2023年12月11日发(作者：)
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高三英语复习学案：How to Better Your Composition? (5.13)
Hu Ruiming
一、How to select words 遣词
(一）避免使用简单、笼统的词语
(二）“语”众不同，避免人云亦云
1. Last year, I visited Beijing with my father.
Last year, I ____________________ Beijing with my father.
2. After considering it carefully, I chose science as my main subject. After _____________________, I _____________ science as my main subject.
3. Suddenly I thought out a good idea.
A good idea ______________ to me. / A good idea suddenly ___________ me.
4. The students there needn’t pay for their books.
Books ________________ the students there.
5. As a result the plan was a failure.
The plan ______________________ a failure.
6. Immediately actions should be taken to protect the environment.
Immediately measures should be taken to _____________ the environment.
7. She went to Austria in order to study music.
She went to Austria _________________________ studying music.
8. When he spoke, he felt more and more excited.
___________________ he spoke, ______________________ he felt.
9. The interesting teacher knows how to make an interesting class.
The ______________ teacher knows how to make his class ______________.
10. The text is so difficult that I can’t understand it.
The text is so difficult that I can’t ___________________ it.
The text is so difficult that I can’t ____________ it ____________.
（三）使用自然、和谐、富有逻辑性的过渡词
表转折：however, on the other hand, whereas, nevertheless, on the contrary, anyhow, anyway
表对比：in contrast, in comparison, in relation to, likewise ,similarly
表递进：besides, furthermore, in addition, also, worse, still, moreover, let alone
表因果：as a result, consequently, therefore, thus, hence, so ,thanks to, due to, since, because（of）
表顺序：., and then.., finally, first…then.., after that.., finally
表推理：otherwise, if not, in that case
表让步：though, although, in spite of, despite, now that，considering
表目的：for this purpose, in order（to）that, in view of this
表解释：in other words, that is, namely
表总结：in all, in short, in brief, in conclusion, to sum up, in summary, finally
练习：
Haste makes waste
There is an old saying, “Haste makes waste.” It's the experience of our forefathers, however, it is correct and of
great importance in many cases even today.①_______________________（表顺序）it teaches us that we
shouldn't be overanxious for quick results.②_________________（表转折）we will fail.③_________________（表递进）if we emphasize too much upon speed, we will suffer sooner or later.④_________________（表举例）if we are too hasty in tests, it is very possible that we may make some mistakes or even fail.⑤____________（表递近）we may leave a bad impression on both the teacher and classmates that we are careless.⑥_________________（再次列举）if a sportsman is hasty in an important game, he may lose a very precious
opportunity to win the championship.⑦_______________________（表结果）he will lose the confidence to pick
the pieces up. Haste has many side effects. On the one hand, haste may result in wrong decision or more
mistakes. ⑧____________________________（表对比）haste means a failure or an accident in some important
occasion.⑨______________________（表总结）whatever we do, do pay attention to the balance of the speed
and quality.
参考答案： ①First ②Otherwise ③In addition ④For example/For instance ⑤What's more ⑥For another
example ⑦As a result ⑧On the other hand ⑨In conclusion
二、How to make sentences 造句
（一）长短句结合，增加段落的节奏感。
原句：I don’t have time to watch T.V. or enjoy music. I don’t even have time to read books or play football.
→I can’t follow my interests such as watching T.V. or enjoying music. To make things worse, I don’t even have
time to read books or play football.
原句：There are many trees on both sides. There is a river in the center of the city. There are many fishes in it.
→There are many trees on both sides. A river flows in the center of the city, in which live many fishes.
（二）使用倒装句、强调句等，改变句子单调性，增强修辞效果。
原句：I did not realize the importance of learning English well until then.
→Not until then _______________ the importance of learning English well.
→_______________ then __________ I realized the importance of learning English well.
（三）运用各种从句来丰富句式，增强句子的表达力。
1. 原句：To our surprised, the little girl knows so many things.
→_______________ is that the little girl knows so many things.（名词性从句）
2. 原句：It was quite an experience for us both, I will never forget it for the rest of my life.
→It was quite an experience for us both, ______________________ for the rest of my life. （定语从句）
3. 原句：I won’t believe what he says.
→______________________________ he says I won’t believe him. （状语从句）
（四）使用非谓语动词，使句子更加紧凑、严谨。
1. 原句：When she heard the news, she began to cry.
→_______________ the news, she burst out crying.
2. 原句：The woman carried a baby in her arms and got on the bus.
→_______________ in her arms, the woman stepped onto the bus.
3. 原句：Mr. Smith was invited by Nanjing University; Mr. Smith went to make a speech on DNA.
→_______________ by Nanjing University, Mr. Smith went to give a lecture on DNA.
（五）使用成语、谚语，使语言更显魅力。
（六）使用拟人修辞手法，使句子更具生命力、感染力。
1. 原句：The 29th Olympic Games was successfully held in Beijing in 2008.
→The year 2008 __________________________ the success of the 29th Olympic Games held in Beijing.
2. 原句：On 25th April, 2015 a destructive earthquake shook Nepal. →Nepal ______________________ a destructive earthquake on 25th April, 2015.
