquietsRachel.)(ToDina)

Ican’tbelievethis!You’rethegoodone!Youwenttocollege!Both

years!Whodidthistoyou?!

Dina:BobbyCorso,buthe’’s

realfunny.

Joey:Yougotpregnantforfunny?!Dina…ifhe’sfunny…laugh!All

right,I’llbebackinalittlewhile!Youstayhere!

Dina:Why?Whereareyougoing?

Joey:Ican’tlookatyourightnow!(Exitsandslamsthedoorbehind

him.)

Dina:Wow.

Rachel:Iknow.

哇，它们真漂亮

93

00:04:23,453-->00:04:25,886

它们真令我受伤!

94

00:04:26,223-->00:04:26,860

什么?!

95

00:04:26,860-->00:04:30,930

作鞋的家伙肯定跟脚有仇，恨不得杀了它

们

96

00:04:31,496-->00:04:35,130

好，把它们给我，我数年来不知脚在何处

97

00:04:35,771-->00:04:40,319

我不能，我为它们花了大钱并告诉

Chandler

我会整日穿它们。我不能把它们送人

98

00:04:40,319-->00:04:42,421

嗯，那去退货

99

00:04:42,421-->00:04:43,584

我也不能

100

00:04:43,584-->00:04:48,397

鞋底已磨损，里面也粘了我的血

101

00:04:50,349-->00:04:51,521

-Hi.

-Hey

102

00:04:51,521-->00:04:52,913

Hey,我从学校接了Ben

103

00:04:52,913-->00:04:53,903

Oh

104

(Joeystormsbackinandcoveringhisfacesohedoesn’tseeDina

grabsthesandwichandheadsbackout.)

CommercialBreak

[Scene:TheMidfieldDaySchool,it’safterschoolandBenistaking

adrinkofwaterasPhoebeenters.]

Phoebe:Oh,thereyouareBen!

Ben:AuntPhoebe,whatareyoudoinghere?

Phoebe:Well,Iheardyou’rehavingaproblemwithoneoftheboys

thoughtIwouldjustcomedownhereandsit

youbothdown,,the

boy’snameisSting’sson.

Ben:Jack?Ihatehim!He’sajerk.

Phoebe:NowBen,sometimespeoplemayseemlikejerksontheoutside,

buttheyhavefamousfathers.

Ben:ndDougiswaitingformeoverthere.(Goes

overtoDoug.)

Phoebe:Himyou’refriendswith.(Startslookingatthechildren

tryingtofindJackandateachernoticesher.)

TheTeacher:,canIhelpyouwithsomething?

Phoebe:Yes!Yesyoucan,I’mlookingforJack’sparents.

TheTeacher:Areyouwithoneofthestudents?

Phoebe:Uh-huh,I’mwithBen.

TheTeacher:AreyouoneofBen’smothers?

Phoebe:IamoneofBen’smothers.I’,itwas

difficultcomingouttomyparents.

TheTeacher:Wellhi,I’mJennyBoone.I’mthenewteacherhere.

Phoebe:Oh.

TheTeacher:I’veonlymetyourpartnerCarol.

Phoebe:Ah!OkaysothatwouldmakemeSusan.

TheTeacher:lookingforJack’sparentstodiscuss

theproblemshe’shavingwithBen?(Phoebenods‘Yes.’)Yeah.

BecauseIreallydothinktheparentsshouldsitdownandhavea

conversation.

Phoebe:Yeah!Let’sdothat!!ldsit

downandtalk,justme,myloverCarol,,how-how

willIgetintouchwiththem?

TheTeacher:Oh,theirnumberisonthecontactsheet.

Phoebe:,could-couldIgetacopyofthat?‘Cause

Carolthrewitout,’ssuchascatterbrain,but

manwhatahotpieceofass.

[Scene:AStreet,ChandlerandMonicaarewalkingdownthesidewalk

afterhisofficeholidayparty.]

Chandler:Y’know,thatpartywasn’tbad.

Monica:Yeah!Ididn’safun

surprise!

Chandler:Idon’tseeanyuh,eshouldjustwalk?

Monica:Ohno,wecan’twalk!

Chandler:Whathoney,it’’s

go.

Monica:Hey!Doyouthinkthatwecangettothesubwayrightthere

ifweclimbdownthroughthemanholecover?

00:04:54,764-->00:04:57,045

我不认为你已做彻底

105

00:04:58,389-->00:05:00,423

我把他送到Carol家了

106

00:05:00,423-->00:05:03,261

还有，我觉得门票的事没戏了

107

00:05:03,261-->00:05:04,772

噢，不！为什么?

108

00:05:04,772-->00:05:08,523

嗯，因为Ben和Sting的儿子有矛盾

109

00:05:08,523-->00:05:09,424

怎么会?

110

00:05:09,424-->00:05:14,730

明显的,Sting儿子拿ben妈妈是女同性恋

开玩笑

111

00:05:15,966-->00:05:19,735

等等，但是，Ross，他们之间的矛盾你可

以解决

112

00:05:19,735-->00:05:20,606

让他们做朋友

113

00:05:20,606-->00:05:22,989

Phoebe,你不能强迫小孩交朋友

114

00:05:22,989-->00:05:27,111

你行的。给他们些石头，把他们关进婴儿

围栏

115

00:05:27,111-->00:05:28,776

婴儿围栏？Ben已七岁

116

Chandler:What’sgoingon?

Monica:Ican’?Okay?Thesebootswereahugemistake!

Chandler:What?

Monica:Okayyouwereright!Allright,Inevershouldhavebought

them!They’rekillingme!Onetoeatatime!

Chandler:whatitfeelsliketoberight.

(Pause)It’soddlyunsettling.

Monica:Howarewegonnagethome?Maybeapiggy-backride?

Chandler:Hopon.

Monica:,justgivemeasecond,Ineedtojustgetmyboots

offfirst.(Shestartstakingthemoff.)Ah…Ooh…Oohh…Ohh…Oh

God…Ohh…Oh…Ohh…Ohhhh…

Chandler:Honey,Iknowyou’reinpainrightnow,butI’malittle

turnedon.

[Scene:JoeyandRachel's,DinaandRachelarereadingpregnancy

books,DinaPregnancyforDummiesandRachelsomethingelse.]

Dina:Doyoueverworrythatyou’llbewalkingandyourbabywill

justlikeslipout?

Rachel:WhatcollegewasthatDina?

(Joeyentersdraggingaguy.)

Dina:OhmyGod!Bobby!

Bobby:seeyou.

Rachel:Joey,whatareyoudoing?

Joey:Justwhatneedstobedone!Dearlybeloved,wearegatheredhere

tojointhismanandthiswoman…

Rachel:OhJoeythisiscrazy!

Joey:Don’tinterruptmewhenI’mtalkin’toGod!Nowwherewere

we?Ohright,ina,takethisman…

Dina:No!

Joey:Ohyou’lltake‘em!

Dina:NoIwon’t!

Joey:Hey!Youdon’tgetasayinthis!

Dina:YesIdo!

Joey:Ahhh!Iheard"Ido",we’rehalfwaythere!Okay!(ToBobby)

You!

Rachel:AllrightJoey!Thatisenough!(Grabshimandpullshimaway

fromBobbyandDina)Listen,asbeautifulandmovingasthisceremony

is,it’?They-theydon’thaveamarriagelicense,

theydon’thaveanywitnesses,andthegroomonlyhasononeshoe!

Bobby:Yeah,hetooktheotheroneoffandhitmewithit.

Joey:WellwhatamIsupposedtodo?

Rachel:You’resupposedtorealizethattheyareadults!Andthat

theycanmaketheirowndecisions.