其它，如达到句式多变的最佳途径是把关键词或短语放于句首。
原句： Mark graduated last summer. He found a job in Wuhan soon after graduation. He received an engineering
degree from his college.
1. 介词结构+主语+谓语
→After graduating last summer with an engineering degree, Mark soon found a job in Wuhan.
2.主语+同位语+谓语+状语
→Mark, an engineering degree-holder, found a job in Wuhan last summer soon after graduation.
3. 状语+主语+谓语
→Having graduated with an engineering degree, Mark found a job in Wuhan last summer.
三、How to Organize the Passage谋篇
1. 第一段：开头部分（Opening paragraph）：写出文章的核心要点即主题句。用 2－3个句子完成，其中要有一个漂亮的过渡句。
2. 第二段：正文部分（Body paragraph）：围绕主题展开论述。用言简意赅的语言叙述一个结构完整、思想意义饱满的事例。注意所讲的事例一定要能突出话题的中心，可用6—10个句子完成。
3. 第三段：结尾部分 （Concluding paragraph）：用概括性的语言来总结全文主题，得出结论，回归话题，用 2－3个句子完成。
四、How to Examine the Topic 审题
1. 理解关键词语；
2. 挖掘隐含条件，排除干扰条件；
3. 把握内涵，理清寓意；
4. 关注提示语，选好切入点。
Q: 1. What’s your crack?
A crack of cheat in the examination / conflicts with your good friends / swelling with pride / rush for quick
results … Q: 2. What’s your gain?
Honesty / respect to my friends/ Haste makes waste. / Modesty leads to progress. …
五、Practice 实战
请根据以下提示, 并结合生活学习实际, 用英语写一篇短文。
There is a crack in everything; that’s how the light gets in.
注意：①无须写标题；②除诗歌外，文体不限；③内容必须结合你生活中的一个事例；④文中不得透露个人姓名和学校名称；⑤词数不少于120，如引用提示语则不计入总词数。
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附录：短文写作评分细则
一、评分原则：
1. 本题总分为30分，按5个档次给分。
2. 先根据文章内容和语言初步确定其所属的档次，然后以该档次的要求来衡量，确定或调整档次，最后给分。评分档次的确定应在内容符合题目要求的前提下侧重于语言的表达
3. 词数少于120的，将分数降低一个档次。
4. 评分时主要关注：内容切题，语言表达准确、多样、连贯、得体。
5. 拼写与标点符号，应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑，但英美拼写及词汇用法均可接受。
6. 书写较差，以至于影响交际，将分数降低一个档次。
二、书面表达各档次的划分及给分范围
第五档（很好）：（25～30分） 要点完整，表达清楚，无重大语法错误
完全完成了试题规定的任务。—所有内容与提示吻合。—应用了较丰富的语法结构和词汇。—语法结构或词汇运用准确，虽有个别错误，但不影响意义的表达，具备较强的语言运用能力。—恰当地使用了语句间的连接成分，全文结构紧凑。完全达到了预期的写作目的。
第四档（好）：（19～24分） 表达基本清楚，缺少个别要点，有些语法错误。
完成了试题规定的任务。—主要内容与提示吻合。—应用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求。—语法结构或词汇方面应用基本准确，个别错误对意义的表达—影响。—较恰当地使用了语句间的连接成分，全文结构较紧凑。达到了预期的写作目的。
第三档（适当）：（13～18分）尚能表达，缺少多个要点，语法错误较多。
基本完成了试题规定的任务。—主要内容与提示比较吻合。—应用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求。—有一些语法结构和词汇的错误，对意义的表达有较大影响。—基本能使用语句间的连接成分，全文结构比较松散。整体而言，基本达到了预期的写作目的。
第二档（较差）：（7～12分）表达含糊不清，不能成篇。
未恰当完成试题规定的任务。—主要内容与提示基本吻合。—语法结构单调，应用词汇有限。—有较多语法结构或词汇方面的错误，影响了意义的表达。—语句间的连接成分运用不当，缺少连贯性。信息未能清楚地传达给读者。
第一档(差)：（1～6分）动了笔，仅罗列了一些无关内容，原因可能是未理解试题要求。
未能完成试题规定的任务。—主要内容与提示不太吻合。—语法结构单一，应用词汇项十分有限。—较多语法结构或词汇方面的严重错误，严重影响了意义的表达。—缺乏语法之间的连接成分，内容不连贯。信息未能传达给读者。
0分
未能传达给读者任何信息，内容太少，无法评判；写的内容均与所要求内容无关或所写内容无法看清。
三、评卷定档参考
档位 评阅印象 感觉
cool
爽
顺
行
差
晕
第五档
漂漂亮亮
（25～30分）
第四档
清清楚楚（2/3语言没问题，有个别小问题）
clear
（19～24分）
第三档
马马虎虎（半对半错，很纠结）
（13～18分）
第二档
（7～12分）
第一档
（1～6分）
0分
糊里糊涂（1/3有英文， 2/3 看不懂）
一塌糊涂（基本无英文或无法读懂）
照抄试卷中阅读理解等文段
coy
cloudy
chaotic
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