Joey:Notheycan’t!Theywerestupidenoughtogetknockedup!

Rachel:Heyyyyy!Contraceptivesarenotalwayseffective!(ToBobby

andDina)Right?

Bobby:Yeah…wekindadidn’tuseany…

Rachel:Oh,comeonkids!Alittlehelphere!

[Scene:Sting’sApartment,PhoebehascometotalkaboutJackand

iswaitingforSting’swife,TrudieStyler,toenter.]

Phoebe:Wow!Thisplaceisincredible!(Gasps)Sting’spen…thathe

00:05:28,776-->00:05:30,375

你孩子七岁了?!

117

00:05:31,860-->00:05:34,060

看起来可不象

118

00:05:35,459-->00:05:36,885

求求你，一定要搞到票

119

00:05:36,885-->00:05:39,233

对不起,Pheebs.我做不到

120

00:05:39,233-->00:05:40,304

不，你可以的

121

00:05:40,304-->00:05:42,052

Sting自己说的

122

00:05:42,052-->00:05:43,028

什么?

123

00:05:43,028-->00:05:45,728

Ross可以!

124

00:05:48,233-->00:05:49,492

听着,菲比--对不起，但只是--

125

00:05:49,492-->00:05:52,725

Ross可以!

126

00:05:54,516-->00:05:55,218

Phoebe,我..

127

00:05:55,873-->00:05:58,476

Ross可以。拿到我的门票!

128

00:05:58,476-->00:06:01,389

Ross可以给我门票!

gavetoPhoebe.(Putsthepeninherpurseandgoesovertoa

floor-to-ceilingbookcase)Comeon!Secretpassageway!(Starts

pullingbooksatrandomasTrudieenters.)

TrudieStyler:Hi!(Bytheway,it’sactuallyher.)

Phoebe:Hi!

TrudieStyler:I’mTrudie.

Phoebe:Uh-huh.

TrudieStyler:YoumustbeBen’smum.

Phoebe:WhyelsewouldIbehere?

TrudieStyler:Dositdown.

Phoebe:Uh-huh.(Theygoandsitdown.)

TrudieStyler:IgatherJackandBenhaven’tbeengettingalong

lately.

Phoebe:Yeah.

TrudieStyler:I’mtoldtherearetwosidestothisstory,butall

I’veheardisthatBen’sabitofapoo-poohead.

Phoebe:Umm,I’’t-won’tJack’sfatherbejoiningus?

TrudieStyler:OhI’msorry,Jack’sfatherisnotavailable.

Phoebe:en,couldwereschedule?Forsay,Friday

nightperhapsat8o’clock?

TrudieStyler:Ohno,Iknowthatwouldn’and’sin

concert.

Phoebe:esputusin…e

youseeI’mverybusybeforeandaftertheconcert,andhe’s

obviouslybusyduring.

TrudieStyler:So,IguessyouandIshouldtalkaboutJackandBen

rightnow.

Phoebe:Unless!Unlessumm,okayI-Iwouldbewillingtogotothe

concert,umm,allthewhilethinkingaboutthechildrenofcourse.

TrudieStyler:Areyouherefortickets?

Phoebe:Oh,uldbegreat.

TrudieStyler:I’mnotgivingconcertticketstosomeonewho’duse

theirsonlikethis!

Phoebe:Ohgood!Thenyou’reinluck!Ben’snotmyson!

TrudieStyler:(standsup)Look,I’vejustpressedabutton,

utenow,thepolicewillbehere!

Phoebe:ThePolice?Here?Areunion?!(Shegetsouthercamera.)

[Scene:TheStreet,ChandleriscarryingMonicapastastorewindow.]

Chandler:Okay,go.

Monica:(noticessomethinginthewindow)Ohwait!Stop!Stop!Stop!

Chandler:OhI’msorry!Doyouneedabreak?

Monica:Mybootsintan!Hey!CanyougetalittleclosersoIcan

seetheprice?

Chandler:’llcostyouonehusband.

Monica:Okay,I’Icanwalktherestofthewaynow.

Just-justgivememyboots.

Chandler:(pause)Idon’thaveyourboots.

Monica:WellIdon’rethey?

Chandler:Well,whydon’tyoucheckinoneofmysaddlebagswhile

Ichewonabaleofhay!

Monica:Okay.(Shegetsoffhim.)Godwell,wegottagobackandget

129

00:06:07,183-->00:06:10,035

她来了--未来时尚之星

130

00:06:10,035-->00:06:11,070

噢,Joey,我几乎已--

131

00:06:11,070-->00:06:13,450

我老妹Deena!

132

00:06:14,087-->00:06:16,293

好的，hi,Deena.很高兴见你

133

00:06:16,293-->00:06:17,934

Hi.谢谢你能见我

134

00:06:17,934-->00:06:19,716

Joey告诉我你的很多事

135

00:06:19,716-->00:06:21,370

这令她兴奋

136

00:06:21,370-->00:06:25,966

好，我会让你们两个时...进入正题

137

00:06:27,820-->00:06:28,883

好...好..

138

00:06:28,883-->00:06:35,874

那好,Deena.我们来谈谈时尚的不同领

域

139

00:06:35,874-->00:06:37,374

先从设计说起吧--

140

00:06:37,374-->00:06:40,025

但你需先到一定程度--

141

00:06:40,025-->00:06:42,584

them!

Chandler:Honey,areyouseriouslyevergonnawearthebootsagain?

Monica:Okay,I’idn’tget

achancetosaygoodbye.

Chandler:Y’knowwhat?Youcansaygoodbyetothetanones.

Monica:Okay.(Climbsbackonhisback.)Allright.

Chandler:Okay.(Movesclosertothewindow.)

Monica:(totheboots)Byeboots—Wait!Halfoff?!(Chandlerruns

off.)

[Scene:JoeyandRachel's,JoeyandRachelarestilldiscussingBobby

andDina’ssituation.]

Rachel:Joey,justbecausethey’renotgettingmarrieddoesn’tmean

heyhaveaplan!

Joey:Oh?Oh!Okay!Okay!Let’sheartheirplan!Now,what’sthe

futurelooklikeforDinaandBobby?

Bobby:Well…Ireallyhavehighhopesformyband.

Joey:(toDina)nny.

Rachel:Hey,nowwaitaminute!Igetwhenyoutoldpeopleatfirst

thatyouwantedtobeanactortheylaughedatyou!NowcomeonBobby,

whydon’tyoutellusalittlebitaboutyourband?

Bobby:Wellit’sjustmeandmypalRooster,theband’snameisNumb

Nuts.

Rachel:(ToDina)Really?(NodsherheadatBobby.)

Joey:Dina,ifyou’rehavingababyyoushouldbemarried!Evenif

itistoBobby!(Bobbygetshappy.)Dude,that’snotacompliment!

Dina:NoJoey!Iknewyouwouldn’tbesupportive!

Joey:Sowhoa-whoa-whoa-whoa!Whatareyougonnado?You’regonna

havethebabyand-andraiseitbyyourself…withoutahusband?!You

can’tbeasinglemotheralone!You’regonnaruinyourlife!

Rachel:Ohexcuseme!AmIruiningmylife?

Joey:No!No!No!It’’resostrongand

’renotsomedumbkidwhodoesn’tknowwhatshe’s

doing.

Dina:Excuseme?

Joey:Onepregnantwomanatatime,please!Ijustwantyoutobeokay.

Rachel:SoforcinghertomarryBobbyisgonnamakethathappen?

Joey:Maybe!(ToBobby)Well!Well…so-souh,whatkindofmusicdoes

NumbNuts—Ohforgetit!Ican’t!

Dina:Joey,allythinkIcan

doit,I’by’sgonnabeherethe

wholetime.

Bobby:YoubetIam!(ToJoey)Andtoansweryourearlierquestion,

we’restraight-upgangsterrap.(Joeyshakeshisheadasifhe’s

abouttoloseit.)

Dina:Look,Rachel’stoldmehowmucheasieryou’vemadeallthis

’tyoudothatforme?

Joey:Because!‘Cause…‘Causeyou’remybabysister!

Dina:Andyou’remybigbrother!Imean,you’remyfavoriteguyin

thewholeworld.I’ared

oftellingyou.

Joey:WellI’dbescaredofthem,butallright.

还是说说销售吧，你会在旅行中接触到..

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00:06:42,584-->00:06:44,040

我不关心时尚

143

00:06:44,040-->00:06:45,265

我怀孕了,

144

00:06:45,265-->00:06:48,150

我知道你也是，所以你该帮我

145

00:06:49,947-->00:06:51,684

这就是行销

146

00:07:14,342-->00:07:14,997

怎么了?

147

00:07:14,997-->00:07:18,486

噢，不，没什么...我只是打呵欠

148

00:07:19,570-->00:07:22,333

噢，别忘记，我的办公室聚会是今晚

149

00:07:22,333-->00:07:24,396

亲爱的，我们不是真的要去吧?

150

00:07:24,396-->00:07:27,074

甜心，我知道你不喜欢我的办公室聚会

151

00:07:27,074-->00:07:29,079

但你可以穿那双新靴子

152

00:07:30,540-->00:07:32,269

听着，每朵云

153

00:07:32,269-->00:07:34,206

都有柔软的皮衬底

154

Dina:Joey,Ican’tstandthethoughtofhavingthisbabywithyou

bygonnahavehis

UncleJoey?

Joey:Ofcoursehe’sgonnahavehisUncleJoey!

Dina:We’,evenifwe’renotmarried

tbyus.

Joey:That’sright!Byhisuncletoo!

Bobby:Andbyyou.

Rachel:OkayBobby,whydon’twejustcomeoverhereandletthem

havealittlemoment.(DragsBobbyawayfromJoeyandDina.)

Joey:Comehere!(HugsDinaandBobbylookstohugRachel.)

Rachel:No!Seriously!What’swrongwithyou?!

ClosingCredits

[Scene:CentralPerk,PhoebeandRossarethere.]

Ross:You’ingtickets!!(Holdsup

two.)

Phoebe:OhmyGod!Idoloveyou!Howdidyoudoit?!

Ross:Well…let’sjustsay…(singing)Rossscaaaaan!

Phoebe:Oo,wherearetheseats?

Ross:Uh,middlebalcony.

Phoebe:Okay,nowwouldyousaythatthat’smorethan50yardsaway

fromSting,hiswife,oramemberofhisfamily?

Ross:Yeah.

Phoebe:Thenthat’snotbreakingthelaw!I’mthere!

End

00:07:35,140-->00:07:37,474

我今晚不想穿这双靴子

155

00:07:37,474-->00:07:38,384

为什么?

156

00:07:38,384-->00:07:42,733

是因为，我担心你们老板看到这种高档货

以后，

会觉得你的薪水太高了

157

00:07:42,733-->00:07:46,545

或者被你助理看到了，她会跟你要求加薪

158

00:07:47,180-->00:07:50,257

你认为我在靴子价格公司上班?

159

00:07:51,030-->00:07:52,854

我要穿套装

160

00:07:52,854-->00:07:54,389

那鞋子和它们不搭配

161

00:07:54,389-->00:07:59,322

可是你说过，这靴子和任何服饰都能搭配

162

00:07:59,322-->00:08:01,894

好吧，如果你非让我穿，那我就穿

163

00:08:01,894-->00:08:05,024

我先回屋打扮一下

164

00:08:05,024-->00:08:06,756

好

165

00:08:08,620-->00:08:10,772

Ooh-wee!

166

00:08:10,772-->00:08:12,535

我的靴子里正在开圣诞晚会!

167

00:08:18,406-->00:08:19,825

我不能去那

168

00:08:19,825-->00:08:21,202

我不能跟他说

169

00:08:21,202-->00:08:22,430

亲爱的，一切将无事

170

00:08:22,430-->00:08:25,127

他曾超级支持我

171

00:08:25,127-->00:08:26,983

若他有一丝不爽，

172

00:08:26,983-->00:08:28,948

这个三明治就可以派上用场

173

00:08:30,641-->00:08:31,957

谢谢

174

00:08:33,353-->00:08:37,527

Hey!我的时尚妹妹来了!

175

00:08:39,199-->00:08:40,027

怎么了?

176

00:08:40,027-->00:08:41,417

宝贝，你为何不坐下?

177

00:08:41,417-->00:08:45,508

Deena有事想告诉你

178

00:08:45,508-->00:08:47,377

Oh.发...发生了什么?

179

00:08:47,377-->00:08:49,679

是有关老妈？她病了?

180

00:08:49,679-->00:08:51,751

老爸的心脏病犯了?

181

00:08:51,751-->00:08:53,247

那是个三明治?

182

00:08:55,864-->00:08:57,225

Joe,咱爸咱妈都好

183

00:08:57,225-->00:08:58,777

那是个三明治?

184

00:09:00,743-->00:09:04,337

Joey,有些事你应该知道

185

00:09:04,337-->00:09:07,266

Deena?

186

00:09:07,266-->00:09:09,220

我怀孕了

187

00:09:10,180-->00:09:11,279

什么?!

188

00:09:11,279-->00:09:12,972

现在--给他三明治!

189

00:09:13,927-->00:09:17,787

嗯，明显的，那是个错误

190

00:09:17,787-->00:09:20,556

你不经性行为怎可怀孕

191

00:09:21,051-->00:09:24,718

Joe,我尝试像你一样直到25岁才做

192

00:09:24,718-->00:09:27,373

什么?!Deena..

193

00:09:27,373-->00:09:30,618

闭嘴！

194

00:09:30,618-->00:09:32,261

我不敢相信!

195

00:09:32,261-->00:09:33,802

你是好孩子!

196

00:09:33,802-->00:09:35,377

上过大学!

197

00:09:35,377-->00:09:36,902

双倍时间!

198

00:09:39,065-->00:09:40,343

谁干的好事?

199

00:09:40,343-->00:09:41,576

BobbyCorso

200

00:09:41,576-->00:09:42,764

但他是个好人

201

00:09:42,764-->00:09:43,672

我很喜欢他

202

00:09:43,672-->00:09:44,548

他很搞笑

203

00:09:44,548-->00:09:46,621

你为搞笑献身?

204

00:09:47,395-->00:09:49,030

Deena,

205

00:09:49,030-->00:09:51,461

若他搞笑，你只管笑就罢了!

206

00:09:53,938-->00:09:56,022

我会马上回来，你站在这儿

207

00:09:56,022-->00:09:56,893

为什么？你去哪?

208

00:09:56,893-->00:09:59,444

我现在不想见你

209

00:10:02,039-->00:10:03,389

Wow

210

00:10:03,389-->00:10:04,730

我知道

211

00:10:19,056-->00:10:20,695

Oh,是你,Ben

212

00:10:21,445-->00:10:23,113

Phoebe阿姨你来这干么?

213

00:10:23,113-->00:10:26,540

嗯，我听说你和一个同学发生问题

214

00:10:26,540-->00:10:32,110

所以我想来帮你们，让你们平心静气解决

215

00:10:32,110-->00:10:33,949

现在，告诉我那孩子名字

216

00:10:33,949-->00:10:35,110

Sting的儿子

217

00:10:36,630-->00:10:39,157